


Hold me tight or don't

by tay_tay19



Series: The Reckless & The Brave [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Spies, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Injury, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Spy!Tsukki, Undercover Missions, no beta we die like men, professor!kuroo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 45,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28912611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tay_tay19/pseuds/tay_tay19
Summary: Tsukishima Kei enjoys learning, and he's good at it. He has the patience and the drive to learn anything he puts his mind to, that's why at twenty-four years old he has two PhDs, speaks 7 languages, has three black belts, and has a position as a paleontologist at a world-renowned museum. It's also why he'd caught the eye of the Fukurodani international intelligence group in his last year of grad school. For some reason, the one thing he could not seem to learn was that handsome men with Cheshire grins are not to be trusted. Now he has to navigate his career as a spy and his cover as a paleontologist all while deciding whether or not to let the man who ghosted him once already back into his life.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka
Series: The Reckless & The Brave [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177385
Comments: 107
Kudos: 159





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey look I'm back! Have some more Kurotsuki for your souls. This fic is going to be a bit more complicated than my last few Haikyuu fics so between that and school being back in session it will take a bit longer for me to get the chapters out. So from here on out this fic will be updated on Friday's probably sometime between midnight and ten am depending on my work schedule. Hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
> [Come find me on Tumblr!](https://heyitstaytay21.tumblr.com/)

Tsukishima Kei learned early in life that people didn’t like to feel dumb. It was a problem that people encountered pretty frequently when associating with him. He was considered somewhat of a genius in the small town that he grew up in. It’s not that he tried to get on people’s nerves really. He just understood things better than most people. He liked learning, craved it actually. The things that he studied just made sense. By eight years old he’d been taken out of elementary school and put into the same middle school as his brother.

Their parents had expected Akiteru to protect Kei. But it wasn’t easy being the sibling of a genius. Kei’s grades were always at the top of the class and it grated on Akiteru to be constantly left in his shadow. Their relationship had never really recovered. Kei was an outcast, too tall for kids his own age and too smart for the older kids in his class. His inability to communicate normally with others didn’t help either. So he got used to it. He got used to the bullies and the beatings and the isolation. 

At eleven he graduated from high school and was accepted into a university in the city near his hometown. He had a scholarship that would cover the cost and his parents sent him spending money each month. They rarely came to visit him. He thinks that they were probably relieved to have him out of the house. Akiteru got to spend his last few years of high school pretending he didn’t have a brother.

Kei earned his first bachelor’s degree at thirteen. He understood by then that it was his age that bothered people. They didn’t mind him being smarter but the fact that he was young and smart got on their nerves. So he decided to stay in school. He transferred to another college and continued his studies. At eighteen he transferred schools again. This time to one in Tokyo. 

He was still younger than most of the people in his department but his height and his generally quiet personality made him seem older. He fit in for the first time. His classmates invited him to their groups and he starts to find dates. He suddenly finds himself participating in sports when his roommate’s track and field team doesn’t have enough members and he realizes that not only does he enjoy the activities but he’s good at them. He runs the relay and he has no problems with the hurdles or the pole vault. From there he tries other sports, swimming, volleyball, tennis, basketball. Since he’s never really had to study he fills his free time with different physical activities. 

He’s twenty-one when he decides that it’s time for him to finish school. He’s old enough now that it won’t be as hard to try and fit into a professional workplace and with his qualifications, he could do just about anything he wants. He decides to take one more year to touch up on some of his subjects that he hasn’t taken in a while and so he finds himself taking a history course taught by one of the university’s newest teachers, Professor Kuroo. 

Professor Kuroo is different from most of the teacher’s Kei has had. For one he’s young. Kei guesses that he can’t be older than thirty. For another, he’s incredibly casual in class. He generally dresses in jeans and hoodies, he’s often gone for weeks at a time, leaving his TA to teach the class. When he does show up he often looks hungover or like he hasn’t slept in days. His black hair is never brushed, sticking up every which way and falling in front of his eye. He asks to be called just Kuroo with no honorifics added on. He’s also unfairly handsome. Kei often catches himself losing focus because he’s paying too much attention to the professor. Kei’s not the only one, there’s a large number of girls and a few boys in the class that all seem enamored with the man. 

It’s not the first time that Kei has been attracted to a man but it is the first time that it’s been so distracting. Kei knows that he doesn’t really need to focus that much on the subject but he’s never had bad grades before and he has no plans to start now. That’s why when his teammate from the track team invites him out to a mixer at a club he agrees to go. 

Kei is smart. He’s always been smart. That’s why he knows when he’s doing something incredibly stupid. He has a few too many drinks at the club and as he’s watching the dance floor he sees a man that looks to be about his age. He’s a very beautiful man with perfectly fitting clothes that show off his long legs and slender waist. He’s got curly black hair that falls perfectly around his face. Normally Kei knows to be more careful. He knows to not flaunt his sexuality in public but he’s too drunk and too annoyed with his attractive teacher to really think about the consequences. 

He dances with the man, and he doesn’t bother to keep his hands to himself. The man’s face is unreadable really but his eyes are dark, and they trail over Kei’s figure and he knows that they’re both thinking the same thing. Nothing happens in the end though. The man’s friends find them and he’s whisked away by a rather muscular guy. Kei isn’t going to risk it. He’s lost his teammates and he’s too annoyed to socialize anyway so he heads out on his own. He’s only a few blocks away from the club when the first fist hits him from behind. 

He loses his footing and stumbles to the ground and then he’s surrounded. He’s too drunk to function properly and there’s too many of them. They beat him. He feels like a child again. Scared in a classroom full of older stronger kids. He can feel his brother’s eyes on him, watching what happens without lifting a finger to help. Kei feels small. 

The next morning he wakes up in bed feeling like he was run over by a truck. He doesn’t remember getting home. He’s hungover and bruised. A split lip and a black eye. A rather nasty cut on his forehead. He figures that a concussion is probably why he can’t remember getting home. His ribs are bruised, most of his body is bruised really. The ribs are the most concerning though. He makes sure that nothing is really broken before going to the bathroom and taking a look at himself in the mirror. He looks like a mess and it takes him a while to get himself looking somewhat back to normal. He has to use his spare glasses as it seems his normal pair didn’t make it home with him. 

He finishes up with just enough time to make it to his history class on time. There are too many stairs to go up to get to his normal seat in the back of the classroom so he’s forced to sit closer to the front. He’d rather be bruised than have something broken but he knows the next few days are going to be a pain. As the classroom starts to fill up Kei can feel eyes on him. He’s sure he looks a mess. He keeps his eyes on his textbook and hopes that no one bothers him as everyone settles.

“Alright ladies and gents let’s get this over with,” the professor says as he comes into the room. Kei glances at his watch, class was supposed to start fifteen minutes ago. It’s just his luck that Kuroo is actually there. The professor had been gone for last week's classes. Kei keeps his head down. Kuroo picks up the lesson right where the TA had left off. He doesn’t acknowledge the fact that he’s been gone at all. Kei closes his eyes and just listens to him talk. He’s got a relaxing voice and Kei nearly dozes off. He doesn’t notice when the class goes silent. 

“Tsukishima-san,” Kuroo’s voice is closer. Kei opens his eyes and sits up straight. The professor is standing in front of him. He opens his mouth to speak but stops when he gets a good look at Kei’s face. “Jesus christ what happened to you?” He reaches out and holds Kei’s face. Tilting it side to side to get a good look at the damage. Kei’s head is throbbing and the movement doesn’t help. 

“I’m fine Professor,” He pulls away wincing a bit. Kuroo leans down resting his elbows on Kei’s desk. 

“Rough night then?” 

“Something like that,” Kei sighs. He’s sure the whole class is watching them right now. He doesn’t want the attention. Kuroo takes his keys out of his pocket and shines a small flashlight in Kei’s eyes. It’s way too bright and Kei has to bring a hand up to block it out. 

“What time did you get home?” Kuroo puts the flashlight away.

“I’m not sure…” Kei tries to remember. He can remember walking he thinks.

“Do you remember getting home?” 

“Yes.”

“You’re a terrible liar Tsukishima,” Kuroo stands up straight and sticks his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie. His sudden movement makes Kei’s vision go fuzzy for a moment. He takes his glasses off and cleans them. “Good news everyone! Tsukishima-san here has gotten us all out of class for the day. Finish the reading or something.” No one hesitates to leave. Kei drops his head onto his arms and tries to block out the noise. 

“So does the other guy look worse?” Kuroo asks when the classroom has cleared out. Kei gets up and puts his belongings in his bag. “Hey hold on now.” Kuroo puts his hands on Kei’s shoulders and guides him back into his seat. 

“I’m fine professor,” Kei tries to get up again and winces as pain shoots through his side. 

“I’m pretty sure you have at least a concussion and judging by the way you’re moving maybe some broken ribs or something. I’m going to take you to the hospital.”

“I don’t need to go to the hospital.”

“You’re obviously in pain,” Kuroo sighs and crosses his arms. “Alright let’s just compromise then. I’ll take you back to your dorm and make sure you’re not going to die. You got a roommate that can keep an eye on you?” 

“No, no roommate.” 

“A friend or a girlfriend that can stay with you?” 

“No.” 

“Well, I can’t leave you alone with a concussion. You’ve gotta have someone.” 

“I don’t have anyone,” Kei knows plenty of people. He has teammates and people he hangs out with, but no one he’s that close to. The people he’d dated in the past had told him he was too cold and his friends eventually all left him. 

“Then you’re coming with me anyway. Where does it hurt the least?” Kuroo asks. 

“I’m fine,” Kei stands up. The room sways a bit and he reaches out grabbing his desk for support. Kuroo’s arm wraps around his waist Kei leans against his chest instead. 

“You’re not fine clearly. But we’re going to walk to my car now and you’re gonna have to stay on your feet because I can’t carry you without hurting you.”

“I can walk,” Kei says. Kuroo keeps him close and guides him out of the building and to the faculty parking lot. Kei ignores the pain by focusing on Kuroo. The professor is a lot more solid than he expected. He’s always wearing baggy clothes and he usually slouches a lot while he’s teaching. 

Kei doesn’t really remember the car ride or anything else really. Not until he wakes up in an unfamiliar bed in a dark room. He panics for a moment until the memories start coming back. This is Kuroo’s apartment. He forces himself to sit up and feels around for his glasses. 

“Oh good Tsukishima you’re up,” Kuroo says cheerfully as he comes into the room. Light spills in from outside it and Kei groans and covers his eyes. 

“Why are you so loud,” He complains. Kuroo comes further into the room and sits on the edge of the bed. He picks up Tsukishima’s glasses from the nightstand and places them in his hand. 

“I’m not loud you’re just concussed,” Kuroo turns on the light on the nightstand and Kei tries not to flinch too much. Kuroo holds his face still and examines the cut on his head. “You going to tell me who beat the shit out of you?” 

“Maybe I fell down some stairs,” Kei sees that there’s a glass of water on the nightstand and picks it up to take a long drink.

“I’m pretty sure there’s a boot print on your back.” 

“It doesn’t matter. It was just… I got drunk and danced with the wrong person,” he puts the glass back down and twists his fingers on his lap. 

“Ah, jealous boyfriend then… and his friends?” Kei has a feeling that he’s not going to drop it. 

“No, alright. They saw me dancing with a guy and it offended them so they let me know.” 

“You didn’t try to fight back at all?” Kuroo takes Kei’s hand and examines it. 

“Fighting back just makes it last longer.” 

“You say that like you’ve had experience.” Kuroo lays back and rests his head on Kei’s leg. 

“I was a freakishly tall eight-year-old in a middle school. Then I was a freakishly tall ten-year-old in high school.” 

“You could learn how to fight back,” Kuroo suggests.

“What?” Kei stares down at him. He feels weird having Kuroo’s head basically on his lap. He wonders what it would feel like to run his fingers through his stupid bedhead. 

“You’re athletic right? You’ve definitely got the body of an athlete.” 

“You looked at my body?”

“You don’t remember? I checked your injuries when we got here. You were pretty out of it,” Kuroo sits back up and looks at him with concern. “I really think you should see a doctor.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“You’re stubborn is what you are.”

“I’m starving actually, do you have any food in this place?” Kei asks. 

“Absolutely not. I’m a bachelor. I’ll order us something what do you like?” 

“Anythings fine.” 

“Alright, I’ll go get my phone and order then,” Kuroo stands up and heads for the door.

“Professor Kuroo?” Kei calls after him, the teacher stops in the doorway and looks back at him. “What did you mean about fighting back?” 

“Self defense. You should at least be able to defend yourself. You haven’t thought about doing like Karate or anything?” 

“I don’t know anyone in those types of clubs,” he shrugs. 

“Do you only do sports you know people in?” 

“I guess.”

“Alright. When you can move without dying then I’ll teach you.” 

“You’re gonna teach me to fight? Since when do history teachers fight?” 

“Hey, I wasn’t always a teacher. I was a bit of a trouble maker back in high school. Just you wait and see,” Kuroo winks and then heads out of the room again. 


	2. Chapter 2

Kei thinks that there’s probably some rule against teachers fraternizing with students. Kuroo doesn’t even seem to think anything of it. He insists that Kei stay with him until his injuries heal. It feels weird having someone take care of him. His instinct is to just do things for himself. He wants to go to class and get his own food, but Kuroo takes care of it all. He brings him the assignments from his classes and he makes sure there’s food for Kei to eat even when he has meetings or classes to teach. He helps Kei move from the bedroom to the living room until it doesn’t hurt as much to move. He even helps Kei apply some sort of weird ointment to the bruises that is supposed to help them heal faster but Kei thinks it mostly just smells weird. Though Kei has to admit (to himself only) that he doesn’t mind all the touching. 

After two weeks though it gets to be too much. He’s practically crawling up the walls. He’s still sore and somehow his black eye seems to look worse, but at least the cut on his head and his split lip are healing well. Other than headaches he doesn’t really have any symptoms left from the concussion either. 

“I’m going home tomorrow,” He announces. Kuroo had been about to sit down on the couch with their dinner in his hands. He freezes for a second then sits and looks at him.

“Sick of me already?” He asks, holding out a plate. Kei takes it and picks up the chopsticks.

“No, not really. But I’m fine. I don’t need to be looked after. I can take care of myself,” He shrugs his shoulders and pokes at his food. Kuroo sits sideways and looks him over with a calculating look. 

“It’s alright to let yourself be taken care of once in a while Tsukishima,” He says. 

“I’ve gotten by on my own until now.”

“Why is that? I’ve seen your academic records. You’ve been in university since you were like thirteen.” 

“I didn’t fit in. I never have. Too tall, too blonde, too smart. It’s not my fault everyone else is an idiot.” 

“What about your parents?” Kuroo scoots closer and moves some of Kei’s hair back so he can look at the cut on his forehead again. “Did you put the ointment on this today? I don’t want it to scar.”

“Also idiots,” Kei ducks his head away. “It’s fine. Eat your food.” 

“Eat your own food.” Kuroo sits back and eats. “They just sent their kid off to college at thirteen?” 

“They sent me to high school at nine. They were over me long before then,” Kei pushes a piece of chicken around his plate. 

“You’re right,” Kuroo grabs the piece of chicken and pops it into his own mouth. “They were idiots.” 

“Are you flirting with me?” Kei asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“You’re not supposed to ask,” Kuroo juts his lip out in a pout and Kei just rolls his eyes and looks away to hide the blush that he knows is dusting his cheeks.

“You’re not supposed to flirt with your student.” 

“I’m not supposed to bring them home and tend to their wounds either,” he points out.

“Well, you’re a terrible teacher anyway. If they haven’t fired you for never showing up then I doubt they’ll start now.” 

“I’ve got tenure. They can’t fire me for shit.” 

“How old are you even? Because I’m pretty sure you’re too young to have tenure.” 

“Ah see getting to know me. It’s like a first date,” Kuroo grins and leans close to him again. 

“I think the first date is supposed to come before you get me into your bed.” 

“Couldn’t help it,” Kuroo reaches out and cups Kei’s cheek. He runs his thumb gently over the mostly healed cut on Kei’s lip. “I don’t like seeing pretty things get hurt.” 

“Pretty?” Kei scoffs. 

“Very pretty.” 

“You’re not smooth,” He tells the professor. 

“I’m a little smooth. Now let’s get back to the original topic. Unless you’d like me to keep complimenting you. Because I can do that,” Kuroo moves back once again and Kei already misses his touch. 

“What topic?”

“Why do you want to go back to your dorm? I’m not going to stop you but I want to make it clear that I’ve got no problem with you being here.”

“I feel fine. I’m used to being active. Class and sports. I’m going to go stir crazy if I keep spending all day on your couch.” 

‘Let’s go somewhere then. I’ll tell the nerd to cover my class and we can go do something,” Kuroo grabs his phone and unlocks it.

“You can’t just call your TA the nerd, he has a name,” Kei scolds him. 

“I’m sure it’s a great name. He’s a good kid. Plus he gets paid for this stuff,” Kuroo gets up from the couch and takes their plates to the kitchen.

“You don’t even know his name? You really are the worst professor at that university,” Kei scoots to the edge of the couch and holds his breath as he gets up. It definitely still hurts, but he doesn’t want Kuroo to know that. He wants to get out of the apartment. 

“I know his name, just not right at this moment,” Kuroo comes back into the living room and frowns at Kei. “What did I tell you about that?” 

“I’m fine Kuroo.”

“You’re not fine, you’re just stubborn. I’m going to go get changed. Then we’ll get out of here,” He flicks Kei’s forehead and then heads for the stairs. 

“Why are you getting changed? Where are we going?” 

“Stop asking questions!” Kuroo calls down. Kei lets out a long sigh and settles on the arm of the couch to wait. His heart is racing. He’d been attracted to the professor since the beginning of the semester but he’d never actually considered pursuing anything. He definitely never expected the professor to feel the same way. He’s not sure what to do from this point. How long will it take before Kuroo gets tired of him? The longest relationship he’d had was only a month long and Kei had already spent more time alone with Kuroo than he had with any of his exes. 

“You ready?” Kuroo’s voice comes from right beside him and Kei jumps a bit. He hadn’t even heard him come back downstairs. “Tsukishima?” 

“Yes, I’m ready,” He stands up straight and sticks his hands in his pockets. 

“Great, let’s go,” Kuroo goes to the door and slips on his tennis shoes. “Where are we going?” 

“You’ll see when we get there.” 

“I don’t like surprises Kuroo,” Kei slides his own shoes on and follows Kuroo out the door. 

“I’ll remember that on our anniversary,” Kuroo grins and wraps his arm around Kei and leads him to the car. 

“What anniversary?”

“Our one year anniversary, our two year. Maybe our fiftieth. I might be senile by then though so I might forget and plan a surprise party.” 

“I’m not sure I could stand you for that long.” 

“I’ll settle for twenty-five.” 

“We’ll see if you can make it to one month before you start making long term plans.” Kei gets in the car and puts his seatbelt on. 

Kuroo takes him to a small gym a few miles from the college campus. It’s an older looking building and there’s not really any signage outside of it. Kei probably wouldn’t have even noticed it was there if Kuroo hadn’t been there to show him the way. 

“Hang here for a second alright Tsukishima? I’m gonna let the owner know I’ve brought a guest,” Kuroo touches Kei’s arm for just a moment then crosses the gym to talk to a guy with dark spiky hair. Kei fidgets with his fingers and looks around the gym. There are two guys sparing on some mats and Kei watches them. He’s never really watched people fight before and it’s interesting to see the way they move. 

“Terushima! Come here!” The spiky haired guy calls out. A guy with bleached blonde hair runs across the gym to join Kuroo and the gym owner. They talk for a bit longer and then Kuroo comes back with the blonde following behind him. 

“Tsukishima this is Terushima. He’s been training here for a bit so he’s gonna help us out today,” Kuroo explains. Terushima’s hair is spiked and he’s got a lot of piercings.

“What exactly are we doing?” Kei asks skeptically. 

“I told you that I’m going to teach you self defense. You’re beat to hell still so you won’t be doing anything for a while but I figure that you’re probably pretty good at learning stuff just by watching so Terushima’s gonna help me show you what to do.”

“You get fucked up?” Terushima asks, he leans into Kei’s space and looks at the bruise on his face. Kuroo pushes him back and wraps his arm around Kei’s waist moving closer to him. 

“Have some manners Terushima, and keep your hands off,” Terushima’s eyes widen just a bit and he holds both his hands up as he steps back. Kei raises an eyebrow.

“Yes, I was assaulted if that’s what you’re referring to,” he says. Terushima scratches the back of his head and looks away guiltily. 

“Come on let’s get to work,” Kuroo pats Kei on the back and then leads Terushima away to one of the mats. Kei sticks his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and watches them. Kuroo is actually a good teacher when he wants to be. He explains things carefully as he and Terushima move through the motions of presenting different self-defense techniques. Occasionally Terushima will try to throw in a surprise attack and Kuroo easily stops him each time. Kei watches closely, memorizing the way Kuroo’s body moves. 

“Looks like he’s trying to show off again,” A voice says from beside him. Kei looks and sees that the spiky haired man had come over and was standing next to him now. 

“Is he?” 

“Definitely. I’m Iwaizumi Hajime,” He says holding out his hand. Kei shakes it.

“Tsukishima Kei. Does he do this often then?” 

“Do what?” Iwaizumi watches Kuroo and Terushima. Their self-defense demonstration has devolved into more of a sparring match as Terushima tried to land a hit on the teacher. 

“Show off?” Kei shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket and focuses on Kuroo’s movements.

“Are you one of his students?” 

“Yes, does that matter?” 

“Not really. He’s never brought one of his students here. He doesn’t really bring anyone here actually. I think he’s embarrassed by it a little.”

“He seems to know what he’s doing. Why would he be embarrassed?”

“Did he tell you why he learned to fight?”

“He said he had a ‘troubled past’” Kei quotes. Iwaizumi laughs loudly. Kuroo looks over at the two of them with a frown on his face.

“Iwa leave him alone,” Kuroo complains. Iwaizumi grins back at him as he throws an arm around Kei’s shoulders. 

“Don’t let him fool you Tsukishima-san. He learned how to fight because he’s an Indiana Jones fanboy.”

“Indiana Jones?” Kei covers his mouth and looks away to try and hide his laughter. 

“What’s wrong with Indiana Jones?” Kuroo asks, he ducks away from Terushima’s punch and catches his arm, flipping the younger man over his shoulder and dropping him on his back. 

“I have no problem with Indiana Jones,” Iwaizumi moves his arm from around Kei’s shoulders and crosses them. “I just think the fact that your whole career is based on a movie is a bit ridiculous.”

“Does he have a whip?” Terushima asks, he’s still lying on the floor but he’s rolled onto his stomach now. 

“A whip?”

“You know, Indiana Jones has a whip and the hat,” Terushima jumps to his feet to avoid a kick from Kuroo. “I bet Kuroo-san has both in his house somewhere. You should find it and tell us!” 

“I’m not going to snoop through his belongings,” Kei’s already been at Kuroo’s apartment for a while now. If there was anything incriminating he’d surely have seen it. 

“I don’t have a whip!” Kuroo insists.

“Oh, so you do have the hat then?” Iwaizumi teases. 

“Hats mess up my hair.” 

“At this point, anything happening to your hair would be in improvement,” Kei slips off his shoes and walks onto the mat to stand beside Kuroo. 

“TsukkI! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Kuroo whines, he drops his head onto Kei’s shoulder, being careful not to jostle him too much. 

“It’s Tsukishima,” He leans his face away from the mess of Kuroo’s hair but he doesn’t shake the professor off.

“I know it is but Tsukishima is too long and Tsukki sounds cuter!” Kei narrows his eyes and moves away quickly causing kuroo to lose his balance and stumble a few steps.

“I don’t need a ‘cute’ nickname, Tsukishima will be fine,” He holds his hands behind his back and fidgets with his fingers. “Let me try what you showed me.” 

“I’ll help!” Terushima cheers. Kuroo shoots a glare at him.

“He’s not doing anything right now you Monkey. Tsukki needs to let his body recover properly.” 

“I’ve been recovering enough. I need to start moving again or my body is going to get stiff.”

“Yeah! Come on Kuroo-san let me teach him. Don’t be such a pain in the ass!”

“Watch your language Terushima,” Iwaizumi scolds. Terushima at least has the decency to look a bit guilty as he glances around the gym to see if anyone else has heard him. “If he was here he’d give you a mouthful.”

“You brought me here to teach me. So teach me, Professor” Kei says tilting his head to the side. He sees something in Kuroo’s eyes then, just for a moment and he wants to see it again. Kuroo gives in like Kei knew he would. 

The training isn’t hard, it’s easy for Kei to remember the movements. They go slow, Kuroo too worried about Kei’s injuries to allow for too much. In the end, though Kei is sore. Feeling all the injuries like they’re fresh again. He doesn’t say anything about it as they walk back to Kuroo’s car together. The older man must know it though. He wraps his arm around Kei’s waist to support him as they walk but he doesn’t bring it up.

“It feels good to move,” He admits as he lets himself lean into Kuroo’s side. “I stayed still for so long.”

“It hasn’t been that long.”

“Not now, just before. Or now too I guess. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m good at school, and I’m good at sports, but I don’t have… goals? Or plans? It’s why I stay in school. I just keep studying and trying to figure out how to be normal. Sitting around healing just feels like a waste when I’ve got so much to figure out.” 

“God you sound like you’re an old man Tsukki,” Kuroo laughs loudly, his head dropping onto Kei’s shoulder. “Just relax. You’re only twenty-one. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you still.”

“I feel ancient,” Kei sighs. “I don’t get along with people my age. They just… don’t make sense to me.” 

“You get along with me,” Kuroo lifts his head as he takes his keys out of his pocket. He unlocks the car but then leans against the passenger door before Kei can open it. Kei looks down at him.

“You’re older than me.” 

“I’m twenty-seven that’s barely older. We’re both in our twenties so it doesn’t even count.” Kuroo grins at him. 

“Aren’t you young to be a professor?” 

“You’re not the only genius around you know,” Kuroo’s eyes drift over Kei’s body, he wants to think it’s something else but he knows that Kuroo’s eyes are lingering on where the bruises still mark his skin. 

“Could have fooled me.”

“I doubt it. I see the way you absorb everything.”

“Absorb everything?” Kei leans against the car beside him, their arms brush but neither of them moves away. 

“When you were watching me and Terushima. You had this look in your eyes like you were seeing everything, every tiny movement. Then when you tried yourself I barely had to correct you. Do you have a photographic memory?”

“I thought you were a genius? There’s no such thing as photographic memory.” 

“Eidetic memory then?” 

“I don’t think it’s that. I don’t know. I just watched the way your body moved when you were demonstrating things. I copied it. I’ve done that before,” Kei shrugs.

“You say that like it’s so boring.” 

“It is. It’s not that interesting.” 

“It’s very interesting Tsukki. You’re interesting,” Kuroo faces him. “If you can move tomorrow then let’s go on a proper date.” 

“What?”

“Well you’re going to be sore, so if you’re up to it let’s go on a date.” 

“You… want to go on a date with me?” 

“Very much.” 

“Why?” 

“What do you mean why? Why wouldn’t I want to date you? I like you, I’m pretty sure you like me. Or you’re starting to at least. Come on, one date.” Kei studies him. He looks confident at first, his body language and the grin on his face. The longer Kei looks at him the more he can see, the uncertainty in his eyes or maybe nerves. He’s waiting for Kei to say no, he’s hoping for a yes. 

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea for us to date,” Kei doesn’t know what answer he wants to give him, that’s a lie. He knows what he wants to say, he knows why he shouldn’t say it.

“Why not?”

“You’re my Professor and there’s still nine weeks left of the term. It will probably be awkward to be in the classroom together after you break up with me,” It would hurt. To let himself get close to Kuroo and then have to sit there for two hours a day watching him teach. Kei is sure that Kuroo is different from his last few relationships. It would hurt when Kuroo left him. 

“When I what? Tsukki we haven’t even started dating yet and you’re already planning our breakup?”

“That’s what happens Kuroo. People think I’m interesting. They think I’ve got some secret or I’ve got a wall, and if they just find a way around that wall then I’ll be different. More… normal and then they see that they were wrong. There’s no hidden personality. There’s no wall. I’m not warm. I’m just me.” 

“I don’t want you to be anything but you Tsukki,” Kuroo moves in front of him, resting his hands on the car on either side and caging Kei in. “I’m not trying to change you. I want to get to know you. The real you. Whatever you want to show me.”

“And if you don’t like what I have to show you?” Kei keeps his eyes on Kuroo’s chest. He doesn’t want to look in his eyes. If he looks at Kuroo’s face he’ll see what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling. 

“Then we figure that out when it happens but we shouldn’t let the possibility of it happening stop us from moving forward,” Kuroo lifts Kei’s chin, makes him meet his gaze. Kei takes a deep breath and tries to prepare himself, but he’s not sure what he’s seeing. Again there’s a look in Kuroo’s eyes that he can’t figure out. 

“It’ll be awkward if it doesn’t work…”

“Then it’ll be awkward for a little bit. We’ll figure it out. What do you say Tsukki?”

“I wish you’d stop calling me that,” Kei feels his fingers twitching. He wants to fidget with them, he knows it’s a nervous habit. It gives him away, he needs to learn how to control that. He holds onto the fabric of Kuroo’s shirt instead. He hadn’t noticed before how close they were standing, barely any space left between them. All it would take is a slight tilt of his head and their lips would touch. 

“Yes or no, Tsukki?” Kuroo’s hand moves from his chin to cup the back of his neck, fingers sliding through Kei’s hair. Kei can’t speak, he can feel himself starting to panic. He wants this, he knows he does but he can’t shut off that part of his brain that’s telling him all the ways it could go wrong. He needs to stop thinking, he tugs gently on Kuroo’s shirt and tilts his head just a bit. Their lips brush together and Kei feels like he can breath again. It doesn’t make sense, he barely knows Kuroo. There are a million reasons they shouldn’t be together, a million things that could go wrong. But kissing Kuroo feels right. Like they fit perfectly together. Kei forgets that they’re out in public, he forgets the pain radiating from his bruised ribs, he forgets his doubts and he just lets himself feel. Kuroo’s lips, the warmth of his body pressed against Kei’s, his fingers tangling in blonde curls. 

*****

Their relationship isn’t perfect. They fight and they makeup, they have different likes and dislikes. Kei waits for the end to come but the semester ends and Kuroo is there. He still goes off on his spur of the moment trips, he sends Kei pictures from archaeological dig sites all over the world, brings back souvenirs from museum openings and keynote speeches. But he’s there when Kei needs him. He’s there when Kei’s track team makes it to finals when Kei figures out what he wants to do after college, he’s there when Akiteru attempts to make amends and ends up outing Kei to his whole family when Kei’s parents disown him. He is there when the boiler keeps breaking in Kei’s dorm for the millionth time and he’s there to spend their first night together in their new apartment just off campus. He teaches Kei how to defend himself and then he teaches him how to fight. He’s there when Kei gets sick. He’s there when Kei fractures his wrist during a soccer game. He’s there and Kei falls for him. He falls for him hard and faster than he ever thought possible. He’s there on a beach in Hawaii on one knee with a black and silver ring in a velvet box. 

He’s there for two years, two years of showering Kei with love and attention. Two years of early morning kisses and breakfast in bed. Two years of support. And then he’s gone. Kei comes home to their apartment after an exam. Kuroo’s eight pairs of tennis shoes are gone from the doorway, his clothes are gone from their closet and dresser, his toiletries are gone from the bathroom, his files are gone from his office. Kei stands in the apartment filled with only his own belongings and he feels nothing. He lets himself feel nothing. He had known. Some part of him had known that no one would want to stay with him forever. Kuroo’s number is disconnected. His social media deleted, or maybe Kei has just been blocked. The head of the history department says he left for a job in Tunisia, Kei has a feeling that’s a lie. He waits, some part of him waits, will always wait. He knows that it’s over. The ring goes back into its box. It’s stashed away in a box. Kei finds a new apartment. He finds a new university to finish his final degree at. Kei doesn’t feel. He fights. He finds a new gym. He finds new people to fight. He feels the pain of each bruise, each cut, each broken bone. He gets lost in the nothingness

He cries when Iwaizumi finds him at the university. They sit on a bench side by side with coffee cups in their hands. Kei’s fingers are wrapped in bandages. They don’t talk. Kei doesn’t ask if Iwaizumi knows where he is, if he knows the truth. He doesn’t ask how Iwaizumi found him or why. He goes back to the gym. He let’s Iwaizumi train him. He remembers to eat three meals, to sleep through the night. To let his injuries heal. He remembers how to live. Kuroo isn’t there. Kei isn’t dead. He knows how to survive. He knows how to take a hit. He knows what it’s like to be alone. He’d forgotten that. All it had taken was two years to make him forget about a lifetime. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all aboard the feels train! 
> 
> [Tumblr!](https://heyitstaytay21.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who am I kidding? I don't know how to stick to a posting schedule. I don't have the self control for that.

Tsukishima Kei is twenty-three years old. He is a week away from graduating from university for the last time. He’s been promised a job at the museum that he’s been interning at for the last couple of months. He is preparing to move to an apartment further from the university. He thinks that he might have a stalker.

It had started nearly a month ago. Kei hated being in his apartment for extended periods of time, it felt too empty. He spent his time studying, the coffee shop, the library, and sometimes the park if the weather was nice. The first place he’d seen the man was the coffee shop. He’d been there when Kei arrived, sitting at the table next to Kei’s usual seat. He was the kind of guy that stood out in a crowd. Tall and slender, his clothes looked like something out of a fashion magazine. He had a pretty face and perfectly styled brown hair. Kei had thought that he was probably an annoying type of person. He’d made a point of ignoring the fact that the guy had stared at him. 

The next time he’d appeared had been the library and then the park. Kei kept seeing him all over campus. He doesn’t talk to Kei but he does watch him. He always seems to be watching. Kei isn’t sure what to make of it. He only ever sees the man in public spaces. It could have been a coincidence but Kei is good enough at reading people to know that it’s not. The man is watching him. Studying him almost. 

It’s the week before his graduation and the man finally approaches him. They’re in the coffee shop again. Kei got there first today. He had finished his coffee and he was reading a book he’d picked up from the library. He didn’t have to study anymore at least. He had no more classwork to finish. It felt weird. The man comes into the coffee shop and orders two drinks. He sits at Kei’s table this time. Setting the second coffee next to Kei’s empty one. 

“I’m Oikawa,” The man says with a smile that he probably thinks is charming. Kei puts his bookmark in the book and sets it down. He glances at the coffee cup and sees that it’s his normal drink.

“Is that supposed to mean something?” He asks with a raised eyebrow. The smile stays on the man’s face but Kei sees something in his eyes. Hurt, or maybe some sort of longing. It doesn’t really make sense to Kei but he figures he’s missing some sort of context.

“I suppose not. This is the first time we’ve spoken after all. Are you going to introduce yourself?” He sips his own drinks. Even from the other side of the table, it smells too sugary to Kei.

“You’ve been watching me for a month. If you haven’t figured out my name by now that’s your own problem,” Kei picks up his new drink and takes a sip. 

“Ah, I guess you caught me then huh Tsukishima-san,” His grin widens and he leans across the table. “Have you been watching me too?” 

“No, but you’ve made no attempts to hide yourself. Whatever it is you’re after I’m not interested.” 

“You haven’t even heard what it is yet,” Oikawa pouts and Kei is sure now that this is not a person he wants anything to do with. 

“I’m not interested,” he repeats. Oikawa takes a business card out of his shirt pocket and slides it across the table. 

“It’s a job offer.” 

“I have a job lined up already,” Kei pushes the card back across the table. This Oikawa guy clearly has no manners. 

“Are you really going to be satisfied as a curator at a tiny little museum? Wouldn’t you rather do something more… adventurous?” Oikawa slides the card back. Kei glances at it this time, it’s a black card with white wording and gold accents. It reads ‘Fukurodani International group’ in the center. At the bottom is the name Oikawa Tooru with the title of recruiter. 

“The Fukurodani international group? Never heard of it.” Kei picks up his coffee again. 

“You wouldn’t have. But we’ve heard of you Tsukishima-san. We’ve been watching you for a few years now.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you’re a genius and you’ve proven that you’ve got plenty of athletic ability, you don’t have many connections either” Oikawa sits back and crosses one leg over the other. “You have numerous skills that we want to utilize. It’s not a job just anyone can do.”

“What job is it then?”

“This isn’t the place to discuss it really,” Oikawa taps the card on the table. “If you’re interested then we’ll meet again. There are a location and a date on the back of this card. I’m sure that we’ll meet again, Tsukishima-san. I’m looking forward to it.” He stands up then and winks as he takes his coffee and heads out of the shop. Kei isn’t sure what’s just happened if he’s honest. What kind of company seeks out their staff this way? And why did that Oikawa guy mention him being athletic and having no family? He picks up the card and flips it over. On the back is an address with a date and time. It’s the same day as his graduation ceremony, a few hours after in fact. Kei sticks the card in his wallet and gathers his things before heading out of the coffee shop himself. He’s got a job already. It’s not like he needs another one. He’s a bit curious though.

The day of his graduation comes quickly. He doesn’t see Oikawa again. The card sits in a drawer of his desk to collect dust beside a velvet box. Kei wears a suit to his graduation, it’s warm out and he’s hot sitting in the sun in his suit and graduation robe. It takes a long time for them to get through all of his classmates' names. He wonders why he even wanted to attend the ceremony. There is no one to cheer for him as he walks across the stage. No family, no friends, no teammates. Kei’s alone. He goes straight home afterward. He ignores his classmates as they take pictures with their families. His apartment feels even emptier than normal. His belongings are all packed into boxes for his move the next day. 

Kei slips off his shoes and wanders into the apartment. He finds the bottle of whiskey that Iwaizumi had gifted him for his last birthday. He doesn’t drink often but he feels like he needs it today. He sits at his desk and pours himself a glass as he looks out the window. He hates feeling lonely. There was a time when he’d been used to it. When it didn’t affect him. Kei opens his desk drawer as he takes a drink of whisky. He stares into it at the black card and the black box. He picks up the box first and opens it. The silver of the ring has become tarnished and he thinks he should get it cleaned, but there’s no point. It’s just going to go back into the box, back into the desk, back to gathering dust. Kei puts his glass down and slides the ring onto his finger for the first time in months. For some reason, he’s surprised it still fits. 

It’s been eight months since Kuroo left. For awhile, Kei had thought that he wasn’t going to be able to recover. It hadn’t even hurt that much when he realized his family didn’t want him around. He takes the ring back off and goes to put it back in the box but he stops himself. He thinks that he’s probably not over it at all. He checks the other drawers of his desk and finds a box full of some odds and ends. There’s a chain in there, part of a necklace that used to belong to Kuroo. It’d been one of the few things the other man had forgotten to take with him when he left. Kei hangs the ring on the chain then puts it around his neck. He feels better having it close for some reason. 

He tucks the chain into his shirt then finishes his whiskey. He tosses the empty ring box back into the drawer and takes the card out. He’s going to go. He doesn’t know why but he wants to know what it is. Oikawa had been so vague when talking to him and trying to figure out what the job could possibly be had annoyed him all week. There was no mention of a company with the name Fukurodani anywhere on the internet. It seemingly didn’t exist. He’d even looked up the address on the card and found that it was a high rise building downtown but there was no Fukurodani listed in the directory.

He changes out of his suit and into a pair of black jeans and a red hoodie, he thinks that might have been left behind too. He briefly thinks that he should dress up for this. It's a job offer after all, but it’s not one that he was actually planning on pursuing. They’re the ones that have to impress him after all. He drinks another glass of whiskey before he goes, the ring around his neck feeling impossibly heavy. He doesn’t even know why he took it out. Kei slips on his tennis shoes and heads out. He takes the train to the station and finds the right building. 

It’s bigger than he expected, a sleek glass building. Kei checks the time before going inside and looking around. The lobby is sleek and modern. Oikawa is seated on a couch and he jumps to his feet with a smile when he sees Kei come in. He makes his way over with a leather folio in one hand. 

“Tsukishima-san you made it!” He says cheerfully. Kei considers leaving right then and there. 

“Nothing better to do,” Kei shrugs, sticking his hands in his pockets. 

“Not one for graduation parties huh,” Oikawa grins. 

“I don’t go to parties. Look, are you going to tell me what this is about or not?” He’s not in the mood for small talk. 

“Oh alright let’s get down to business then. Everyones so serious around here. How dull.” Oikawa heads for a set of elevators. Kei considers leaving, he wonders why he even came here. He lets out a long sigh and follows Oikawa anyway. He’s here, he might as well go along with it. “Just a quick elevator ride and then we can talk freely,” Oikawa says as the elevator doors open. They both step on. Kei’s surprised when instead of pressing one of the buttons Oikawa places his hand on the back wall. A light scans over his hand and then the elevator moves down. 

“What is the Fukurodani international group?” He asks. “There’s no mention of it online.” Oikawa grins at him and puts a finger to his lips. 

“In a minute eager beaver,” he folds his hands behind his back and rocks on his feet. Kei wonders how far down they are going. He’s confused when the doors open. The room they step into is a perfectly normal looking reception area. There are even windows which is very confusing since he’s positive they’re underground. 

“Welcome to The Fukurodani agency,” Oikawa smiles at him and practically skips over to the reception desk where a bored looking guy sits. Oikawa leans on the desk and says something. The guy gets up and casts a glance at Kei before getting up and moving over to another wall. He and Oikawa both put their hands onto it, lights scan their hands, and then a panel on the wall slides open. Kei is fully confused now. 

“Wake up Megane-kun,” Oikawa sings. “We’ll go into my office and chat.” The bored looking guy yawns. Kei follows Oikawa through the doorway and down a hallway to an office. It’s a surprisingly dull looking office. There’s nothing but a desk and a few chairs. No personal items or plants. Kei was sure that a guy like Oikawa would have a more chaotic office. This isn’t his actual office then. Oikawa sits down at the desk and sets his folio down on it. 

“So what do you think?” Oikawa asks with a smirk on his face. Kei sits in one of the chairs and crosses his arms.

“You haven’t given me enough information to form an opinion.”

“Tell me what you say then and what you think based on that,” Oikawa’s smile seems predatory. 

“You’re testing me,” Kei points out.

“Yes,” Oikawa crosses one leg over the other and folds his hands.

“Dull,” Kei stands up. “I’m done with tests.” 

“Don’t think of it as a test then. Show off.” 

“There’s nothing to show off. Any idiot could tell that this is obviously not a normal office job. You’ve refused to give me any information about it which makes me think that it’s not common knowledge. Taking the elevator required a biometric scan. Opening the door to enter this office required two biometric scans. The receptionist was armed as are you. You also switched from using the Fukurodani international group to the Fukurodani Agency once we were safely in the building.” Kei sits back down. “You said that you’d been watching me for years. I have an above average intelligence and athletic skills. I’ve been trained in several types of martial arts and I speak numerous languages. All of which would make me an ideal candidate for an intelligence agency.”

“See that wasn’t so hard now was it.”

“I have no interest in this line of work. You were obviously already aware of that when you brought me here. So why bring me into this building?” 

“I’m a recruiter for a reason Tsukishima-san. I know people. I know what makes them work. The agency has been watching you for years. I’ve been watching you for months. You’re bored. You want to be active. You’re also alone. No boyfriend, no family, the only person you interact with enough to be considered a friend is your trainer but you don’t see him outside of the gym and you don’t share your personal life with him. You’ve moved once already in the past year and you’re preparing to move again. If you come work here then your life as Tsukishima Kei will become nothing more than a cover. You’ll be given a boring mundane job, probably at some museum somewhere just like you wanted. You’ll be given a new identity.”

“And if I say no? If I decide to walk out right now with this information you’ve just revealed?” 

“We’ll erase your memory of the last few hours before you go,” the brunette smirks. 

“I doubt you have the capability to erase a person’s memories,” Kei has an idea of what would really happen.

“Then we’ll just have to keep you silent another way,” Oikawa drops his leg to the floor and leans his elbows on the desk. “I’m never wrong about people Tsukishima-san. I knew your answer the moment I spoke to you in the cafe.”

“I knew you were an arrogant narcissist before you spoke to me in the cafe.”

“Mean Megane-kun,” Oikawa pouts. He opens the folio and slides it across the desk. There’s a pen inside with a contract. Kei scans over it. “If you agree then there are rules to follow obviously. You’ll keep your current identity until it’s compromised. There will be a year of training at one of our facilities and then you will be placed on a team and given a cover job. If you sign this contract then you agree to turn your life over to us. You must never tell anyone your true job. It doesn’t matter if you get married and adopt a bunch of brats. It doesn’t matter if your family reaches out. This job stays secret.”

“I’ve already accepted a job offer.”

“We’ll inform them that you’ve become unable to take it. We’ll also handle removing your personal belongings from your apartment. You won’t be allowed to bring anything with you to the training facility except what you’re wearing right now.” 

“Right now?” 

“There’s a private plane waiting for you at our airport,” he taps the contract. “All you have to do is sign.” 

Kei signs.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr!](https://heyitstaytay21.tumblr.com/)

There was no luxury at the training facility. There are five other new recruits there with him. They sleep in a single dorm. Kei doesn’t know anything about them but their codenames. Freckles sleeps in the bed beside Kei’s, he’s a pretty quiet guy who seems to be nervous all the time. Kei doesn’t mind his company so much but the others are a bit annoying. There’s a kid with a mess of red hair called Chibi-chan, and another quiet guy with a temper called The King. The last one is a blonde-haired girl called the designer. Kei feels a bit bad that she’s stuck sharing a room with them but apparently she’d been well informed before coming here. 

They don’t really see much of each other while they’re training. Other than sleeping in the same room but they’re all too tired to talk much. They spend their days with different trainers. A strange looking man named Guess teaches them how to read people, how to understand body language and facial expressions. Their firearms instructor is a giant of a man who’s called Ushiwaka. He won’t even let anyone fire any of the weapons until they can name every single part and practically build one on their own. Somehow Kei isn’t surprised to see Iwaizumi there to teach them how to fight. He’s just called Trainer now though. Kei’s used to the code names so it doesn’t take him long to adjust. He doesn’t need much more training with Iwaizumi. 

They don’t talk much when others are around. Iwaizumi joins him one day while he’s eating breakfast in the cafeteria. They sit across from each other at the table silently eating their food. Kei has questions. 

“Did he know?” He asks. 

“No, you know the rules,” Iwaizumi steals a strawberry off of Kei’s tray. Kei glares at him, he’s not allowed to argue with any of the trainers.

“So the gym?” 

“My cover.”

“Do you… go on missions?” Kei asks.

“No, my team was taken out of the field. We work behind the scenes now. Agents wanting to keep up with their training are encouraged to join the gym,” Kei wonders what could cause an entire team to be taken out of the field.

“What about him?”

“I don’t turn away civilian customers. He is my friend. Do you want to talk about him? You’ve been avoiding it,” Iwaizumi finishes his food and puts his chopsticks down. 

“There’s nothing to talk about anymore. He made it clear that he didn’t want to stick around. I’ve got a new goal now,” Kei stands up with his tray.

“Finish your food Megane-kun. The meals are personally balanced for each person.” 

“I don’t have a large appetite, Trainer,” Kei narrows his eyes. 

“That’s why I helped you,” Iwaizumi grins at him.

“I would have eaten all of my strawberries,” Kei turns away and tosses his trash before heading to his first training session. 

The year of training passes by quickly. Kei and the other trainees all pass. They each receive a tattoo of a feather on their backs between their shoulder blades, with a number in white ink. Kei is number eleven. If something happens to him on a mission that’s the only identification he will have. 

On their final day at the training facility, they meet their new leader. The Captain is the head of the Crow team. He’s got an easy smile and a warm personality but Kei has a feeling that he doesn’t have trouble taking control of things. They’ll probably need it with how badly Chibi-chan and the King’s arguments can be. Kei will be glad when he’s back in his own place and he’s sure the others will be too. Freckles and the designer aren’t that bad but the other two are just straight up idiots. 

They’re given their personal belonging back as the captain explains what happens next. They’ll be mission free for a month in order to step into their new covers. Chibi-chan and the king are both athletes of some kind, they’ll go back to playing on teams. The designer will work for some advertising firm. Freckles has been given a bookshop to run. Kei will be working at a museum, as they told him he would be. Changing back into his own clothes is strange. The hoodie isn’t as loose on him anymore. The chain and ring are cold against his skin when he tucks it inside his shirt. 

Fitting back into a normal life in Tokyo is hard for Kei. He always noticed a lot more than most people but now his ability to do so has been finely tuned. He sees everything. Every threat, every emotion. He watches it all closely. He needs to learn how to turn it off. The month to readjust makes sense. He settles into his new apartment. All of his belongings have been taken from his old one and unpacked already when he arrived. 

He starts his new job at the National Museum of Nature and Science. He doesn’t really have to interact with any of his coworkers so it’s easy. He spends most of his time in the warehouses exploring everything. It’s good. It’s the kind of job he would have loved before but now he has this option of more. He’s had a taste of what he could be doing. Waiting for it to happen makes him antsy. 

When the month is up he’s able to finally meet the rest of the team for the first time. It’s different from what he expected. He recognizes the four from the training and they’re introduced to the rest of the team. The silver-haired Mr. Refreshing is their second in command. There’s Samurai, Guardian Deity, Buddha, The director, The conductor, and Beauty. They’re not all field agents; a few of them coordinate things from behind the scenes, transportation, and cover stories. The newbies are all paired up with some of the older agents. Kei gets paired with the captain. The king will be working with Mr. Refreshing, Chibi-chan with Buddha, Freckles with Samurai. Designer will be working behind the scenes with Beauty. 

Being on missions is easier for Kei. The captain keeps them on a strict plan. He makes sure that Kei knows the basics, makes sure he keeps himself safe, no reckless actions. Kei gets a cut on his ribs near the end of the mission. Daichi scolds him for the mistake that caused it and then he makes sure that Kei remembers how to treat his own wounds. He’s a good leader, Kei can understand why he got the codename Captain. 

For his next mission, he’s teamed with Mr. Refreshing, who is admittedly kind of scary. He seems soft, all sweet smiles and kind words. He changes in a second though, during the mission he’s ruthless. He fights hard and fast and never hesitates. Kei’s not sure what to make of him at all. When they’re alone he goes right back to being all sweet like nothing happened. 

“How do you handle it?” Kei asks. They’re in a safe house waiting for a signal that they’re safe to return. Mr. Refreshing is stitching himself up one handed. Kei had to shoot someone. He’s never shot an actual person. He didn’t think he’d feel as badly about it as he does. 

“It’s not something anyone handles well. We see people die. We cause people to die. It never gets easier… I learned how to shut it down in the field. It’s when it’s all over that it gets hard. I probably drink too much, don’t sleep enough. My husband helps. Holds me when the nightmares come.” Mr. Refreshing wraps a bandage around his wound and tapes it in place. 

“Are you allowed to tell me you’re married?” Kei inspects his gun, he hears Ushiwaka’s voice in his head telling him what to look for.

“You don’t even know my name, what are you gonna do Facebook stalk me?” Mr. Refreshing laughs and pulls his shirt back on. 

“Is lying hard? I mean to your… husband, right?” 

“You’re not going to get all weird now that I’ve told you I’m gay are you?” 

“No, no not at all. I’m… I’m just not used to people being so open about it,” Kei pulls his ring out of his shirt and rubs his thumb over the cool metal. 

“Oh? You too then?” Mr. Refreshing skips over and drops onto the couch next to Kei and leans close to look at the ring. Kei slips it back into his shirt.

“I’m… interested in men. I don’t have anyone though.”

“What’s the story with the ring then?” 

“My past. We’re not supposed to share personal information,” Kei gets up and goes to see if the signal has come in yet. 

“Well, I don’t mind sharing personal info. Lemme tell you about my husband,” He grins. 

“Hard pass,” Kei says. 

“That’s lame! No one ever wants to hear about how hot he is,” Mr. Refreshing stretches out along the couch. 

“You could try answering the question I actually asked.” 

“It’s a boring question.” the silver haired man waves him off. “I don’t lie to my husband. I mean neither of us talks about work. So it’s not really lying. He has a tough job too. We support each other in our own ways.” 

“Do you have any other family?”

“The team is my family. I know it may seem odd at first, no names, no information. But we all do this job. We all face the same stress. We support each other. There are resources offered for support but sometimes it's easier to go to your teammates.” 

“Relying on other people is a waste of time, there’s the signal let’s go home. I need a shower,” Kei gathers up their supplies. Mr refreshing rolls himself off the couch and gathers his own belongings. 

Kei is back in his own apartment alone that night. He takes a long shower. The cut from his mission with the captain has left a scar. It’s Kei’s first scar. He doubts it will be his last. He sits on the couch afterward, wearing a red hoodie and a pair of gym shorts. He drinks a bottle of whiskey and falls asleep there. The next morning he goes back to work at the museum, like nothing has changed. 

He learns more about the other teams over time. There’s The Cats, The Monkeys, The Foxes, The Snakes. There are elite teams like The Addlers and The Jackals. The team that Iwaizumi had belonged to was called The Castle before they’d been disbanded. The heads of the agency remain nameless and faceless. An agent called Voice relays all communication from them. He’s a young looking guy with a pretty face and curly black hair. He tends to keep an impassive look on his face most of the time no matter what kind of information he’s relaying. 

Each of the teams tends to have its own specialty. The Crows seem to be a jack of all trades really while The Cats are best at stealth missions and information gathering. Kei gets paired with them on occasion. He’s gotten good at undercover work, his height and his looks make it easy for him to pretend he’s not Japanese. He’s gotten better at mimicking accents so he blends in well. He’ll often escort someone from The Cat’s team on a mission. A few of them can be annoying, but there’s one called Kodzuken that he doesn’t mind so much. He’s got long hair bleached at the ends that he usually wears tied. He’s quiet and never seems to mind following Kei’s instructions. When he does speak it's usually something worthwhile. 

“What do you do when you go home?” He asks one day. They’re sitting on the roof of a building, Kei with his rifle and Kodzuken with his drone controller. 

“What?” Kei glances at him. They never do small talk, it’s one of the things he likes about Kodzuken. 

“After this mission. What are you doing?” 

“Going home and taking a shower,” falling asleep with a bottle of something strong.

“Do you… see someone?” 

“Are you about to ask me for dating advice? Because I don’t date. I don’t want to talk about dating either.” 

“No, just wondering. The Cat’s are throwing a party at headquarters,” he adjusts the angle of the drone camera. 

“A party?”

“A celebration I guess.”

“You don’t seem the type to enjoy celebrations.”

“I don’t,” Kodzuken shrugs. Kei’s really confused as to why they’re having this conversation. 

“So don’t go then or do you need an excuse not to?” Kei checks his watch to see how long he’s been in position. He got injured on his last mission and his knee tends to tense up when he keeps it in one place for too long. The physical therapist says that it should be fine in a couple of weeks as long as he follows instructions. 

“I’m going to go. You could come too.” 

“I don’t do parties. What are you guys even celebrating anyway?” 

“Our lead agent is coming back.” 

“Yokai-senpai?”

“No, Yokai is second in command. Pita is our boss. He’s been undercover.” 

“Pita? Talk about a shitty codename. I’ve never heard of him.”

“He’s been gone a long time. That’s why we’re celebrating.”

“Well, have fun with that.” 

“You could come.” 

“Definitely not.” He shifts his leg just enough to relieve the pressure on his knee.

“We’ve got movement,” Kodzuken moves the drone into position. Kei prepares himself then takes his shot. They move after that, getting off the roof and out of the country as quickly as they can. Kei has to practically drag Kodzuken a few times to get him to move fast enough. 

He goes back to his empty apartment when the mission is done. He sits alone in the armchair that once belonged to someone else and he drinks until he stops seeing the blood on his hands. 


	5. Chapter 5

Work is easy for Kei, his fake work. Not his real job. He enjoys spending his time in the warehouses and the archives. He studies the fossils and prepares for the new exhibits. Get’s to just sit in his office and read research journals and study dinosaurs. He’s come to like it, the break from his missions and the quiet of the work. He’s always enjoyed studying and when he’s worn out from a mission and trying to keep his mind busy he can always find something at the museum. 

The museum after hours is even nicer. He wanders through the exhibits, takes his time to look at them without the annoyance of other people or children making noise and causing him to rush. He runs into a few of his coworkers but no one else. The Futabasaurus has always been his favorite exhibit. He runs his finger over the plaque as he reads the information for probably the millionth time.

“Well, somehow this doesn’t surprise me,” Kei can hear the grin in the familiar voice. He freezes in place, he thinks briefly that if he just walks away without turning around he could just pretend he didn’t hear it. If only that’d actually work. Kei turns around to face him. 

Kuroo stands there with that damned Chesire grin on his face. Kei considers punching him. He knows the other man could take it. He looks casual in jeans and a tight black t-shirt under his red bomber jacket. He looks different but so much the same. He’s gotten tan and there’s a new scar on his eyebrow, stubble on his chin. Kei considered hugging him.

“That makes one of us,” The ring feels hot against Kei’s skin. He’s still wearing his tie, the ring shouldn’t be visible at all at least. 

“Kei-” 

“No,” Kei’s going to walk away, he has to walk away. It’s been nearly two years. Kuroo’s been gone for as long as they had dated. “No, we’re not doing this.” He needs to walk away. Kuroo catches his arm before he can take his first step. 

“Let’s get coffee,” Kuroo says. 

“No,” Kei needs to pull his arm free, it feels like it’s burning where Kuroo’s hand rests. He can’t be here. Kei is strong. He’s strong now and he doesn’t need anyone else. He doesn’t need Kuroo around. 

“Kei, take a breath,” Kuroo brings his other hand up and cups Kei’s cheek, his thumb stroking gently. “You’re panicking and I need you to breathe. Just breathe for me, babe.” 

Kei isn’t panicking. He doesn’t panic anymore, He knows how to control himself. Knows how to regulate his breathing, keep a straight face, control his emotions. Kuroo’s hand on his cheek is a familiar feeling. He counts his breath, gets himself back under control. He’s stronger than this. 

“That’s it. That’s good Kei,” Kuroo smiles, a real genuine smile that crinkles the corner of his eyes. Kei missed that smile. “Fuck Kei, it’s been too long.” Kuroo leans closer and presses their lips together. Kei’s brain stops, and his heart flips in his chest. He grabs a hold of Kuroo’s shirt but he’s not sure if he should push him back or pull him in. The feeling of Kuroo’s lips on his is so familiar. It’s like coming home. Kuroo’s arm wraps around his waist and his other hand tangles in Kei’s hair just like he always used to. He kisses back because that’s what he’s always done. Because it’s been nearly two years since someone has kissed him.

Two years. Kei’s brain catches up to what’s happening and he pulls away. He meets Kuroo’s gaze and they both stand there, still so close together, catching their breath. Two years of silence. Kei glances around to make sure none of his coworkers are in the room and then he punches Kuroo in the stomach, making him stumble back doubled over in pain. Kei adjusts his clothing and glares. 

“Fuck you,” He looks around the room once more. It’s only a matter of time before one of the security guards or the janitorial staff finds them. Kei grabs Kuroo’s jacket and drags him back to the warehouse and then shoves him against a wall. “How the hell did you even get in here.” 

“I told the security guard I was your fiance and I wanted to surprise you,” Kuroo gives him a weak smile. Kei wonders if he should punch him again.

“You’re not my fiance. You stopped being my fiance two years when you left. With no warning, no information. You packed up your shit and you left me. You don’t get to just show up at my workplace and pretend like none of that happened.” Kei shoves him again, just to make sure the point gets across. He grips the fabric of Kuroo’s jacket tightly to make sure he can’t get away either. 

“I know Kei. I’m sorry. I…” Kuroo holds onto Kei’s wrist. “I freaked out. I know that wasn’t fair to you. I know you deserve better. I just saw you standing by that same stupid dinosaur that you always dragged me to see and I… I had to kiss you.” 

“Two years Kuroo. Not a single word for two fucking years.” 

“I… I wanted to Kei. God did I want to,” Kuroo cups his hand over the back of Kei’s neck and tugs him closer. It’s Kuroo, it’s the one person he’d ever let himself really open up to. He’s spent two years wishing that this man would come back, that he’d never left. Kei drops his head onto his shoulder. “I didn’t want to go, Kei but I had to. I’m back now. I’m not going to leave like that again. I’m not going to leave you again.” 

“But you did Kuroo. You left me,” Kei wraps his arms around Kuroo’s waist and clings to him. “You promised to stay and you left.” Kuroo holds him tightly. 

“I’m sorry Kei. I’m so sorry. I’ve got you now. I’m not going to let go.” he presses a kiss to Kei’s temple and strokes his fingers through his hair. “I’ve got you.’

“I can’t Kuroo. I can’t do this again,” Kei shakes his head. He needs to pull away. He needs to get away, needs to think, needs to breathe air that doesn’t smell like the cologne Kuroo’s always worn. 

“Please Kei?” 

“No, no I can’t,” Kei puts his hands on Kuroo’s chest and moves him back. He takes a breath and remembers his training, shuts down his emotions, erases them from his expression and his body language. Blinks away the tears that want to fall. “I can’t trust you again Kuroo. It’s not going to happen. Get out of here before security has to throw you out.” Kei walks away. Because that’s what he has to do. He promised himself that he wouldn’t let anyone into his life the way he’d let Kuroo in back then. He definitely couldn’t let Kuroo back. No matter how strong he’s gotten he can’t handle being left behind again. He wouldn’t be able to handle the lies he’d need to tell. 

Kei leaves without looking back. He goes back to his apartment and it’s not until he’s inside and hidden from the world that he lets his mask crack. He leans back against the door and presses his hand to his mouth as a sob breaks free of his chest. He’s angry and hurt and he doesn’t know if he should be yelling or crying. He wants to feel nothing. He doesn’t want to feel the ghost of Kuroo’s lips against his and or the smell of Kuroo’s cologne on his own clothes. Kei slides to the ground, he takes his glasses off and rests his head against his knees. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Kuroo wasn’t supposed to come back and how could he just act like nothing had happened. Like it was still okay to kiss him. Kei hates how much he wanted that kiss though, he hates how much he’d wanted more. What was wrong with him? He wasn’t the same person that he’d been when Kuroo left. He was stronger, he’d learned how to handle himself. How to control his emotions. How to not feel. 

It was shock. It had to be the shock of the situation. Kei hadn’t been paying attention to his surroundings. That must be the problem. He must have been more zoned out than he thought. He hadn’t heard anyone else enter the room and he had definitely never expected that person to be Kuroo. 

Kuroo, fuck Kei has no idea how to process this. What are you supposed to say to your ex-fiance when he just shows up after two years of being ghosted. Kei should have punched him again. He gets up from the floor and kicks off his shoes as he heads into the bedroom. He changes quickly into his workout clothes then leaves the apartment again before it starts to feel too empty. 

He considers getting his car but in the end he decides to run. He’s got all this energy building up inside him now. The gym is closed when he gets there but Kei knows that Iwaizumi lives in the back. He bangs on the door for a few minutes until it opens. Iwaizumi is wearing just his gym shorts and he looks seriously pissed for a moment before he takes in Kei’s appearance.

“What’s wrong?” He asks. 

“I need to train,” Kei pushes past him into the gym. 

“Tsukishima wait,” Iwaizumi follows him. Kei’s slightly surprised to see Oikawa walking out of the back office but also somehow not surprised at all. 

“I need to move. I need to train or something. I’m... “ Kei takes deep breaths then turns around to face Iwaizumi. “He’s back. He just showed up acting like nothing happened.” 

“Oh,” Iwaizumi sighs and scratches the back of his head. “You need to fight.” 

“That would be fucking great.” 

“Oh, he swears!” Oikawa says excitedly as he plops himself down onto a bench.

“I am not in the mood Oikawa,” Kei goes to his locker and starts to tape up his hands. 

“Iwa-chan are you going to fight Megane-kun? He’s sure pissy,” Oikawa crosses one leg over the other and props his head on his hand. 

“Shut up Shittykawa. He’s going through a thing,” Kei kicks his shoes off and steps onto the mat. He watches Iwaizumi tape up his own hands. 

“What thing?” 

“The ring thing now shut up,” Iwaizumi throws the tape at him and then steps onto the mat as well. Kei feels the ring hanging around his neck, he wonders why he still wears it. Why did he take it out of the box? Why didn’t he just throw it away or pawn it or hide it? He takes the necklace off and throws it to Oikawa who catches it easily. Then he waits until Iwaizumi nods at him and then they fight. 

He doesn’t know how long they go for. How many rounds he loses. He doesn’t feel the exhaustion or the pain. He knows that he’s stressing his knee more than he’s supposed to but it feels so good to move, to not think, to just let his instincts take over. They’re both left laying on the mat too exhausted to keep going. 

“Fuck, I’m getting old.” Iwaizumi grumbles. “Do you feel better?” 

“No. But I feel like I can sleep now at least,” He’ll need to ice his leg. 

“Is that all you guys have?” Oikawa stands between them holding out water bottles. Iwaizumi sits up and takes one. Kei watches the way his fingers brush against Oikawa’s hand. 

“Are you guys married?” He asks. They both freeze for a moment and then start laughing. Iwaizumi takes a swing at Oikawa but the brunette hops back out of the way. “Is that a no then?” Kei raises his eyebrow. 

“We’re basically married,” Iwaizumi says it like it’s a burden. Oikawa plops down onto his lap and tosses the other water bottle at Kei. 

“Don’t worry about it Megane-kun. Don’t worry about this either,” He holds out the ring. Kei stares at it. He should let it go. Let Oikawa get rid of it for him. Forget about it, forget about Kuroo. Kei takes the ring and hangs it back around his neck. 

“I’ve got enough to worry about without figuring you guys out too,” He gets to his feet and stretches, assessing which parts of him hurt. He’ll bruise up but nothing actually injured. Iwaizumi always pulls his punches. 

“Are you leaving now?” Oikawa asks, “Cause we were in the middle of something when you so rudely interrupted.” 

“Gross,” Kei gets a towel from his locker and wipes his face. He figures his knee will hold up for the jog home. He wishes his apartment had a bathtub. The apartment he and Kuroo lived in had a huge tub. Kei had loved soaking in it. 

“What’s the diagnosis on your knee?” Oikawa asks. 

“Nothing serious. It’ll be fine in a few weeks.” 

“Follow the physical therapist's instructions. I’m not letting you in the gym again until you get an all-clear.” 

“Yes trainer,” Kei shoves his things back in his locker and then heads out. He walks home instead of jogging so that he doesn’t upset the knee anymore. He feels better now than he did before. He’ll go home and ice his knee and then he’ll sleep until work. 

He wakes up the next morning thoroughly regretting the workout. Iwaizumi might have made sure not to really damage anything but he had no qualms about leaving bruises. Kei wraps his knee properly before getting up from his bed and getting dressed for work. He takes longer to get ready than usual so he skips breakfast and decides to drive to work instead of taking the train. 

There’s an insulated coffee mug and a take out container sitting on the desk in his office. Kei stands in the door and stares at it. None of his coworkers like him, they wouldn’t bring him anything. He walks into the office and picks up the mug. He takes a sip of the coffee, it's the salted caramel latte he’s always gotten. He knows that it came from his favorite coffee shop, which means that he knows what’s in the take out container too. Kei opens it and sighs when he sees the strawberry cream cheese danish. 

“I figured the cafe was too much out of your way for you to be able to ever go. Thought you might have missed it,” Kuroo leans in the doorway with that stupid grin on his face. 

“I’m calling security,” Kei sits down in his chair and ignores the pain as he reaches for his desk phone. Kuroo moves into the room and catches his hand.

“What happened?” He asks, lifting Kei’s hand to look at the bruises on his knuckles. Kei tries to pull his hand away but Kuroo doesn’t let go. He pushes Kei’s sweater sleeve up to reveal another bruise.

“Nothing, leave now.” 

“You were fighting,” Kuroo makes sure the desk is clear and then sits on it. He rolls Kei’s sleeve up carefully. “Does the other guy look worse at least?” 

“No, he’s made of steel.”

“Ah look you do still have a sense of humor,” He grins, his fingers tracing gently over one of the bruises. Kei watches him, he needs to pull away and kick Kuroo out. He’s going to. He really is. His body hurts and Kuroo’s touch is warm. Kei should have known better. He swore off relationships of any kind once Kuroo left. Denied himself any sort of touch that didn’t come from a fight or a medical professional. He wanted to be touched so badly. 

“Kuroo you need to leave. I have to get to work,” He says. Kuroo lets out a long sigh then leans forward and presses his lips to his forehead.

“Take it easy today. Stay at your desk. Let your body heal. I’ll bring you lunch,” Kuroo stands up and kisses the top of his head, and then leaves before Kei can argue. He takes a deep breath and leans back in his chair, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. He needs to get rid of Kuroo and needs to figure out how to do that quickly before he gets any weaker. He sits up straight and fixes his glasses then eats the danish while he starts his work. 

Kei should report him to security. They’ll keep Kuroo out of the building. He won’t be able to come back into the offices anymore, won’t be able to surprise Kei with any of his favorite foods or gentle touches. He doesn’t tell security anything. Kuroo comes right around lunchtime just like he said he would. 

“So I picked up that salad you used to like, I assume that your taste buds haven’t changed since I was gone,” Kuroo puts two take out containers on the desk and opens them both. He forks some of the salad on to his own plate then slides the salad over to Kei. Just the right amount of food. 

“You’re not supposed to be here,” Kei tells him. He picks up a fork and eats. 

“I told you I was coming.”

“This is harassment.”

“Persistence.” 

“Annoyance.” 

“Charming.” 

“Kuroo just stop this. Don’t show up, don’t bring me things, or make excuses. You chose to leave me. You chose to hurt me. So I’m the one making the choices now. We can’t go back to the way we were. I won’t go back,” He said it. Kuroo has to understand. 

“Then we don’t go back,” Kuroo leans across the desk and puts his hand over Kei’s. “We can start over. As… Friends, or whatever you want.” Kei looks at their hands, there’s a scar on the back of Kuroo’s hand. It’s new, Kei wants to know how he got it, where he was, who he was with if he got it treated like he’s always telling Kei to do. 

“Friends?” He moves his hand from under Kuroo’s and runs a finger over the scar. “How did you get this?” 

“A dig site in Scotland. Some intern was trying to show off with a chisel,” Kei should stop there, but he reaches up and slides his finger over the scar through Kuroo’s eyebrow. He doesn’t need to ask this time. “Oktoberfest. I slipped on some spilled beer and bashed my head on the corner of a table.” 

“That was stupid,” Kei mutters. He slides his finger over the scar again then moves Kuroo’s bangs aside so he can see his whole face. He looks for any other differences. There’s a sadness in his eyes now. Kei wonders why it’s there, why is Kuroo sad now when he was the one who made the decision to leave. Did he think that Kei would just welcome him back with open arms after having his heart shattered? Kuroo’s eyes drop closed and he leans his head into Kei’s hand. Kei doesn’t pull away, he holds Kuroo’s cheek in his hand. 

“Whatever you want to give me Kei. I’ll take it. Yell at me, hit me, fight me, hate me. But don’t send me away,” Kuroo turns his head and presses a kiss to his palm. “Let me stay.”

“I don’t know if I can give you anything…” Kei sighs and pulls his hand away. “Eat your food.” 

“Should we have dinner at your place tonight?” Kuroo asks as he goes back to eating. Kei stabs a piece of chicken with his fork, he doesn’t understand why he’s so weak when it comes to Kuroo.

“I’m not cooking anything,” He sighs. He keeps his gaze focused on his salad but he can practically feel Kuroo’s smile anyway. 

“I don’t mind cooking.” 

Kuroo leaves when they’re both done with their food. He’s got a shopping list and Kei’s apartment key with him when he goes. 


	6. Chapter 6

Kei needs a break. It’s been four days of constant Kuroo. He brings breakfast and lunch to the museum and stays to eat with him and he shows up at the apartment every night, bringing take-out food or groceries to cook. Kei probably hasn’t eaten this well since the training facility. Kuroo is just like his old self, he teases and he makes jokes and he definitely flirts despite his insistence that he can handle just being friends. Kei knows that he could send him away. He knows that If he told Kuroo not to touch him the other man would respect that. But he doesn’t, he can’t. 

The weekends are normally Kei’s days off from the museum. He’ll go on missions more often than not but with his knee still healing he’s stuck at home. Which means he’s still there Saturday morning when he’s woken up by a knocking on his door. Kei groans and shoves his face into his pillow for a moment before dragging himself out of the bed. He pulls on the knee brace Oikawa had sent him and grabs a hoodie off the floor to slip on as makes his way to the door. 

“I’m coming, I'm coming,” he calls out as he turns off the alarm and unlocks the door. Somehow he’s not surprised to see Kuroo standing there. Kei squints his eyes and wishes he’d grabbed his glasses. 

“Morning Moo-” Kei slams the door in his face before he can get the old nickname out. He counts to thirty before opening the door again.

“Try again,” He says through a yawn. 

“Good morning,” Kei doesn’t need his glasses to know that stupid grin is on Kuroo’s face. 

“There’s nothing good about being awake in the morning on my day off,” He walks over to the couch and faceplants onto it. Kuroo comes into the apartment and closes the door behind him. 

“You were half asleep when I left last night,” Kuroo says on his way to the kitchen. Kei had been tired, but after Kuroo had left he’d ended up staying awake for several more hours staring into nothing and finishing the bottle of whisky. Kei realizes he’d left the bottle out at the same moment that Kuroo calls, “Since when do you drink whisky?” 

“Since I’ve had a reason to,” He calls back, his voice muffled by the couch cushion. It’s a little meaner than he’d meant to be but no one should be expected to be this nice when they don’t need to be awake. 

“I brought you coffee,” Kuroo’s voice is closer now. The couch dips under his weight. Kei lets out a long sigh and then rolls onto his back holding out his hand. Kuroo puts it in his hand. “Is that mine?” 

“Is what?” Kei sits up and scoots away to sip at the latte. Kuroo tugs on the hoodie he’s wearing. Of course, he’d grabbed the stupid red hoodie. 

“Finders keepers,” He swats the other man’s hand away. “Anything left behind was forfeit.” 

“Fine fine, it looks good on you anyway.” 

“Kuroo it is way too early,” Kei tries to glare at him. 

“Glasses?” Kuroo asks. 

“Nightstand,” Kuroo gets up and ruffles his hair as he heads to the bedroom. Kei pulls his knees up and holds the coffee cup with both hands. He tries not to think about his bedroom and Kuroo at the same time. 

“Your bedroom is a mess, do you ever clean?” Kuroo teases as he slips the glasses onto Kei’s face and sits on the couch. 

“On my day off, after sleeping in late,” he’s thinking about hitting him again. Being able to see helps him wake up a bit though. “Why are you here?” 

“Because I want to be,” Kuroo rests his hand gently on Kei’s knee. “What happened here?”

“I hurt it at the gym. It’s not bad but Oikawa insisted the brace would be better than just wrapping it,” Kei shrugs and stretches the leg out, resting it across the other man’s lap. Kuroo glances at him for permission and then removes the brace. He examines the injury and then gently massages it. Kei closes his eyes and lets his head drop against the back of the couch. 

“Don’t you have anything better to do than hang around me?” he asks, Kuroo’s hands hesitate for just a moment and then continue. 

“I’m staying at a capsule hotel right now so there’s really no reason to hang around there.” 

“Why are you staying at a capsule hotel?” he opens his eyes. 

“It’s been a few weeks since I had a proper job. I’m watching my savings for now. I’ve got interviews lined up for a couple of universities.” 

“You’re going back to teaching?” Kei feels like he could melt into the couch. 

“Yeah, I figure I should hold off on finding a place to live until I know where I’m working.” 

“Are you angling for something?” 

“What would I be angling for?” Kuroo grins at him and Kei knows that he’s walked into a trap. 

“You can’t stay here Kuroo. Not after everything,” Kei pulls his leg away and sits up straight so he can effectively glare at him. 

“I know Kei, I wasn’t asking that.” 

“Tsukishima.” 

“What?”

“I need you to call me Tsukishima,” Kei puts the brace back on and gets up from the couch. He needs space, he needs a break. He hears his phone ringing in the bedroom and goes to get it. There’s no number showing up on his caller ID. Kei knows what that means and he’s grateful for it. He answers the call. He has a new mission. 

“Does this mean you don’t want breakfast?” Kuroo calls from the living room. Kei puts his phone into his pocket and goes back out. Kuroo is lounging on the couch with his own coffee. He looks right at home in Kei’s space. 

“Don’t touch my food,” he warns him. Kei goes to the table by the front door and opens one of the drawers. He digs around for a moment before finding what he’s looking for.

“What’s up?” Kuroo is watching him over the back of the couch. Kei tosses the spare key over to him, Kuroo’s eyes widen and he nearly falls off the couch scrambling to catch it. 

“I’m leaving on a business trip tomorrow. It was supposed to be next week but they’ve just moved it up. You can house sit until I come back.” 

“Wait really?” 

“Don’t make me regret it. Clean up after yourself. Don’t go through my belongings,” Sleep on the couch. Kei needs to tell him to sleep on the couch because the idea of Kuroo here in the apartment sleeping in Kei’s bed is too much. The idea of coming back to a bed that smells like Kuroo’s stupid cologne. 

“How long will you be gone?” 

“I don’t know, a few days. Maybe a week,” The longer the better, Kei won’t have the details of the mission until tomorrow. 

“That’s so long,” Kuroo pouts. “I don’t want you to go.”

“Yeah, that feeling sucks,” Kei goes to the kitchen to see what he brought for breakfast. 

Kei gets up early the next morning to leave. His bag is always packed so he doesn’t need to worry about it. Normally he’d make himself something to eat before leaving but Kuroo is sleeping on his couch already. He’d barely been able to sleep last night knowing that he’s so close. Kei had wanted him to leave the apartment and he’d wanted him to come sleep in the bed. He’s confused, conflicted. He needs the space in order to process all of this. 

Kuroo’s still sleeping soundly when Kei leaves his room. He stops beside the couch and looks down at him. In the dim light coming in through the windows, he can’t see much, but he can see enough to know that the older man is sleeping in just a pair of sweatpants. Kei kneels beside the couch. His chest feels tight and he just wants so much. Too much. 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Kuroo mumbles, he’s always been a heavy sleeper so Kei is surprised that he even noticed. He won’t be fully awake for a while though. 

“I’m leaving now,” he tells himself that Kuroo will think this was just a dream if he remembers it at all when he wakes up. He lets himself be weak for just a moment. “You’re going to be here when I get back aren’t you?” Kuroo smiles gently, reaching out to brush his hand against Kei’s cheek. 

“I’m not going anywhere Kei. I’ll be right here when you come back,” Kei leans into his touch. 

“Go sleep in the bed,” He holds Kuroo’s hand to his cheek. 

“Come back soon,” Kuroo’s thumb slides over his lips. Kei is weak. He leans down and presses a kiss to the corner of Kuroo’s lips. 

“Soon,” He stands up and forces himself to leave then. Because if he doesn’t then he’ll never be able to. 

The mission is supposed to be a simple one but Kei struggles with it more than he ever has before. He can’t shut himself off the way he normally does. He can’t stop thinking. Can’t stop imagining Kuroo in his apartment. Making himself at home in his space. He can’t stop thinking about his promise to come home. The danger is bigger, even a slight injury would keep him away longer. He nearly messes up. Nearly gets caught on his way out of the building. 

He left to clear his head but by the time he makes it back to headquarters he’s even more confused about what he wants. Can he trust Kuroo again? He wants to. He really wants to. He wants to let himself be weak, he wants to let himself rely on someone else. But what if it happens again? Could he survive if Kuroo leaves him again? 

It’s nearly three in the morning by the time he’s finished his debriefing at headquarters and gets back to the apartment. Kuroo’s sneakers are laying in the entryway and Kei’s never been so relieved to see a pair of shoes in his life. He drops his bag on the floor and kicks his own shoes off then makes his way into the apartment. Even in the dark, he can see that the apartment is spotless. There’s a book sitting on the end table next to the armchair and a laptop sitting on the coffee table. Kei drops his jacket on the couch and goes to the bedroom. 

He slips into the room and closes the door behind him. He thought that he’d shut it lightly but Kuroo shoots up straight and stares at him with wide eyes. He’s breathing heavily and looks like he’s either about to run or fight. 

“Bad dream?” he asks softly. Kuroo’s body relaxes and he takes a deep breath as he runs his hand through his hair.

“Kei,” there’s pain in his voice. 

“Can… Can I sleep with you?” Kei asks, “I mean here in the bed and not…” 

“Can I hold you?” 

“Yeah… That’d be good, I just need to change and then… yeah,” He steps into the closet and quickly changes into a clean t-shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms. 

“How was the trip?” Kuroo asks. Kei touches the ring around his neck and wonders if he should leave it on or not.

“Dull,” He makes sure it’s tucked into his shirt then steps back into the bedroom and climbs into the bed. Kuroo wraps his arm around his waist and pulls him close. “Glasses Kuroo,” he warns. 

“I know, I know,” he takes Kei’s glasses and leans over him to lay them on the nightstand. It’s such a familiar gesture that it makes Kei’s chest hurt. He wraps his arms around the other man and pulls him down. Kuroo lands on top of him with a laugh. He returns the hug and presses his face to Kei’s neck, practically breathing him in. “I missed you.”

“I’m back,” Kei whispers. Kuroo squeezes him tighter in response. 

Kei doesn’t remember the last time he fell asleep sober, especially after a mission but Kuroo’s weight is comforting and he doesn’t want to move. He slows his breathing to match the other man’s and soon he falls asleep as well. 


	7. Chapter 7

The morning comes and Kei wakes up still tangled together with Kuroo. He knows it was a mistake. Knows that he should have slept on the couch, or kicked Kuroo to the couch but he hadn’t. He’d climbed into the bed with him and now he was awake and they were still together and Kei doesn’t want to move. He wants to slide his fingers through the disaster of black hair and press kisses to his tanned skin. 

“You’re less pointy now,” Kuroo’s voice is rough with sleep.

“When was I pointy?” He gives in to the urge and slides his fingers through his hair. Kuroo hums and presses his face against Kei’s neck. 

“When we met. You were a beanpole. All your bones hurt me when I slept on you,” Kei pretends he doesn’t feel Kuroo’s lips brushing against his skin. 

“I’m still skinny now,” he moves his fingers through Kuroo’s hair in a way he knew the older man had always loved.

“Mm yeah but now you’ve got all this muscle. You’re hard instead of pointy,” Kuroo grins and slides his hand over Kei’s stomach. He wishes that his shirt wasn’t in the way, and then he wishes that he hadn’t thought about that while they’re still so close together. 

“Kuroo,” he puts his hand on Kuroo’s to keep it from wandering anymore. 

“Sorry, Ke… Tsukki,” he can feel Kuroo’s grin falter for a second. 

“Oh god, not that again. Is saying Tsukishima really so hard?” Kuroo’s hand is still trying to creep up, Kei has to force himself to push him away. The ring is cold against his skin, he shouldn’t have worn it to bed. It could have slipped out of his shirt at any point while they were sleeping. Kuroo clings like an octopus when he sleeps, he’d know exactly what it was if he felt it through the thin fabric of Kei’s sleep shirt. 

“Too long. Tsukki is more fun to say,” Kuroo props himself up on his elbows and looks down at him. “Breakfast?” 

“Yes, bacon and eggs,” Kei shoves him towards the edge of the bed. Kuroo flashes that grin at him again.

“I’ve got ingredients for something even better,” He leans down to whisper in Kei’s ear. “Belgian waffles with strawberry topping and whipped cream.” 

“Fuck yes,” Kei could kiss him, wants to kiss him. Will definitely not kiss him. He shoves him off the bed. “Why are you not cooking yet?” Kuroo laughs as he gets up and wanders out of the room. Kei watches him go then pulls a pillow over his face. Four days was not enough of a break. He hasn’t even been back for ten hours and he’s already in deep again. Kei gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom. He thinks about how much he misses having a tub as he takes his shower. 

The house smells amazing when he gets out. He dresses quickly and makes sure the ring is tucked in before heading to the kitchen. Kuroo has music playing softly from his phone and he’s putting the finishing touches on the food. Kei leans against the counter and watches him. 

“Coffee is ready,” Kuroo pulls a mug from the cabinet and holds it out. 

“Strawberry,” Kei takes the mug and turns around to fill it from the coffee pot. When he turns back around Kuroo is holding out a large cut strawberry. Kei bites it and goes to sit at the table. They don’t talk much as they eat, Kei’s not even sure what to say. He’d told Kuroo he could house sit until Kei got back. He’s back now so Kei should tell him to leave. Should send him back to staying at a hotel. He needs to set boundaries, needs to stick to them. Needs to keep space between them because Kei is weak. He’s weak and he can’t control himself when Kuroo is around. 

“You wanted to come back?” Kei asks, staring at his plate and watching as the juice from one of the strawberries bleeds into some whipped cream. 

“I did,” he can feel Kuroo’s gaze on him, studying him. 

“Why did you wait so long?” 

“Because I was weak. I was too weak to… Come back and face what an idiot I’d been,” His foot bumps against Kei’s beneath the table and stays there. 

“I loved you, I trusted you and you left me,” Kei grips his fork tighter. 

“I know. I love you Tsukki, I never wanted to hurt you.”

“It still hurts. It never stopped hurting. I just want… I don’t know what I want. I can’t trust you Kuroo. I didn’t… I couldn’t handle it last time. I spiraled out and… If Iwaizumi hadn’t stopped me I don’t know what would have happened. If you,” Kei takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “I can’t trust you again Kuroo. I can’t.” 

“I understand Kei, I know what I did. I don’t deserve to be here,” Kuroo holds out his hand and Kei takes it, despite his better judgment. “If you want me to leave I’ll go, If you want me to stay I’ll stay. Whatever you need from me.”

“I don’t even know if I want to punch you or kiss you right now Kuroo. I’m angry. I’m angry and I’m hurt and I missed you so fucking much.” 

“Kei,” He strokes his thumb over the back of Kei’s hand gently. 

“Just… just shut up,” Kei glares at him. “Shut up and kiss me and then call Iwaizumi and tell him we’re going to need the gym later because apparently, one punch wasn’t enough.” Kuroo doesn’t hesitate. He gets up and moves around the table, he holds Kei’s face in his hands and kisses him. Kei grabs his shirt to keep him close and kisses him back, it’s desperate and messy and Kei is sure there are tears but he doesn’t know if they’re his or Kuroo’s or maybe both. 

They wait until the gym is closed that evening to go. Iwaizumi is expecting them this time at least. The door is unlocked so they can go inside without waiting. Iwaizumi sits on a bench watching Oikawa as he works out. It’s the first time Kei has ever seen the brunette shorts. He wears a white knee brace and Kei can see angry red scars sticking out. He looks away before Oikawa can notice. 

“Stop right there,” Iwaizumi calls out to them. Kei sticks his hands in his pockets and waits. 

“Have you been medically cleared?” Oikawa asks. 

“I’ve been cleared for light exercise. I’ll keep off my left leg.” 

“I need to see the papers,” the brunette puts down the weights he was holding and takes his towel from beside Iwaizumi, he eyes both of them.

“I had my physical therapist email it to you already,” Kei glances at Kuroo then goes to his locker. He sees Kuroo and Iwaizumi talking and he wonders what it is about. 

“You two had sex,” Oikawa pops up behind Kei suddenly making him jump. For someone who hasn’t been in the field in a long time, he’s still skilled at making himself hard to see. 

“We didn’t have sex,” Kei stares into his locker and tries to ignore him. 

“You almost had sex then, right?” 

“I’m not discussing my relationship with you,” Kei takes out his tape and hands to the other man. Oikawa takes it with a pout but he helps tape up his hands anyway. 

“You might be cleared but I think you should wait a while before you kick your man’s ass.” 

“Would you? If Iwaizumi disappeared for two years with no word?” 

“I’d kick his ass the second I saw him, but you’ve made it a few weeks already,” Oikawa drops his hand and starts on the other. 

“I punched him when he showed up at the museum,” Kei glances across the room at Kuroo. He looks different than before, he’s wearing sweatpants and a tank top, and Kei was surprised to realize that he has a lot less muscle than Kei was used to seeing him with. He must not have worked out as much while he was gone. 

“Well just take it easy alright. You don’t want to cause any further injury,” Oikawa pats Kei on the cheek and smiles sweetly at him. Kei knows that it’s a lie. He glances at Kuroo once more to make sure that he’s not paying attention before he slips the chain from around his neck. 

“I’m not going to hurt him, I’d have to cook for myself again.” He puts the ring in Oikawa’s hand. “Hold this, don’t let him see it.” 

“Did you guys talk at all?” Oikawa examines the ring and cleans it a bit with his shirt before putting it in his pocket. 

“As much as I can stand to for now… He stayed at my apartment while I was working. We talked a bit this morning but then,” Kei sighs and swaps his glasses out. 

“You had sex.”

“We didn’t have sex.”

“You almost had sex.” 

“We kissed.”

“It was totally more than kissing,” Oikawa pats him on the back, “Have fun beating up your fiance.” 

“I will,” Kei slips his shoes off and steps onto the mat. 

“Do I get a kiss before you try and kick my ass?” he’s got that damn Chesire grin again and Kei is glad that he has an excuse to punch him. 

“No, I hate your face right now,” Kei swings at him, and Kuroo steps to the side easily. 

“You didn’t hate my face earlier,” he says as he sidesteps another punch. 

“You gave me strawberries,” they circle the mat, watching each other and trying to find an opening. Kei studies him closely. Sparing with Kuroo has always been fun, more flirting than fighting really. It’s different now that Kei isn’t new to it anymore. It seems that Kuroo is out of practice. Kei finds himself pulling his punches and he ends up the first two rounds. When he manages to pin Kuroo again after the third round he knows it's time to stop. 

“This is lame,” He says getting to his feet and holding out his hands. Kuroo takes them and Kei pulls him up. 

“Do I get a kiss now?” 

“Out of pity, I suppose. You’re clearly too old to keep up,” Kuroo wraps his arm around Kei’s neck and presses a kiss to his cheek. 

“I’ll stick with that for now, because anything else and I’ll want to show you exactly how good I can keep up with you,” He whispers before pulling away and going to sit on a bench and take the tape off his hands. Kei watches him closely. Something is off. He was too emotional before to notice it but he can see it now, the way Kuroo carries himself and how he favors his left arm even though he’s right handed

“What’s wrong with you?” he demands. Kuroo looks up at him. 

“What?” 

“What. Is. Wrong?” 

“I’m fine Tsukki.” 

“Tetsu.” 

“That is so unfair. That should be illegal. I’m fine. I had some health issues while I was in South America,” Kuroo takes his hand and pulls him closer. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was nothing serious. Like a bad flu or something. I hung out in a hospital for a few weeks and then they let me go.” 

“What about your arm? What’s wrong with your right arm?”

“I dislocated my shoulder. Some idiot intern at the hospital missed it so it’s just a little tender still.” 

“You should have told me.” 

“It was nothing, Tsukki.” 

“You let me hit you,” Kei lifts his chin so he’s forced to meet his gaze. “You can’t keep things from me. I can’t handle lies.” 

“No lies Kei. I was sick for five weeks. I was hospitalized and bedridden for most of it. It took me a while to get my strength back. I fell when I first got sick and it caused the dislocated shoulder.”

“You should have called me,” he leans down and rests his forehead against Kuroo’s. ‘I would have come.”

“I was scared,” he admits, “I thought that if I called and you said no then that was just… that would be the end.”

“You’re a moron.”

“I am.”

“I would have come. I’d hate you probably, but I would have been there.” 

“I know. I know that now. I love you Kei. I love you.” Kuroo closes his eyes. 

“Stop making me emotional in the gym. Oikawa is going to give me shit for weeks and he’s already the most annoying person in the world,” he moves back and clears his throat a bit. He’s cried enough for one day. 

“Sorry babe,” Kuroo grins up at him with misty eyes. Kei kisses his forehead quickly then goes to find where Oikawa went so he can get his ring back. 


	8. Chapter 8

Kei adjusts his cuffs and looks at himself in the mirror. He hates wearing suits and the tux is a thousand times worse. His hair is slicked back with a gross amount of gel to control his curls. Kei hates how it feels. He’s traded his glasses for contacts and his eyes itch. He really just wants to go home but the only way to do that is to get through this fiasco quickly and efficiently. 

“How do I look!?” Chibi-chan yells as he spins around. He’s wearing the uniform of the catering company, he’s been working with them for a few weeks now to prepare for tonight. His hair is the same mess as always and Kei doesn’t understand why he had to do anything to his own.

“Like an idiot,” King mutters, shoving Chibi-chan away from the mirror to straighten his bowtie.

“No fighting children,” Mr. Refreshing scolds. It’s not often that they get a job like this. Instead of destroying or stealing or hunting, they’re protecting. The whole team is being used for this except for Samurai, The Guardian Deity, and the director who have been undercover for about two weeks now. 

Kodzuken slips into the room as quietly as he can and stands next to their communication equipment. Beauty will be going into the field this time so they’ve borrowed Kodzuken to run things from behind the scenes. Kei moves around Chibi-chan and the King’s bickering to collect his equipment. 

“Is your team this loud?” He asks as he picks up a pair of cufflinks and puts them on. Kodzuken raises his eyes and looks around the room.

“Sometimes. Mohawk and Titan can be annoying.” Kodzuken sighs in annoyance and ties his hair back as he makes adjustments to one of the watches.

“How do your team leaders handle it?”

“Pita is good at keeping the peace. Yokai-senpai just beats them up,” he can feel Kodzuken’s eyes on him. 

“So it must be more peaceful now, right? You said that Pita had returned.”

“He’s not back to work yet. He’s still recovering… I thought you’d know that” Kodzuken’s golden eyes are studying him. It makes him a bit uncomfortable. “Oh, I see.”

“You see what?” 

“Nothing,” he grabs Kei’s sleeve and puts one of the watches on him then makes sure it works. 

"Why did you think I'd know?"

"I thought you were smart."

“You’re annoying.”

“Yeah, probably,” Kodzuken grabs a few pieces of equipment and shuffles off to try and get Chibi-chan and the King ready. 

Kei leans against a wall and resists the urge to touch his hair. Most of the team will be arriving at the site early to blend with the event staff. The captain is the only one who will be with the target. It’d be suspicious if it had no visible security. Kei, Mr. Refreshing, and Beauty will be arriving later on posing as party guests. Mr. Refreshing’s hair has been dyed brown to hide his usual distinctive silver and he wears a perfectly tailored grey tux. Beauty wears a sleek gold dress cut low in the back. Her tattoo has been covered with makeup. 

The party is ridiculously elaborate. There’s a full orchestra and food Kei can barely pronounce. He speaks with a perfect British accent and Beauty holds his arm as they move through the crowds, mingling, and dancing. Pretending they belong in this place, that they’re a normal couple. Kei carries himself with confidence and a sense of calm that he does not feel. 

“Megane-kun, Beauty move to the southwest corner on the dance floor,” Captain’s voice comes through their earpieces. Kei smiles at Beauty.

“Darling, would you like to dance?” he asks as he offers her his hand. Beauty smiles back at him as she takes his hand. They weave through the crowd to the side of the building. Kei keeps his face towards Beauty as they dance but his eyes scan the building, watching for any sign of a threat to the target. He knows that Beauty does the same. 

He can see Chibi-chan weaving through the crowd with a silver tray in hand. Mr. Refreshing is surrounded by older women and Kei is sure that they’re moments away from pinching his cheeks. The king is with the orchestra playing violin. Kei tries to stay focused on the mission, on protecting the target, keeping track of his teammates. He is trying his best but his mind keeps drifting, back to his apartment in Tokyo that’s usually so empty. He knows Kuroo is there waiting for him to come home. If he gets injured on this mission it will keep him away longer, he’ll have to lie about how he got injured. 

He sees something on the other side of the room, something that stands out to him but it’s only there for a second, and then it’s gone. Kei knows that he needs to keep his mind on what’s happening. He can’t think about what comes after. 

He needs to focus.

Focus.

Focus.

Focus.

The gunshots are unexpected. Kei hesitates too much, he feels pain in his shoulder. Then he’s moving. Kei pulls Beauty with him, shielding her. His vest and jacket are bulletproof, but Beauty’s dress isn’t. It’s his job to protect her. His shoulder should just be bruised, that will be easy enough to hide when he gets home. Kei curses to himself as he and Beauty take cover behind a pillar. He needs to focus. There are more gunshots, there’s screaming and panicking and they need to make sure the target makes it out of this mess in one piece. Kei needs to get out of this in one piece.

Bullets hit the pillar, little shards of concrete fly through the air. Kei shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over Beauty’s shoulders. They have a plan. They planned for every contingency. Kei pulls his gun from its holster and moves into the crowd. He watches everything, Sees his teammates, the target, the enemy. He sees Freckles with a panicked look on his face and he sees the gun aimed at him. Kei needs to focus. His vision goes red. 

Kei wakes up with a start. The room he’s in is dimly lit and smells like cleaning supplies. He recognizes it as a hospital room at the headquarters. He feels around for his glasses and finds them resting on the table beside his bed. He slips them on and is surprised to find that he’s not alone in the room. The Voice is sitting on the couch on the side of the room, there’s another man there as well sleeping with his head on the Voice’s lap and a jacket over his head. 

“Voice?” Kei’s throat is dry. 

“Ah, you’re awake. I’d get up but I don’t want to disturb this one. He doesn’t sleep often,” Voice rests his hand on the man’s shoulder. 

“Who is it?” He always feels uncomfortable around Voice. His impassive face never changes and it’s impossible to read him. 

“A jackal now, but he was once an Owl like me,” The jackals are one of the elite teams. Long time agents that have been picked. Kei had never met any of them before, but he’d heard that they’re picked for being ruthless. He’d heard that they’re practically killing machines. He wonders which one is hidden beneath the jacket. 

“Am I injured?” Kei shifts and tries to judge for himself. His shoulder hurts and he’s got a headache but everything else seems fine. He doesn’t remember how he got back here.

“Superficial wounds only.”

“That’s good,” He stares down at his hands, sure that he can see the blood on them again. If he’d been seriously injured he would have had to lie to Kuroo about why he needed to stay away longer, or how he got injured. How would he explain away a gunshot? What about if he died on a mission? Fukurodani would send a cleanup crew to his apartment. They’d pack away all his belongings and lie to his job. No one would ever know the truth. Kuroo would never know the truth.

“You’re panicking,” Voice says. Kei forces himself to focus on the other man. He notes the wrinkles in his clothes and the book resting on the back of the couch. The sleeping man shifts and strands of white hair stick out from under the jacket before the Voice adjusts it to cover him again.

“How did I get here?” 

“Captain knocked you out. You saw one of your team members injured and went into a rage. Captain had to knock you out to proceed with the extraction.” 

“Shit.” 

“It’s alright Megane-kun, you are not the first agent that it’s happened to. You care about your teammates.”

“Is Freckles alright? Someone was about to shoot him… I remember that.” 

“He’s injured but he’ll live.”

“Can I see him?” 

“He’s been taken to a proper hospital so his family can visit him while he recovers from the mugging. I’ll give you the details when you’re released in the morning.” 

“Isn’t our talking going to wake him up?” Kei asks as he eyes the sleeping man again. 

“No, he won’t wake unless I move.” 

“He must trust you.” 

“Yes, I expect that he does,” The corner of Voice’s lip twitches upwards and it’s the first time that Kei has ever seen him even hint at emotion. 

“You’re going to stay here until he wakes up then?” 

“I will, yes. I hope that it’s not an inconvenience for you.”

“No, it’s fine. I sleep better when I’m not alone.” Kei slips his glasses off and sets them back on the nightstand. He lays back down and closes his eyes.

“Do you have someone to watch over you while you sleep?” 

“For now, I don’t know if it’ll last.”

“Why not?” 

“I’m not sure I can trust him yet.” 

“Sometimes loving is easier than trusting,” Voice admits. Kei reaches onto the nightstand and clicks the light off. He hears the shifting of fabric.

“Kaashi?” Kei assumes that it came from the sleeping man.

“Shh sleep longer,” Voice says gently. There’s a hum of consent and then silence. He wonders again who the sleeping man is. The Voice always seems so emotionless, it’s odd to think of him having a relationship of any kind with another person, but something about the way that he held himself so still and that he was willing to sit on that couch all night gave Kei the feeling that whoever the sleeper was that he and The Voice had a very strong relationship. Kei falls asleep to the sound of their breathing. 

The Voice and the sleeping man are gone when a doctor wakes Kei up in the morning. He wonders why The Voice had been in his room in the first place. He was the go between for the agency heads. He didn’t often mingle with the teams except to relay information to them. Kei doesn’t really pay attention to the doctor. He folds up the instructions he’s given and shoves them into his pocket along with an ointment for the welt on his shoulder. 

He’s still exhausted by the time he makes it home. He wants a drink and he wants a bath and he wants to sleep. When he walks into the apartment Kuroo grins at him from the armchair. He’s wearing the red hoodie that Kei had claimed as his own. Kei drops his bag on the floor and shrugs off his jacket before walking over and dropping himself onto the other man’s lap. 

“Welcome home,” Kuroo’s grin widens as he wraps his arms around Kei’s waist. 

“I want a bathtub,” Kei mumbles, hiding his face against Kuroo’s neck. 

“You’ll have to settle for a shower for now,” Kuroo chuckles and slides his fingers through Kei’s hair. “You smell like a hospital. You okay?” 

“My friend was mugged. I stopped by to check on him,” he wonders how many lies that is now. 

“Is he gonna be okay?” 

“He’s injured but he’ll live,” Kei takes a deep breath before sitting up. 

“That’s good. You look exhausted,” Kuroo’s hand cups his cheek and Kei leans into it. 

“I didn’t sleep well while I was gone,” he admits. 

“Me neither, bed’s too big for one person.” 

“I’m gonna take a shower and then pass out,” Kei has to fight a yawn as he stands up, he hates how hard it is to pull himself away. 

“I could help you,” Kuroo offers. Kei’s pretty sure his heart stops for a moment. He wants that but there’s a giant red welt on his shoulder and a tattoo between his shoulder blades. He’s too tired to tell lies about both of those things.

“That’s… I think it’s too soon for that,” He twists his fingers for a moment, “After my shower though, I’m going to nap if you want to lay with me.” 

“A nap sounds good to me,” Kuroo stands up and presses a kiss to Kei’s forehead. “I did the laundry, I’ll put some pajamas and a towel in there for you.” Kei leans into him for just a moment then heads to the bathroom.

“No peeking in the shower,” he warns before closing the bathroom door behind himself. He can hear Kuroo’s laughter and can’t help but smile as he gets undressed and steps into the shower. It feels good to come home to another person, to be able to borrow someone else’s strength for just a moment. Kei stands under the water and closes his eyes, feels the pain of the water against his shoulder. He’ll have to be careful, keep Kuroo from seeing it or touching it too much really. 

“I’m really good at washing hair,” Kuroo calls out. Kei startles and glares through the glass of the shower door. 

“Don’t you dare come in here, I’ll kick your ass,” he warns. Kuroo laughs as he sits on the counter. 

“How about I stay right here and keep you from falling asleep standing up.”

“Am I that tired?” Kei leans against the shower wall. He thinks he might be that tired. The sleep he got in the hospital hadn’t done a lot for him. He hates sleeping alone, how had he gotten so used to having Kuroo beside him in such a short time?

“Well, you sat on my lap. In the past, you only did that willingly if you were exhausted or sad.”

“I’m bigger than you, it’s awkward.”

“You’re taller than me, not bigger than me.”

“I’m bigger than you now, I’m not a string bean anymore.” 

“You are all muscly. Not that I’ve been able to see that much.”

“I’m not letting you into this shower,” Kei grabs the shampoo and tries to wash the hospital smell and leftover gel from his hair. 

“Are you hiding something from me Kei?” 

“What?” 

“I don’t know… and I know I have no right to ask you for anything but I’m just worried about you. You’ve been wearing a lot more clothes than usual and I’m not sure if that’s just because you’re trying to keep some distance between us,” Kei reaches up and touches the ring where it hangs around his neck. He takes a deep breath. 

“I went drinking with Oikawa and Iwaizumi and ended up getting a stupid tattoo on my back,” lie. 

“You have a tattoo? What is it? Can I see?” Kei can hear Kuroo hop off the counter.

“I don’t even know what it is. I was drunk and picked from some book. It’s between my shoulder blades so I can’t see it.” 

“So do I get to see it?” 

“Hand me a towel,” Kei turns off the shower then opens the door and holds his hand out. Kuroo hands it over. Kei dries himself off then wraps the towel around his waist before stepping out. Kuroo’s eyes lock onto the ring right away and his mouth opens. Kei looks away and chews his lip. 

“That’s,” He steps forward and lifts the ring. “That’s your engagement ring.” 

“Yeah, it is.” 

“You’re… You’re wearing the ring. Have you been wearing it this whole time?” 

“I took it off when you left… when I figured out you weren’t coming back… but after a few weeks, I put it on the chain. I’ve worn it since,” he admits. Kuroo wraps Kei in a tight hug. 

“You’re wearing my ring, I saw the box in your desk and I thought…”

“I thought about getting rid of it. Considered throwing it out or selling it but… I didn’t want to let it go. I wanted to keep it close. I wanted to… keep you close.”

“God Kei. I love you so much. I love you,” Kuroo moves him back and holds Kei’s head with both hands. He presses kisses all over his face. Kei can’t help the laugh that slips past his lips as he tries to free himself. 

“Kuroo, come on,” he complains. 

“I love you, Kei.” 

“Kuroo,” Kei puts his hand on the other man’s chest to keep some distance between them. He’s still only wearing the towel. “There’s one other thing.” 

“What’s that?” 

“I um… I was with my friend when he was mugged,” lie.

“What happened? Why didn't you tell me sooner?” 

“My shoulder was bruised.” 

“Let me see,” Kuroo turns him around and takes a deep breath, “Jesus Tsukki that looks… That’s your tattoo?” 

“It’s somewhere back there. I got some ointment to put on the bruise, do you think you can help?” 

“Yeah sure,” Kuroo’s fingers run gently over the bruises on his shoulders. “What did this?” 

“A rubber bullet apparently,” Lie.

“What the hell did you get into?” 

“Made the mistake of walking back to the hotel after the party," lie.

“You’re always attracting trouble,” Kuroo presses a gentle kiss to Kei’s shoulder. “Where’s the ointment?” 

“Most likely in my coat pocket still.” 

“Get dressed, I’ll go find it.” Kuroo’s lips brush against his neck and then he slips out of the bathroom. Kei can feel how red his face is as he pulls on the pajamas that Kuroo had set out for him. He goes to the bedroom and falls face first onto the bed. It feels good to be back in his own bed, to know that Kuroo is in just the next room. It’s a relief but he also feels the guilt gnawing at him. Four lies, four new lies in the short time since he came home. How many more will he have to tell. 


	9. Chapter 9

Hospitals have always made Kei uncomfortable. He remembers being a child and standing at the foot of his grandmother’s hospital bed watching as she faded away. She’d been kind to him, told him that he was special. Listened to him talk about dinosaurs for hours. His parents forgot him at the hospital and he stood there and watched as she faded away. Hospitals have made him uncomfortable ever since. Still, he sits in the plastic chair beside Freckles' bed and waits while the cheerful man chats with a nurse. 

“I’m surprised you came to visit me,” Freckles says once she’s gone. 

“They gave me your information. I thought it would be proper.” 

“You can call me Yamaguchi here.”

“You have a family still?” 

“Yes, just my mother.” 

‘I’m Tsukishima if you want,” Kei crosses one leg over the other and tugs on the sleeve of his hoodie. 

“Nice to meet you Tsukishima,” Yamaguchi smiles. “Is that your real name?”

“I don’t have a family anymore. My name doesn’t matter.” 

“Oh, sorry Tsukishima…” Yamaguchi. scratches the back of his head, “Um you’d gotten injured too right?” 

“Just my shoulder… I told my…” He doesn’t know what Kuroo is yet, “I told Kuroo that I was with you when I got mugged.” 

“Who’s Kuroo?” 

“He used to be my fiance, it’s a long story. But He’s staying with me right now so I had to tell him something about my shoulder,” Kei fixes his glasses. 

“You don’t like lying to him, I hate lying to my mom too. She’s my best friend, you know? So when I have to lie I feel really guilty.”

“Why did you join? If you’ve got your mom?” 

“Why did you join if you’ve got a fiance?” 

“I didn’t have him when I joined. He left me, took off to travel the world or something without telling me he was going.” 

“And you’re letting him live with you now?” Yamaguchi’s head tilts a bit as he regards Kei. 

“Yes. Why did you join?” 

“The money, for my mom. We never had money when I was growing up but she gave me everything I wanted. So now I can give her things. She thinks an old teacher left the bookstore to me, that all the money comes from it.” 

“Lying is hard. When I signed up for this I didn’t think I’d have to lie about it to anyone. I didn’t have family or friends. I didn’t think I’d ever connect with anyone again.” Kei twists his fingers together and frowns. 

“We’re friends,” Yamaguchi says softly. 

“We aren’t supposed to be.”

“Are you thinking of me as Freckles or Yamaguchi right now?” he asks.

“Does that matter?” 

“Yep definitely. Cause you told me your name was Tsukishima and I stopped thinking of you as Megane-kun and started thinking of you as Tsukishima. Cause I think we’re friends. I want us to be at least.” 

“Yamaguchi. You can… You can call me Tsukki if you want. I never had real friends. But when Kuroo and I became friends he called me Tsukki.” 

“Alright, Tsukki. Let’s be friends from now on then,” Yamaguchi holds out his hand with a smile on his face. Kei eyes his hand for a moment before reaching out to take it. He needs someone that he can tell the truth to. Someone that can know everything and will listen to him. Kei isn’t sure how good of a friend he’ll be able to be but at least he’ll have someone while it lasts. 

“How long are you going to be in here for?” Kei pulls his hand away and twists his fingers together. 

“Another week probably. My mom is totally freaking out. I had to get rid of my wallet and all my cards and stuff.” 

“I need to get back to work… but when you’re out we could… do something.” Kei frowns, he’s not even sure what normal friends do. He only sees Iwaizumi at the gym and Kuroo was never just a friend. 

“We’ll get coffee!” Yamaguchi says cheerfully. Kei nods and stands up, he straightens his shirt a bit then gives him a small wave before heading out of the hospital room. He’s had too much of the hospital for one day. 

There’s a bento box waiting for him on his desk when he gets back to the hospital and Kei hates how much it makes his heart race, hates the smile that tugs at his lips as he reads the note warning him not to skip lunch. Kei had promised himself when he took this job that he wasn’t going to get attached to anyone else. He wasn’t going to make friends or fall in love. Now he’s living with Kuroo again, falling more and more in love with him by the day. Now he was making friends and making plans. Now he was living in lies. 

Kei sits down at his desk and opens the bento. He eats as he reads a file that had come in while he was gone. There’s a new exhibit coming up and he needs to approve some of the displays. He wants to go take a look at them before they get put out. He wants to make sure everything is right. A knock on his office door startles him out of his thoughts. He looks up and is surprised to find The Voice standing there.

“You…”   
“Good afternoon Tsukishima-san. I’m Akaashi Keiji. May I come in?” He asks. Kei nods and puts the file and his lunch away. The Voice comes into the room, closing the door behind himself then sits in one of the chairs on the other side of Kei’s desk. 

“What brings you here, Akaashi-san?” Kei’s never seen him outside of the headquarters before. Even there he’s never seen much of him. There’s something that he’s missing, some reason that The Voice has visited him personally twice now. 

“Did you see Yamaguchi-san today?” He asks. 

“Yes I just visited him at the hospital, he seems to be doing fine.” 

“That’s good. Do you remember what happened on the last mission?” The Voice asks. Kei frowns at him. 

“What’s going on Akaashi-san? You don’t make personal visits especially not outside of headquarters. So something happened between Yamaguchi getting shot and me waking up in the hospital that has you concerned. I’d prefer it if you’d be straightforward with me. I don’t think either of us likes small talk,” Kei leans back in his chair. The Voice’s lip twitches upward for just a second.

“You’re right Tsukishima-san. I apologize,” Voice folds his hand on his lap. “The mission was a failure. Your team had a plan in place in the case of a large-scale attack like the one that took place and a good portion of your team failed to follow protocol.” 

“I don’t remember any of that. Everyone was where they should have been where my memory ends… You said that I went into a rage? What does that mean actually?” 

“Do you really want to know?” 

“You make all of us have regular therapy appointments. I’ve always assumed that what we say there isn’t confidential. So you know about my nightmares and you know that I drink more than I should when I’m at home. I’ve accepted the violence of the job. I accept that there are times when I may have to kill people. I’m fine with that. But if I killed someone or I have to fight then I want to be aware of it. I don’t like that I blacked out or that Captain had to restrain me.” 

“It’s good to have a conscience. This job can eat away at people. It’s why we screen potential agents for so long to make sure that they’re going to be able to handle it. We started watching you while you were in high school.” 

“And then waited until after my fiance left me to recruit me,” Kei raises an eyebrow.

“We waited until the end of your education. It just happened to coincide with your fiance leaving.”

“Was Iwaizumi watching me?” It’s something he’s always wondered about. Kuroo had introduced them but Iwaizumi had sought him out after he was gone. 

“He wasn’t, you meeting him was unplanned. Though it worked out for us. It gave us a chance to see more of your skills. Iwaizumi extending his friendship to you was genuine I’m sure.”

“I see…” 

“We’ve gone back to small talk. Do you want to discuss the mission?”

“Yes, sorry.”

“You weren’t the only one who broke protocol. Chibi-chan and Buddha were both out of position as well. No one stuck around to see the full outcome. According to the captain’s report, you took down several people. He called for the retreat and you didn’t stop. Mr. Refreshing got the target out and The captain restrained you. I don’t think you could tell the difference between friend and foe. The King and Chibi-chan removed Freckles from the building and then the captain knocked you out.”

“I’m in for a lecture from him then… will this affect my next mission?” He just got cleared after his knee injury, he doesn’t want to return to medical leave.

“You’re going to be assisting another team on your next mission. With an agent that’s experienced moments like that. I suggest that you ask him how to handle it in the future.”

“My next mission has been decided already?” It’s not normal to get advanced notice. 

“You’ll get the call in three days' time. The mission should take about ten days,” The Voice reaches into his bag and removes some papers. “I’ve prepared some next of kin forms for you.”

“Next of kin?” Kei takes the offered papers and looks them over.

“You turned them down when you were at the training facility. Whoever you list will be notified if something happens to you on a mission,” The Voice explains. 

“What will he be told?” 

“It will be a lie. Something to correspond with your injuries and whatever reasons were given for your absence,” Kei knew it would be a lie. What would be better? A lie or nothing at all? If he died on a mission then it would be like he just vanished. Could he leave Kuroo behind the way Kuroo had left him? Kei picks up a pen and fills out the form. A lie is better than nothing at all. 

“Kuroo Tetsurou, my... He's the closest thing I have to family,” Kei hands the paper back. The Voice takes it and looks at him almost curiously. 

“Kuroo Tetsurou. I’ll add it to your file,” The Voice stands up then and puts the papers into his bag. “Have a good day Tsukishima-san.”

“Thank you, Akaashi-san.” Kei stands up as well and walks The Voice out of his office. Kei feels odd about the whole visit but he knows he made the right choice. He’s felt the pain of being left behind. He won’t do that to Kuroo. 

In the end, Kei doesn’t go look at the exhibits. He leaves early and heads back to the apartment. He considers texting Kuroo to let him know but he’s kind of curious as to what the other man does all day when he’s not home. What he doesn’t expect is to see that there are two pairs of Kuroo’s ugly purple tennis shoes in the entryway and he can hear two excited voices coming from the living room. Kei slips off his shoes and sets down his bag quietly before entering the apartment. 

The living room is occupied by Kuroo and a man with weirdly spiked white and black hair. They’re both bouncing excitedly on the couch and playing what looks like Mario kart on his TV. They argue about the game and try to push each other off the couch. Neither of them has noticed Kei yet and he considers just slipping out of the apartment but then Kuroo is laughing and as much as Kei hates that stupid hyena laugh he doesn’t want it to stop. It makes him want to wrap his arms around the other man. 

He could do it. He’s allowed to touch Kuroo now he’s pretty sure of that. They’ve been sleeping in the same bed and cuddling and kissing. Kei likes all of it and he’s sure Kuroo does too. So he lets himself indulge. He moves to the back of the couch and slides his fingers into Kuroo’s hair, tilting his head back. Kuroo looks surprised at first but then he grins up at Kei.

“Babe I’m gonna lose!” he whines. The white haired man cheers and jumps off the couch as his kart crosses the finish line. 

“Hey hey hey! I’m still the champion!” He yells. Kuroo drops his head onto the back of the couch and curses. 

“You’ll win the next one,” Kei says. He presses a kiss to Kuroo’s head then heads to the bedroom. 

“Wait! Kei come back!” Kuroo calls after him. 

“Changing!” 

“I can help!” 

“Entertain your guest!” Kei takes off his work clothes and listens to the two men bickering over the game as he changes into a pair of shorts and Kuroo’s red hoodie before going back to the living room. 

“Kei come here!” Kuroo holds out his hands. Kei considers him for a moment. 

“Remember your manners and I will.” He goes to the kitchen and gets a water bottle from the fridge then goes back to the living room. 

“Kei this is Bokuto. We used to play volleyball together in high school. He’s been my best bro ever since!” Kuroo says. “Bokuto, this is Tsukishima Kei, the love of my life.” Kei feels his cheeks flush as he sits down in the armchair and picks up the book he’d been reading the day before. 

“I finally get to meet the fabled Tsukki!” Bokuto grins as he leans over holding out his hand. Kei shakes his hand briefly before sitting back and opening his book. 

“I’m fabled?” he asks. 

“Dude, Kuroo never shuts up about you. When we’d travel together before he’d go on and on and on about his totally hot fiance. It got a little annoying. I mean my Kaashi is great but I don’t talk about him that much. Do I?” Bokuto looks at Kuroo with wide eyes. Kei’s heard the name Kaashi before. In the hospital room, the sleeping man had called The Voice that. The Voice who’d introduced himself as Akaashi. 

“You just get kinda starry eyed when you think about him. Totally zone out in the middle of conversations,” Kuroo starts up a new game and offers a third controller to Kei.

“I’ve never played before,” He keeps his eyes focused on his book though he can’t bring himself to read. “You’d have to teach me.” 

“I can teach you!” Bokuto offers excitedly. Kuroo punches his arm.

“I’m gonna teach him. You order us pizza.” 

“You’re the host you’re supposed to treat me,” the white haired man pouts and seems to melt into the couch cushions. 

“You’re my bro you’re supposed to treat me,” Kuroo takes his controller and sets up the game. “Kei come sit with me.”

“Fine fine. No pineapple pizza.” He moves to the couch and sits between the two men. Kuroo wraps an arm around his waist and pulls Kei onto his lap.

“Stay away from Bokuto, he gets too handsy sometimes,” Kuroo rests his head on Kei’s shoulder and puts a controller in his hands. Kei settles back against his chest.

“You didn’t tell me you were going to have a friend over today,” he says.

“I thought he’d be gone before you got home. You have that exhibit coming up so I figured you’d be home later,” Kuroo’s lips brush against his neck. “You’re home early instead.”

“Mhmm, I had a weird meeting today. It annoyed me so I came home. What buttons do I press?” Kei examines the controller.

“Hold the big button to drive, steer with the joystick. Use the triggers to throw items.” Kuroo helps him to choose a character and cart. “What was the weird meeting about?” 

“An antisocial coworker came in person to talk to me about a business trip when he usually just emails or calls,” Kei tries to figure out the game, it’s easier than he expected. Bokuto is staring intently at his phone beside them and Kei is pretty sure he’s struggling to order the pizzas. 

“Another business trip?” Kuroo asks, moving into first place. 

“Unfortunately. One of my colleagues requested I come along,” Kei gets an item that looks like a shell and he wonders what it does. 

“When do you leave? Don’t use that Item.”

“Don’t listen to him Tsukki! It’s a blue shell! Throw it! Throw it now!” Bokuto yells. Kei wants to tell him not to use the nickname but it would probably be considered rude. He uses the item and then smirks as it knocks Kuroo out of first place.

“Damn it Bokuto!” Kuroo tries to hit him and Kei nearly falls out of his lap. 

“Kuroo be careful,” he scolds. “I’ll sit somewhere else.”

“No you have to stay here,” Kuroo adjusts their positions so they’re steadier. 

“I leave in three days. I’ll probably be gone for ten.”

“That’s so long. I refuse to let you go,” 

“What are you gonna do, hold me hostage?” He turns his head to the side and presses a kiss to his cheek. 

“Yes, I’m going to tie you up in the bedroom so you can never leave,” Bokuto makes a gagging sound and plugs his ears. “Shut up Bo I meant it in a nonsexual way. Although…”

“Tetsu shut up,” Kei says elbowing him. “If you hold me hostage then I’ll just have to go on this trip another time and It’ll probably take longer. It’s just ten days. You’ll have the whole apartment to yourself.”

“I don’t want the apartment I want my… I want you.” he can hear the pout in Kuroo’s voice. 

“Bokuto-san your drink seems to be empty, there’s another in the fridge if you want it,” Kei says. Bokuto snickers as he gets up and escapes to the kitchen. Kei puts his controller down and turns to capture Kuroo’s lips in a kiss. He wants more but Bokuto is still in the kitchen so he keeps it chaste and stands up from Kuroo’s lap. “Have fun with your friend. I’m going to take a nap. Save me some pizza?” 

“Anything you want moonshine,” Kuroo grins. 

“That stupid grin,” Kei sighs and leans down to kiss him once again before heading to the bedroom.

“I love you too!” Kuroo calls after him. Kei rolls his eyes and tells himself that he’s not blushing as he gets into bed. He buries his face into the pillows to hide his smile. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one night because I'm still snowed in at work. I miss my own bed. 
> 
> [Tumblr!](https://heyitstaytay21.tumblr.com/)

Undercover work is not something that Kei is fond of. He can do it just as well as any other agent but it’s annoying to have to actually talk to people, to pretend to be someone he’s not. Kei figures that he really should get used to it. How long will it be before his identity is compromised? He’ll have to move and change his now. When that time comes how will he tell Kuroo? Will Kuroo even still be around then?

“Earth to Megane-kun, ya in there?” It turns out that the Jackal that The Voice had wanted Kei to work with was Thing one. They met only an hour ago but Kei was pretty sure he was the most annoying person in the world. He’d heard about Thing one before. He was a fox when he’d first became an agent and had a partner that was called Thing two. Kei’s not sure what happened to Thing two but he’s no longer at the agency and Thing one had been moved to the Jackal team. 

“Yes, I am,” Kei takes off his glasses and puts them in their case. He won’t be wearing them until he returns from this mission. There are several agents in long-term undercover positions and it’s Thing one’s job to check in with them and collect any information they might have. Someone else needs to be brought in now though, if something happens to Thing one then they need another agent with contacts to be able to get to the undercover agents. That will be Kei’s job now. Thing one will introduce him to the contacts and if in the future he can’t get to them Kei will go in his place. 

“Just remember to follow my lead and keep outta my way. Yer basically just gonna be my arm candy this time around. Remember the covers for each location?”

“Yes I memorized the briefing,” Kei resists the urge to roll his eyes. Thing one keeps treating him like he’s fresh out of the training facility. 

“It’s not just about memorizing the briefing. Look this is an important job alright? These agents are my family, two jackals, and three foxes. The Voice says that he thinks you’re right for this so I’m gonna give ya a chance. Try not to blow my cover while we’re in there.”

“I’m not going to blow your cover.” Kei’s already ready for this mission to be over. 

They take a private plane to their first location. Slipping into their roles before they even depart. Kei doesn’t have to say much most of the time. Thing one tells him that his only job is to look pretty and as much as Kei wants to punch him it makes him think of Kuroo who’s always insisting Kei is pretty. They’re traveling between several countries to make all of their meetings. It’s tiring and Kei has to admit that when it comes to keeping track of so many covers it's a little harder than he anticipated. Thing one takes everything in stride though, he’s able to fill in when Kei falters without missing a beat. He’s full of himself and a bit of an asshole but Kei finds that there’s actual advice hidden in his insults. 

They reach their last stop with three days remaining of the mission. Kei wonders if they're going to end it early but Thing one says that the three days will be necessary. The final destination is a hotel in Russia being run by a mafia. They check into their room and before Kei even puts his bag down Thing one is pulling all of the bedding off both of the beds.

“What are you doing?” he asks, moving to the corner of the room to stay out the other man’s way. 

“Cleaning obviously,” Thing one takes a vacuum-sealed bag out of his suitcase and tosses it to Kei. “Make that bed.” 

“Make the bed.” he’s not sure why he’s doing it but Kei unseals the bag and remakes the bed with the clean sheets. He stays out of the way after that as Thing one moves around the room wiping things down with disinfecting wipes. “Why are we doing this?” 

“Omi is particular about things. He’s got to put up with things he doesn’t like while he’s undercover so I try to give him a little break when I come,” Thing one takes two more vacuum-sealed bags out of his suitcase and looks around the room as he sets one on the table. “I’m going to go shower. Omi should be here soon. Don’t make a mess.” 

Kei waits until Thing one has gone into the bathroom then slides out the burner phone that he was given for the mission. His messages from his normal cell phone get forwarded at the end of every day. There are texts from Kuroo and a voicemail. The other man has finally gotten a job and he’s been out with Bokuto all day to buy what he calls professional clothes. Kei is pretty sure he’s going to have to take him shopping again when he gets back if the pictures are anything to go by. Kei listens to make sure the shower is still running before calling him.

“Moonshine!” Kuroo yells as he answers the phone.

“You are way too loud.” 

“Sorry, you just never call when you’re on business trips. I got excited,” Kei can hear that stupid grin even over the phone.

“You said that you got a job. I wanted to check and see if you were going to actually start paying your share of the expenses now,” He wants to ask if Kuroo is going to stay, wants him to know that he’s allowed to stay. He can’t bring himself to say it though.

“I… Yeah. It’s only fair, right? If we’re both living here,” There’s hope in Kuroo’s voice. 

“Fine then, I’ll create a breakdown of the expenses for you when I return,” It doesn’t matter really, someone from the Fukurodani agency’s accounting department makes sure that Kei’s bills are all paid. He has enough money to care for the both of them but Kuroo would find it odd. A museum job shouldn’t pay as much as Kei makes. 

“You really want me to stay?” Kuroo asks. 

“It hasn’t been terrible having you around,” Kei should say no, he should send Kuroo on his way. There’s a part of him just waiting for something to happen, waiting for Kuroo to hurt him again. Waiting for his heart to break. Kei is weak though, he’s weak and he’s desperate to keep Kuroo no matter how much pain it will cause in the end. 

“I’m glad. I didn’t think…” Kuroo’s voice falters and he takes a deep breath. “This job involves a lot of traveling. All of the jobs I applied for do really. I didn’t think you’d let me stay.” 

“I didn’t think you’d come back.” 

“I love you, Kei. If you… If my traveling is too much for you then I’ll turn this job down and find another. One where I don’t have to travel at all. I don’t want to lose you again. I’ll do whatever it takes to stay by your side. Hell, I’ll even be a house husband if that’s what you want,” He laughs at his own joke. Kei’s stomach does something weird at the word husband. They should have been married by now. The date they’d chosen for their wedding had long since passed. 

“When do you need an answer by?” Kei’s fingers tap nervously on the arm of his chair.

“Sooner rather than later,” Kuroo says. Kei resists the urge to rub at his eyes, his contacts are getting dry. With Kei on missions and Kuroo traveling for work, there would probably be few opportunities for them to actually spend time together. But as a professor Kuroo had been restless, going off on random trips at a moment's notice. If he had a job that required him to travel then he’d probably be more likely to spend his free time at home. He’d probably be less likely to get bored and take off again. 

“Take the job if you want it then. We’ll figure the rest out when I get home,” The shower has turned off in the bathroom, Kei knows he should get off the phone soon. 

“You’re sure? You don’t mind me traveling?” 

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. My colleagues are waiting for me, I need to go now. We’ll talk more when I get home.” 

“Is he hotter than me?” Kuroo asks. Thing one comes out of the bathroom then wearing clean clothes and drying his hair with a towel. 

“No, not even close. Don’t burn my apartment down before I get back.”

“I love you too Tsukki,” Kei can hear that grin again. 

“Shut up,” Kei hangs up the phone and puts it back in his bag. When he looks up he sees Thing one watching him. “Problem?”

“You seeing a normie?” 

“A normie?”

“Someone that’s not an agent.” 

“Oh, no he’s just staying with me for now. Do a lot of the agents date each other?” Kei knows that Iwaizumi and Oikawa are a couple and he’s pretty sure that The Voice is seeing the man that had been sleeping on him. 

“You kidding? Half the agency is dating each other. The other half is banging each other. It’s just easier than having to hide all the shit we go through.” 

“What about Mr. Refreshing? He told me once that he was married,” Kei remembers the conversation from his second mission.

“Yeah to yer Captain duh. You think that spaz would keep his position as second in command without some help. Ya date a normie and ya end up like my brother,” Thing one takes a few more things out of his bag and sets them carefully on the dresser. 

“Your brother?” 

“Yes? You think they named us Thing One and Thing Two for the heck of it? Thing Two was my twin brother. But he fell in love and wanted a boring life. He runs an onigiri restaurant now.”

“He just quit? I didn’t think they let us do that.” 

“They don’t, not really. They monitor him. Everything he does, everywhere he goes. I gotta be supervised when I visit him. But he says it’s worth it to be with Suna,” Thing one shrugs. “So ya gonna quit this life for your normie?”

“I’m not sure. I started this because of him. He’s the only family I’ve got and he left me. I never expected him to come back but now he has and I can’t keep him out,” Kei fidgets with his fingers. 

“Oh look you do have some emotions,” Thing one grins at him and leans on the dresser. “Got it bad for him huh?”

“Unfortunately.” Kei makes a face. “What about you? Are you seeing or banging this agent we’re meeting today?” 

“Who says it’s either?” 

“You’ve been carrying around vacuum sealed bedding and clothes for a week. You disinfected the hotel room, shaved, and it looks like you scrubbed your skin practically raw.” 

“Ah yeah… Guess that’s noticeable,” He shrugs, “I’m not sure. I mean, I’m seeing. He might just be banging.” 

“Should I give you guys the room then?” Kei would rather not be around if they were going to be all cuddly. 

“Hell no. Your cover gets blown then so does mine. Until they know ya, you're gonna stick by my side,” There are four precise knocks on the door then and Thing one jumps up straight. He looks in the mirror and straightens out his shirt and fixes his hair for a moment then goes to the door and opens it. The other agent comes into the room without saying a word. Thing one makes sure the door is locked and the deadbolt is secured before picking up the vacuum bag that had been set aside for him. He glances briefly at Kei before disappearing into the bathroom. Thing one drops onto the bed with a long sigh.

“He’s so pretty it’s not fair,” he whines. Kei scoffs and takes out a book. There’s nothing else to do for the moment and clearly Thing one at least is going to be acting like a love struck idiot for the next few hours. 

When the agent comes out of the bathroom he’s dressed in the fresh clothes and wearing a black mask over his face. His hands are shoved in the pockets of the jacket he wears and his shoulders are hunched. 

“Who is he?” He asks, tapping his foot against Thing one’s leg. Thing one sits up with a grin on his face.

“Omi you’re supposed to say hello first,” He scolds.

“Hello, who is he?” 

“He’s Megane-kun. A baby crow I have been tasked with raising. Gotta get a new backup since Kitsune is undercover now.” 

“Captain can’t raise his own babies?” Omi examines the bedding before sitting down next to Thing one. Kei glances up from his book at them. Thing one is leaning back on his elbows looking up at the other agent with practically heart-shaped eyes. Kei has never met Omi before. He’d heard about him from the training facility, he’d refused every single code name the recruiter had tried to give him. He’d been left with the codename blank until they let him pick one on his own. Kei’s not sure where the idea for Omi came from but it’s sure a lot better than any of the other code names he’s heard. 

“Omi Omi, It’ll just be a couple visits with Megane-kun around. I’ll teach him how to clean properly for you,” Thing one smiles brightly while Omi scowls back. Kei focuses on his book again as Omi leans down to whisper something that makes Thing one’s face turn bright red. He’s got a feeling that it’s going to be a long three days. He wishes he could call Kuroo back but has to settle for texting him instead while he pretends that the two agents on the bed aren’t doing some weird form of flirting. 


	11. Chapter 11

_ Kei stands alone in the ballroom. His tux is gone and replaced by jeans and Kuroo’s red hoodie. He puts his hands in the pocket and feels the cold metal of his gun. Then there’s chaos. Hundreds of people in their gowns and suits appear, running for safety. There’s screaming and yelling and Kei is jostled where he stands. He sees them then. Yamaguchi stands facing a shadowy figure, a gun pointed at his head. Kei pushes through the crowd to get to them but the crowd pushes back. Yamaguchi turns to face him, eyes wide and scared.  _

_ “Are ya gonna leave this life for a normie?” The shadowy figure turns into Thing one, a mirror version steps out from behind him. The gun is still pointed forward but Yamaguchi has turned into Kuroo.  _

_ “Lies or love Tsukki?” Kuroo asks. Kei’s heart is racing, he still can’t get to them. He tries to yell out as he reaches for Kuroo but it’s not enough. He can’t get there. He remembers the gun in his pocket and pulls it out but he doesn’t know what to do with it. He’s supposed to have Thing One’s back, how can he shoot him? But if he doesn’t shoot him then he’ll shoot Kuroo. Kei needs to protect Kuroo. He can’t lose him again. He needs Kuroo in his life. Kei points the gun at Thing One. He’s too slow. Thing One’s gun goes off. Kei yells for Kuroo.  _

A hand covers Kei’s mouth and hands hold him down to the bed as he struggles against them. His eyes shoot open and he tries to gasp for air, fighting to free his hands from the hands gripping them. 

“Megane-kun stop. Atsumu, take your hand off his face, he probably can’t breathe,” Omi orders. The hand moves away from Kei’s mouth and he takes deep breaths as he gets his bearings. He’s in the hotel room. Thing one is kneeling next to him on his bed, one hand still pinning his shoulder to the mattress. Omi stands next to the bed holding Kei’s wrists. 

“What the hell Megane-kun,” Thing one sighs and pushes his hair back from his face. “You’re gonna draw too much attention to us with all that screaming.” 

“I’m sorry… I don’t…” Kei tries to catch his breath. “I don’t normally dream.” 

“Are you going to attack us again if I let you go?” Omi asks. Kei nods and the other man lets go of his wrists. Kei sits up against the headboard and looks between the two of them. 

“Sorry,” He wants to speak to Kuroo, he thinks about the time difference with Japan. 

“Who’s Kuroo?” Omi asks. 

“I thought you were dating a normie,” Thing one hops off the bed and yawns. 

“Kuroo’s just… He is a civilian. I’m sorry for waking you both.” Kei gets out of the bed and finds his phone. He can feel the other two agents watching him as he slips into the bathroom and closes the door behind him. He feels bad for waking them, they’d been sound asleep wrapped up together on the other bed when Kei had gone to sleep. He was pretty sure that Thing one had been wrong about Omi just sleeping with him. He sits on the bathroom counter and fidgets with his phone. It’s only around six in Japan. Kuroo will definitely be sleeping still but when Kei closes his eyes he sees Kuroo’s face as the gun goes off. He takes a deep breath then dials Kuroo’s number. 

“Kei?” Kuroo’s voice is deep, rough with sleep. 

“Tetsu,” the relief is almost instant. He needed to hear that Kuroo was alright. 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Where are you?” Kuroo asks.

“I’m okay. I’m fine, I just… I had a nightmare and I wanted to make sure…” He takes a deep breath. “I needed to hear that you were okay. I’m sorry that I woke you.” 

“No no, it’s alright Moonshine. You can wake me up anytime. You know I’m here for you.” 

“Are you at home?” He asks, he wants to keep Kuroo talking. He does feel bad that he’s keeping Kuroo up and the two in the other room can probably hear him talking. 

“Mmm yeah, I’m sleeping on your side of the bed.” 

“You’re always on my side of the bed,” Kei rolls his eyes. 

“Well, when you’re here you’re all warm and cuddly. When you’re not here it smells like you,” he sounds like he’s starting to fall asleep again. 

“What are your plans for today?” 

“Mm figured I’d go see Iwaizumi, then I’ve got some paperwork to fill out for that job. You’re sure you’re okay with me taking it?” 

“Yes, I know you like to travel. You’d go stir crazy if you went back to a normal teaching job or something.” 

“I’d have you, If I need to stay in one place to keep you then I will. You’re more important to me.” 

“We’ll make it work. We’ll figure out our schedules and… maybe look for a place closer to your main office.” 

“You just want a bathtub,” Kuroo says with a tired laugh. Kei closes his eyes and squeezes his phone. Hearing Kuroo’s low laugh in his ear is comforting. 

“One big enough for two maybe,” he teases. 

“Tsukishima Kei shut up. I am too tired to think about taking a bath with you,” Kuroo groans. Kei can’t help but laugh. 

“I’ve been thinking about you in our bed this whole time so we’re even now,” He tugs the ring out of his shirt and fingers the engagement ring. If he went back to wearing it he’d have to be careful not to get a tan line on his finger. He’s not even sure Kuroo would want him to wear it again. Kei was the one that had said he wanted them to start as friends but it was pretty clear now that was going to be impossible. There was too much history between them and Kei wanted too much. The question was do they keep taking it slow or do they start back up where they were before? 

“You’re going to kill me Kei, keeping my hands to myself is hard enough as it is,” Kuroo warns him. 

“Like you’ve tried.” 

“Oh I’ve definitely been trying,” Kei can hear that grin in Kuroo’s voice.

“Well… Maybe when I get back hom-”

“Nope, nope gonna need you to stop right there.” 

“You’re incorrigible. I’m going back to bed, you should too,” Kei slides back off the counter. He hears Kuroo yawn on the other end of the line.

“Stay on the phone,” Kuroo says suddenly. 

“What?” 

“My phones plugged in. Plug yours in, keep it next to you while you sleep. If you have another nightmare I’ll be right here to comfort you.” 

“Kuroo I… My colleagues are sleeping out there. I already feel bad that I woke them up the first time.” 

“You’re sharing a hotel room?”

“Yeah, there was something wrong with the booking so we got stuck together.”

“Should I be jealous?” 

“No, they’re a couple,” this time it’s Kei’s turn to yawn.

“Go lay in bed Kei, I’ll stay quiet.”

“Thank you Kuroo,” Kei slips out of the bathroom and goes back to his bed.

“I love you moonshine. I’d do anything for you.” 

“I thought we were going to be quiet,” Kei whispers as plugs his phone in and gets back into bed. 

“No phone sex!” Thing one warns him. 

“Shut up and go to sleep, both of you,” Omi grumbles. 

“Cranky,” Thing one says. Kei tucks his phone under his ear and closes his eyes. He can hear Kuroo’s soft breathing, the other man’s already fallen back asleep. Kei focuses on the sound and eventually, it lulls him to sleep. 

The light being turned on wakes Kei up sometime later. He lets out a groan and buries his face into the pillow. Thing one and Omi are moving around the room and speaking in low voices. Kei’s phone falls onto the floor and he lets it go. 

“What’s going on?” He asks, rolling over to squint at the other two men. 

“Omi got a message, he’s got to go earlier,” Thing one clearly looks upset by this but Omi’s face is impassive. 

“What’s that mean for us?” Kei sits up and finds his glasses on the nightstand. He’s not ready to put his contacts in yet. 

“Omi omi was our last contact. Since he’s got to pull out early there isn’t much we can do but go ahead back to headquarters early. Turn in the intel we gathered and then I guess we can go home early,” Thing one keeps his eyes on Omi while he talks. It's obvious he doesn’t want to go. 

“I’ll go shower and get ready then,” Kei gets out of bed and grabs his bag, he’ll go hide out in the bathroom for a bit to give them some privacy. He grabs his phone off the floor and freezes when he realizes that there’s still an ongoing call. Kuroo never hung up. Kei quickly disappears into the bathroom and holds the phone to his ear. He can hear the sound of music playing somewhere distantly. “Kuroo?”

“Kei? Hey, hold on a sec!” Kuroo’s voice is distant and then there’s some background noise as the phone is moved. “Morning babe!” Kei turns on the shower and puts the lid down on the toilet before sitting down. 

“Morning, You stayed on the phone the whole time?” He asks.

“Of course. I told you I’d be here if you had another nightmare. I wasn’t gonna hang up until I knew you were awake,” Kuroo says cheerfully. Kei wants to kiss him. 

“Did you hear my colleagues talking a few minutes ago?” The phone wasn’t on speaker, maybe Thing one and Omi had been on the other side of the room. 

“I could hear like distant talking but I’m actually cooking right now so I wasn’t paying too much attention til you said my name.” Kei is an idiot. An absolute idiot. His phone had been on all night, anything could have happened and Kuroo could have heard it. Kuroo could have found out. “Should I have heard something?”

“No no,” Kei sighs and holds his head in his hand. “You make me stupid.” 

“Stupid? How do I make you stupid?” 

“I’m in Berlin. This was an international call. You’re paying the long-distance charges,” Kei stands up and starts to get undressed.

“Oh shit, I forgot about that. Why don’t we split the cost then… Is there a shower running?” 

“Yeah I overslept, I’m about to hop in the shower.”

“Like right this second?”

“I’m hanging up now Kuroo.”

“No, stay on!”

“Nope,” Kei hangs the phone and gets into the shower with a smile. He could have told Kuroo that he was coming home early but it was better to keep it a surprise. If something came up between now and then he’d have to come up with some sort of lie for why it changed. Kei closes his eyes as he washes his hair. He tries not to think about the dream but it’s there in his mind anyway. The look on Kuroo’s face as Thing one pulls the trigger. Blood. There’s always so much blood. Kei’s hands are stained red. He opens his eyes and he gasps for air. The water around his feet turns to blood. Kei’s pretty sure he's going to be sick. He keeps his eyes closed as he rinses the rest of the shampoo out. Then turns off the water as quickly as he can and gets out. He pretends that he doesn’t see pink stains on the towel. 

“Let’s go kid! We got places to be,” Thing one calls through the door. Kei dresses quickly and leaves the bathroom. Omi is already gone and Thing one looks pretty depressed as he checks the room for anything forgotten. 

“I’m ready, let's go,” Kei grabs his bags and tucks the phone deep into it. 

“Do ya think he was mad we didn’t have a chance to do it?” 

“He called you by your name,” Kei points out. 

“What?” 

“Someone recently told me that…” Kei really is bad at stuff like this. “He used your name, not your codename. When I woke up this morning he said ‘Atsumu take your hand off his face” 

“He did?”

“Yes, I have… a teammate. He said that because I was thinking of him by his name instead of his codename that it meant we were friends. Omi probably called you that subconsciously.” 

“Ya think so?” Thing one cheers right up.

“Can we go now?” Kei wants to get home. Their things are gathered and they head out to the airport. Neither of them really speak much on the way there but Thing one seems to just have an aura of happiness about him and Kei wonders if maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. If he’s wrong then he’s just setting the other man up for disappointment. 


	12. Chapter 12

They’re alone on the plane again. Kei’s grateful for it. He never actually took the chance to ask Thing one about what had happened at the ball and Kei knew that The voice would probably ask him about it when they got back. 

“Hey, Thing one?” Kei plays with the cap on his water bottle. 

“Hmm?” he pulls a headphone out of his ear and looks across the aisle at Kei. “Atsumu. Miya Atsumu.” 

“Oh… Tsukishima Kei,” They’re not supposed to do that but Thing one, or Atsumu, doesn’t really seem to be the type to follow the rules. 

“Did you have a question?”

“I’m supposed to ask you about something, I just didn’t want it to interrupt the mission.”

“Ask me something? Says who?”

“The Voice, he came to my office at the museum to talk to me about this mission. He said you might be able to help me.” 

“What? The Voice does not leave headquarters,” Atsumu leans across the aisle. “What was so important?”

“I… During my last mission, I sort of blacked out I guess. Captain had to knock me out to get me out of there. The voice said that… you’d had experiences with things like that. You might be able to help me,” he finishes off the water left in his bottle then tugs nervously at the label.

“Is that what your nightmare was about?”

“Sort of. What did you do?”

“Tsukishima… What do you know about the history of Fukurodani?”

“Nothing really. They don’t tell us anything about it at the training facility.”

“The way things are run now are very different than they were 15 years ago. After what happened with The Castle there was a coup of sorts. Some of the higher up agents took over the board of directors and made huge changes. Fukurodani has only been around for 30 years and they didn’t have much of a reputation at first. They gained their footing in the field by being unique. They had assets that no one else did.”

“What were the assets?”

“Children. Children trained as killers and Spies. Small little devils that could get in and out of anywhere and do any job.” 

“Children…”

“There were seven of us at first. My brother and I were the youngest at six. We all spent four years together at the training facility. The great king and the white night were the oldest at eight. Then there was the black cat and the golden owl; they were both seven. The voice was there when we all arrived. I think he was probably born into Fukurodani. He’s the same age as me I think.”

“How did… I mean you went on missions as a child?” 

“Yeah. There were no rules. They taught us to forget our emotions. They made killing and stealing and lying into games. They drilled routines and protocol into our heads. We stopped being children and we became soldiers.” 

“What happened to the castle?” Kei is almost afraid to ask. He’d never really thought just how young Oikawa and Iwaizumi were. How experienced they’d seemed. 

“The castle was a failed experiment. When the six of us proved to be effective in the field they brought in more kids. Me and Samu were assigned to the foxes, The Black Cat to the cats, the Golden Owl to the owls. But the Great king and the white knight were better than the rest of us. More mature, more hardened. The great king stepped up during our training as a sort of leader to the rest of us. Fukurodani created the castle for him. They have him a team of kids to lead, but they forgot that he was just a kid himself.” Atsumu sits back in his seat and pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. “We were street kids. We had no families except for each other. The great king and the white knight turned their team into a family. They were too emotionally attached. Then Fukurodani sent them into an active warzone. They expected a group of children to be able to fight real soldiers. Nothing they’d been trained for compared to what they experienced out there. A good portion of the team was lost. The Great King blamed himself. They were his team, his responsibility. He would have died out there too if the White Knight hadn’t pulled him out.” 

“How many were lost?” Kei’s almost afraid to ask. He remembers being a kid. Remembers how scared he was at university, surrounded by adults and all alone. How much worse would that fear have been in a war zone?

“Five died. Three permanently injured. One of them, Mad dog, he’s alright physically but something in his mind broke. He lives in the medical wing now. Can only handle limited contact with specific people. They weren’t prepared. They should have never been out there. Coach and Specs were two of the higher-level agents that helped with the coup. They did what they could to help the remainder of the castle and they took everyone under eighteen out of the field. When the board of directors ordered they send us back into the field they gathered support and took over.” Atsumu has a faraway look in his eyes. 

“What about the blackouts?”

“It happened to all of us at one point or another. When we couldn’t handle what was going on around us. You know you have to keep going, you know that your emotions will only get in the way. It’s like leaving your body for a bit. Your body remembers your training and keeps running on autopilot. You have to just forget about it. It’s passed and there’s nothing you can do to change it. Sorry, it ain’t really advice but that’s all any of us were ever able to do.” 

“What about the other kids? The Golden Owl and The Black Cat?” 

“They’re both still agents. Their code names have changed. The Black Cat is Pita now. He leads the Cats. The Golden Owl is Beam Weapon, he’s part of the Jackals with me,” Atsumu closes his eyes but Kei can still see the pain that talking about all of this has brought up. He himself feels like he’s going to be sick just at the idea of forcing kids to kill. 

“The members of the castle that are still around have all been put into behind the scene rolls now. The recruiter and trainer are the obvious ones. The others dropped their code names since they aren’t field agents anymore. Kunimi and Kindaichi both work security at the reception desk. Mattsun works in the medical wing. Yahaba can’t do much anymore since his injury but Mad dog trusts him so he spends most of his time caring for him.”

It’s all a lot to take in. Kei is a full-grown adult and there are times when he can’t handle this job. How could a child handle it? How could a child handle being raised around all that violence? Atsumu seems to know this. He puts his headphones in and sits back against the wall with his legs stretched out and his eyes closed. Kei realizes that he’s made a mess of the water bottle label. 

Kuroo isn’t home when Kei gets there. The apartment is silent, too silent and Kei’s got too much on his mind. He goes to the kitchen and finds the bottle of whiskey that he’s stashed in the kitchen and brings it to the living room along with a glass. He sets them on the table beside the armchair then goes into the bedroom and changes into a pair of sweatpants and one of Kuroo’s hoodies, he avoids the red one on purpose, he goes back to the living room and sits in the chair. It’s too quiet. He turns the tv on and finds some show to put on for background noise then pours himself a drink. 

He’s still there and the bottle is nearly empty by the time Kuroo gets back. The apartment is dark, lit only by the light of the TV. Kuroo kicks his shoes off and comes in yawning. He doesn’t even realize Kei is there until he turns on the living room light. 

“Oh, shit Kei you scared me,” Kuroo puts a hand over his heart and takes a deep breath. “What are you doing home early?” 

“A speaker canceled so the convention ended early,” Kei lies. He can feel Kuroo’s eyes on him, examining him, trying to figure out what’s wrong. Kei sets his glass down and sits up straight. “Can you kiss me?” 

“What?” 

“I need a distraction, I’m too stuck in my head,” Kei needs to stop thinking. Kuroo comes over and places his hands on the arms of the chair, leaning down to press his lips to Kei’s.

“I’ll kiss you whenever you want me to. But right now you’ve been drinking and I’ve got the feeling that you’re going to want more than just kissing and that’s not something we should decide on while you’re intoxicated.” 

“I hate you,” Kei sighs and holds onto Kuroo’s shirt to keep him close.

“I love you too,” Kuroo brushes his lips against Kei’s cheek. “I’ll help distract you but not that way. Go take a long hot shower, I’ll have things set up when you get out.” 

“Set up for what?” 

“You’ll find out after you shower,” Kuroo kisses him one more time then stands up and pulls Kei to his feet. Kei wraps his arms around Kuroo’s neck and hides his face. Kuroo hugs him tight. “It’s alright moonshine. I’ve got you. Whatever’s on your mind, work, or your coworkers or whatever. I’ll support you.” 

“I hate you,” Kei mumbles again. Kuroo laughs and cards his fingers through Kei’s hair.

“I love you too. Go shower, you smell like a bar. Steal more of my clothes if you want and then meet me back here when you’re done.” Kei takes a deep breath then moves back. He looks at Kuroo for a moment and then steps around him to go take his shower. When he’s done showering he has to admit that he does feel a bit better, somewhat soberer at least. He goes to the bedroom and dresses in some of Kuroo’s clothes, they feel more comfortable than his own for some reason. 

The living room has been transformed. The couch and coffee table have been moved aside and a blanket fort has been erected where they used to be. He peeks into the fort and sees that all the leftover blankets and all the pillows from the apartment have been piled up inside. 

“Hey, no sneak peeks,” Kuroo comes into the room with a tray full of snacks and drinks. He shoos Kei away from the opening and sets the tray down. “Do you feel a little better now?”

“I feel clean.”

“You look good in my clothes,” Kuroo grins at him. Kei rolls his eyes. 

“A blanket fort?”

“Exactly. I’m gonna give you comfort and cuddles and we’re going to watch however many Jurassic park movies it takes to help you relax,” Kei has to admit that the idea sounds pretty good. He never got to make a blanket fort as a kid. He watches as Kuroo climbs inside and then pulls the snack tray in. Kei climbs in being careful not to knock anything over. He lays down beside Kuroo and lets the older man tug him closer. He curls himself around Kuroo and rests his head on his chest. Kuroo keeps one arm around his waist and pulls up the first movie. They lay together watching the movie and snacking on the treats that Kuroo had picked out. Kei knows the movies by heart. He’s watched them since he was a child. His brother had let him watch it in the short period of time that they’d gotten along before Kei had skipped grades. 

“What was your childhood like?” Kei asks quietly.

“Hmm?”

“What were you like as a kid?” he tilts his head back to see Kuroo’s face.

“I was a menace,” Kuroo slips his hand up the back of Kei’s shirt and rubs his back soothingly. “I was a foster kid. Lived in a group home for most of my childhood.” 

“You never told me that,” Kei wonders what they never talked about stuff like this before. Kuroo tugs a blanket over the both of them.

“I don’t like to talk about it. It kinda sucked really,” Kuroo’s fingers trace over the tattoo on his back. “I don’t think anyone I know had a good childhood.”

“Good childhoods are probably a myth.” 

“Do you want to talk about what was on your mind earlier?” Kuroo is trying to change the subject, Kei will let him, he knows what it’s like to not want to revisit the past.

“Work is just stressing me out. I didn’t get much sleep while I was away.” Kei reaches over Kuroo and picks up a few pieces of popcorn. He feeds some to Kuroo then eats some himself. 

“Do you like your job?” Kuroo’s fingers trace over the tattoo again. Kei wonders if he even knows he’s doing it.

“Mm, it’s a good job. Keeps my mind active. I just hate dealing with stupid people.” Like people that would use children to fight wars. Kei knows that it happens all around the world but the fact that he works with some of those children now grown-up is odd. Atsumu doesn’t seem to be too affected. Oikawa’s obviously still suffering from his injuries. 

“You could find a different job,” Kuroo suggests. Kei shakes his head. 

“I’ve never been a quitter.”

“No, no you haven’t,” Kuroo sighs and presses a kiss to the top of Kei’s head. “I go back to work next week.” 

“Do you have to travel?”

“Yeah probably, I’ll let you know how long it’ll be for. Keep in touch the whole time I’m gone,” Kuroo sounds nervous. Kei isn’t sure if he’s worried about Kei being upset or if he’s worried about going away. Kei props himself up on an elbow and looks down at the other man. 

“Boyfriend or fiance?” He asks. 

“What?” his voice is confused this time instead of nervous.

“Am I your boyfriend or fiance?” 

“I… You… What?” Kuroo brings a hand up and tugs on the chain around Kei’s neck pulling the ring free from his shirt. “Should I propose again?” 

“Yes,” Kei takes off the chain and hangs it around Kuroo’s neck instead. “After you get back.” 

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Kuroo rolls on top of Kei and kisses him hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really liking this AU. I'm thinking about sticking with it for a while and exploring some of the other ships. Probably Iwaoi next then maybe Sakuatsu or Bokuaka. 
> 
> [Tumblr](https://heyitstaytay21.tumblr.com/)


	13. Chapter 13

“You okay, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asks. They’re sitting at a coffee shop not far from Kei’s apartment. Kuroo had left for his job orientation two days ago and Kei was going a little stir crazy. He’d even asked Captain if anyone had a mission he could take part in but there’d been nothing for him. He decided to hunt for apartments to take his mind off his nerves and since Yamaguchi was released from the hospital a few days ago he’d decided to invite him to come along. 

“I haven’t been sleeping well,” He admits, keeping his gaze on his coffee. The nightmares have been frequent. Even with Kuroo sleeping beside him he’d still woken up screaming a few times. It’d been hard to explain away. Kuroo had even offered to delay his trip but Kei didn’t want to make that big of a deal of it. 

“Me neither really, it’s the first time I’ve ever been injured and I keep remembering my mom’s face when she first saw me in the hospital,” Yamaguchi rips a piece of croissant off and eats it. “How many more apartments are there to look at?” 

“Just one more appointment today,” Kei checks his phone. He’d texted information about each apartment to Kuroo throughout the day and he hadn’t gotten a response yet. Kuroo had been pretty quick to respond up till now. Kei knows that he’s working and it’s normal for him not to respond but each unread message reminds him of the past. 

“Are you sure it’s just the sleep thing?” 

“No…”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“It makes me sound paranoid,” he admits.

“I think it’s basically our jobs to be paranoid,” Yamaguchi points out. Tsukishima scoffs and drinks some of his coffee. 

“Kuroo hasn’t answered my texts today. I guess I’m just more, anxious about him being gone than I thought I would be. It’s stupid when I’ve gone on plenty of business trips since being back with him. But knowing that he’s the one that’s out of town makes me feel like he’s leaving again,” Kei knows that it’s not what’s happening, he knows that. He just can’t seem to calm the anxiety it causes. He needs to be better than this. All of the training he’d gotten to control his emotions was useless. 

“You really love him huh Tsukki,” Yamaguchi has a dopey grin on his face. Kei raises his hand to touch the ring before he remembers that it’s not there anymore. Kuroo took it with him on his business trip.

“I’m afraid to love him but I don’t know if I could actually stop. I think all that training we had to go through with Guess to control our emotions was a waste of time. Kuroo gets into my head and it all goes out the window.” 

“Why don’t you go back?” Yamaguchi asks. 

“To the training facility?” 

“Nah I saw Guess and Ushiwaka at headquarters yesterday. There are no new recruits so they’re there for a bit,” It’s not a bad idea, they’re always encouraged to keep up their training. Kei only really trains with Iwaizumi, the rest of the time he avoids the trainers. Guess especially. He was good at what he did but he got on Kei’s nerves. Kei is pretty sure he gets on everyone's nerves on purpose. The red-haired man seems to enjoy getting under people’s skin. 

“I’ll consider it.” He will but he won’t go in the end. “I think I’ll just go beat up Iwaizumi or something. Let’s go see that last apartment.” He stands up and waits to make sure Yamaguchi does as well before he heads out of the coffee shop and to the apartment complex across the street. He’s glad that he decided to bring Yamaguchi along for this. His friendly demeanor makes the rental agents open right up and he doesn’t seem to mind asking all the questions you’re supposed to ask when looking for an apartment. Kei had let Kuroo take the lead the last time they’d gotten an apartment together and He’d loved the place but he needs to have more control this time because there’s still this little voice in the back of his head telling him not to trust the other man. 

His phone finally goes off as they’re leaving the apartment. Kei’s relieved at first but when he pulls it from his pocket he sees that it’s a number he doesn’t recognize. He motions for Yamaguchi to wait for him as he answers it.

“Hello?”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Tsukki!” Bokuto yells into the phone. Kei considers hanging up.

“Bokuto-san.”

“How’s it going Tsukki? You doing anything today?” Bokuto’s voice is way too loud, Kei has to hold the phone away from his ear.

“Yes, I’m busy looking at apartments. Do you need something?” 

“Oh right so I was talking on the phone with Kuroo and I made him laugh and I think he dropped his phone or something cause it hung up and now it just goes to voicemail and he had said that he was texting you and I thought that maybe you’d be worried cause he stopped answering and I thought that I should tell you that I’m pretty sure he broke his phone.” Bokuto takes a deep breath when he’s done talking. He speaks so fast that Kei’s not sure he caught everything. 

“He broke his phone?” It would explain why the texts stopped. Kei’s not sure he believes it though. There’s just something telling him that Bokuto is lying, maybe it's his training or just his instincts or maybe it's his anxiety. Kei’s not sure. 

“Yep, pretty sure.” It’s his voice, there’s something in Bokuto’s voice that’s different than normal. Kei needs to hear it again.

“What did you say that made him break his phone?” He asks. Bokuto seems thrown off for just a moment but then he starts going on about something that had happened at his job that involved him getting hit in the head by a bunch of boxes. Kei listens closely and it doesn’t take long for him to realize what it is. Bokuto is worried, he’s panicking about something. He’s calling Kei and lying about why Kuroo isn’t texting. 

“You’re a terrible liar Bokuto-san,” He informs him. Kei has never liked playing games. 

“What?!” Bokuto yells. Kei thinks about his earlier suspicions.

“Does Akaashi-san let you get away with telling terrible lies?” He asks. 

“Kaashi never lets me get away with anything,” Bokuto’s pout is audible. Kei was right. Bokuto’s ‘Kaashi’ is actually Akaashi. It’s not a name that Kei’s heard anywhere else besides The Voice. 

“He’s a very serious person. I didn’t think he would.” 

“Kaashi is… You’ve met him?” It’s a risk. Kei’s not supposed to reveal this kind of stuff outside of headquarters. But if he can shock Bokuto enough then maybe he’ll let slip what's going on with Kuroo. 

“He stopped by my office a couple of weeks ago to talk to me about my business trip with Miya-san.” He’s sure now that it was Bokuto who’d been sleeping on The Voice in his hospital room. He’s not that surprised that Bokuto hadn’t realized he was the one in the bed. 

“A… A business trip with Miya? Do you mean Tsum Tsum?”

“Yes with Atsumu-san.” 

“Tsukki are you…” 

“I work at a museum, Bokuto-san.” 

“Oh right… um… I… I have to go,” Bokuto hangs up his phone before Kei can get any more information from him. He sighs in frustration and hangs up his phone. 

“What was that about?” Yamaguchi asks. Kei slips his phone back into his pocket. 

“Bokuto-san is a Jackal. He’s the one that introduced Kuroo to Iwaizumi,” Kei has a lot of suspicions all of a sudden, things he is ready to think about. He pushes them all to the back of his mind and tries to distract himself. He and Yamaguchi wander around for a bit and talk about mundane things. Well, Yamaguchi does the talking mostly. He seems to be able to talk about anything and everything and only requires short occasional responses from Kei. He’s grateful for that. 

The first twenty-four hours without any word from Kuroo is alright. Kei lets himself believe Bokuto’s lie about the broken phone. His number is different than it used to be and Kuroo doesn’t have it memorized yet. He’d reach out if he could but he doesn’t know how. Kei doesn’t use social media so that’s out too. He tells himself that he’ll give Kuroo one of his business cards when he gets back. It has his work email and his office number on it. 

On the second day Kei focuses on his work. He spends hours in the back offices cataloging every artifact and display he can find. He has a video conference with some colleagues from all over the world. He reorganizes all of the files in his office and then he wanders the museum. He ends up standing in front of the Futabasaurus, running his finger over the words of the plaque as he reads it to himself. He knows them by heart. He thinks about how many times he’s stood in that spot with Kuroo. 

Kei doesn’t have work on the third day. He stays in bed for as long as he can and then he spends some time on the computer looking for more apartments. He looks at a few houses too, he’s not sure why. He and Kuroo hadn’t talked about a house at all. It’s more long-term than an apartment. But Kuroo had said that he’d propose again when he got back from his trip. He had Kei’s ring with him. Kei wishes that he hadn’t given it to him. He feels naked without it. 

Kuroo is supposed to be home on the fourth day. Kei pretends that he’s not watching his phone the whole time he’s at work. He’d stuck a paper with his cell number on the entryway table. He figured Kuroo would get home while he was out and would call when he got home. The call never comes. Kei goes home early and he stands in the entryway of the house scanning his eyes over every visible surface. Kuroo’s shoes are not there. Kei looks for anything else that might be missing. All of the signs of Kuroo that had been there this morning when he left. The laptop is gone. Kuroo’s laptop had been on the coffee table. Kei is almost sure of it. There had been a laptop on the coffee table when he’d eaten his breakfast on the couch. Was it his own? He can’t remember. 

He’s panicking, making things up in his head. He knows it. This isn’t like last time. He isn’t even sure the laptop was actually there. Kuroo’s clothes will still be in the closet. Kei doesn’t go check. Because he knows that he’s just panicking over nothing. He’s sure he’d know if Kuroo had been in the apartment at all that day. He’d just have to log into the alarm system app on his phone and he could see if Kuroo’s code had been put in. But he knows that Kuroo didn’t come to get his things so he doesn’t need to check. 

He wakes up screaming on the fifth day. He dreamed of the ballroom again, except this time it was The Voice threatening to shoot Kuroo if Kei didn’t choose. The sun isn’t even up yet but Kei gets himself out of bed and he goes to headquarters. There’s always a trainer in the gym and Kei works with him, practicing disarming an enemy with a weapon. He goes until the trainer says they have to stop and then he goes to the shooting range and shoots until his hands feel numb. The apartment is still empty when he gets home long after the sun has set.

Kei sleeps until late the next day, he wakes up to the sound of his phone ringing in the pocket of the pants he’d been wearing the night before. The cats have requested his assistance on a mission. His head is throbbing and his stomach churns but he’s never been happier to receive a mission than he is right at that moment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr!](https://heyitstaytay21.tumblr.com/)


	14. Chapter 14

Kei and Kodzuken are the first ones to the prep room. They don’t talk as they change into the black tactical clothes that have been left for them. Kei switches his glasses to a pair with a sport strap as Kodzuken ties his two-toned hair in a loose bun. 

“Why is your codename Kodzuken?” Kei asks.

“I chose it. I wasn’t going to let the recruiter leave me with something lame like Megane-kun,” cat-like eyes glance sideways at him. 

“I wasn’t in the mood to fight with that bastard,” Kei sighs and puts on his vest. “Do you know what this mission is?”

“Rescue mission,” he feels those eyes on him again. 

“For who?” Kei looks over the wall of weapons wondering what he’s going to need. 

“Pita,” Kodzuken is studying him, Kei doesn’t even have to turn around to know that. It's a bit unnerving. 

“His first mission back and he manages to get himself into trouble again?” 

“He wasn’t ready to go back out. He’s stubborn though, doesn’t listen to me,” Kodzuken rolls his eyes and turns away to fill his bag with different gadgets. Kei wonders if he’ll be dragging Kodzuken out of the country again when the kid gets too tired. 

Yokai-senpai and the Titan show up in the middle of some kind of argument. Kei wonders if he can bow out of the mission. He’s only worked with The Titan once before and he’d found him to be a complete menace. 

“Sorry we’re late,” Yokai-senpai apologizes. “SOMEONE got lost again. You’ve been in this building a million times you tinhead!” The short man delivers a swift kick to the giant's legs.

“Yakkun, try not to cause any injuries before the mission even starts.” Bokuto is standing in the doorway and Kei is surprised to see him. Not only had he thought the mission was being run by The Cats but Bokuto looks different than Kei has ever seen him before. His usual athletic wear has already been replaced by tight-fitting tactical clothes, and his hair sits flat. The Jackals are one of the top teams. Any time they assist on a mission they take the lead. Kei’s never worked with any of them before and now it’s been two missions in a row. 

“If you don’t want me to injure him then don’t make me work with him,” Yokai-senpai grumbles as he hands a folder to Kei. “You’ve never worked with Pita before. Here’s his file. You’ll need to know what he’s capable of if you’re going to be able to get him out.”

“I’m getting him out?” Kei takes the folder and looks at the label, _‘P.I.T.A’._ He’s surprised to see the acronym. He opens the folder to read the file and almost lets out a chuckle. The agent’s code name is ‘Pain in the ass’ at some point along the way it must have gotten shortened. 

“It fits him right?” Bokuto asks with a grin. For a moment he actually looks like his usual self. Kei frowns at him. 

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never met him.” Most of the file is redacted. Mostly the things from the beginning. Kei remembers that Pita used to be the black cat. He’s one of the kids that Atsumu had mentioned. An agent raised by Fukurodani. Bokuto is one too, Kei wants to ask him about it. He closes the file and looks up to see Bokuto and Kodzuken sharing a strange look. “What’s the plan then?” 

“It needs to be a small mission. Pita’s good at what he does, they won’t have any idea who he is or what he’s there for. Kodzuken will coordinate from a safe spot. We’ve got blueprints of the building that Pita had gotten to us before he went dark. Yakkun and Titan, I’ll need you guys to be a distraction, make it big. Draw as many of them out as you can. Tsukki I’m going to get you into the building, you get to Pita and prepare him to be moved. It’s likely that he’ll be injured. We’re still missing some of the information he went there for. I’m going to get it then meet you at Pita’s location so we can extract him together.” Bokuto lays out the blueprints on the table for all of them to see and goes over the plan with more details. 

It’s like he’s a totally different person now. His face serious, focused on the incredibly well thought out plan. He’s thought of every detail that they need. He’s even accounted for the fact that Titan has a tendency to make mistakes. Kei is confident that Bokuto’s plans will work. Barring any unexpected changes, they should be able to get in and get Pita out in three hours. Kei kind of wishes that the mission would take longer, then he feels bad about that. Pita is another agent. He’s probably injured and he’s probably ready to go home himself. 

“Alright let’s finish getting ready and head out. Tsukki you’ve never met Pita so you’ll need to know what to look for. His tattoo is basically in his left armpit. It’s a cat’s paw with the number one in white ink. Have you got a black light?” Bokuto asks. It’s weird for Kei to hear his name used in the headquarters. Bokuto doesn’t seem to think about the no names rule. Kei had thought that he was just tired when he’d called The Voice by his name in the medical wing but it just seems to be the way he is, he’d called Yokai-senpai, Yakkun as well. 

“Yes, I’ve got it,” Kei checks just in case. 

“It’s not in his armpit,” Yokai-senpai says with an eye roll. “It’s on the fifth rib.” 

“It’s the armpit,” Titan says, he jumps aside to dodge another kick from Yokai-senpai but trips over his own feet and knocks a chair over. Kodzuken shakes his head and moves a bit behind Kei to shield himself as Yokai-senpai scolds Titan. 

“Double check your packs, make sure you have everything that’s listed in your inventory. We’re out in thirty minutes. Tsukki I need to speak to you in private for a moment,” Bokuto slings his arm around Kei’s neck and tugs him from the room before he can protest.

“Beam weapon, I can walk on my own,” he complains. Bokuto pushes him into an empty meeting room and kicks the door closed with his foot. 

“Tsukki!” Just like the Bokuto, he’s used to is back. “Don’t call me Beam weapon. It sounds so boring. You can just call me Bokuto like usual. Oh! Tsum Tsum calls me Bokkun. You can call me that!” 

“No thank you Bokuto-san. What did you want to talk to me about?” 

“This is cool right!? We can all work together now!” 

“I don’t think it will happen often Bokuto-san. I’m at the bottom of the totem pole right now. It’s already strange enough that I was chosen to work with Thing One.” 

“You’ve worked with Tsum Tsum? Ah, I should have brought him in for this mission. He loves causing chaos. Don’t tell him about this. Especially not that it involves Pita. He’ll be pissed,” Bokuto rocks on his feet, a smile on his face.

“You grew up together right?” Kei focuses on his vest, adjusting the strap just a bit and trying to act like he’s not really paying attention.

“Yeah! We grew- wait you aren’t supposed to know that,” Bokuto catches himself quickly and narrows his eyes at Kei. “Why do you know that?”

“I heard some things,” Kei shrugs. “We should get ready to go Bokuto-san. We don’t want to be late.”

“Right, oh wait before we do um… Are you okay? Like, with personal stuff?” Bokuto sticks his hands in his pockets. 

“I’m fine. I don’t let my personal life affect my work life,” It’s been a small issue recently but Kei is sure he can keep it together for this mission. 

“So like…” Bokuto seems to be mulling something over in his head. “I should have talked to you at your place… I didn’t know. I mean I thought, ugh this is hard.”

“What is it Bokuto-san?”

“I can’t tell you here. You said what you said on the phone and I thought that you probably knew and now apparently you don’t, but it’s too late to make changes to the mission, so we’re just going to have to handle things as they come. You’re going to have to handle things.” 

“What are you talking about Bokuto-san?”

“I can’t tell you here.” 

“When we get back then?”

"Yeah totally. You’re gonna have questions and I will answer whatever you want,” Bokuto smiles widely but there’s still worry in his eyes, and Kei is reminded of all the suspicions that he’s had lately but he pushes them back down. He needs to focus on this mission. Bokuto seems to switch back to his serious mode as he receives a message. The plane is ready to take them so they return to the prep room and gather their bags. 

Private jets are really Kei’s preferred way to travel. The cargo planes are his least favorite. He sits strapped into his seat and keeps his eyes closed as he focuses. They’ll be dropping as close to the base as they dare get. Yokai-senpai and Titan will be dropping first. They’ll start their half of things while Kei and Bokuto drop on the opposite side. Kodzuken will set up in the pickup zone. If all goes according to plan they’ll all meet up there with the rescued Pita and get out before anyone really realizes what’s happened.

It’s not the first time that Kei has been on a rescue mission but the last time he’d done it had been a much larger scale operation with most of The Crows team and they’d had more time. Kei pulls on his gloves as the door opens. It’s time to go. Kei stands up with the others and holds a strap hanging from the ceiling to keep his balance. Bokuto comes and stands next to him as Titan and Yokai-senpai make the jump. Kei leans closer to Bokuto and speaks loudly. 

“What am I going to find down there?” He asks. Bokuto grimaces and looks away. 

“Keep your shit together and follow the plan yeah? You find Pita and get him ready to move. We need to get him out,” Bokuto takes a breath and then smiles at Kei. “Ready?”

“I hate jumping,” Kei checks his straps and moves to the door. He jumps when he gets the signal. 

Once they’re on the ground they have to move fast. Kei and Bokuto lose their parachutes quickly and then they’re moving. There’s a lot of ground to cover and every second they take is a second for Yokai-senpai and Titan to get into trouble. Bokuto is quick and efficient once they reach the building. He has them through the door in no time at all and moving down the hallway quietly. It’s quiet, just like they wanted it to be. The distraction seems to have been effective. 

Kodzuken is in their ears. He’s managed to get into the building's security system and he’s got eyes on them. They reach the stairs that lead to the basement and that’s where they need to split up. Bokuto insisted that they still needed the information that Pita had come here for in the first place. Kei slips down the stairs being as quiet as he can. There are six cells in the basement. Each one has a large metal door with a small window. They don’t know which one Pita will be in so Kei has to go slow and check each window closely.

All of the cells are occupied. The prisoners chained in the center with pillowcases over their heads. That’s not something they expected. Kei looks in each of the windows. There was one female and two of the men were the wrong race so Kei was able to rule them out. He looked in the next three cells. He stops at the second to last one. It’s the right one. Kei takes out his tools and disables the electronic lock. He enters the room slowly. 

“Playtime again already?” The prisoner asks, he sits on his knees with his arms chained behind his back. His clothes are tattered, his body covered in bruises and cuts. A chain hangs around his neck still, the end of it hidden by the remnants of a black t-shirt. Kei sets his bags down and kneels in front of Pita. His hands are shaking and he has to take slow deep breaths to calm himself. 

“What’s it going to be?” The prisoner asks. Kei moves the strip of shirt aside and focuses on the silver and black ring that hangs there. The prisoner jerks back. “Don’t touch that.” Kei focuses on keeping his breathing even. Focus on the mission. Get the prisoner ready to move. The prisoner, because Kei can’t think of him as anything else right now if he has any hope of functioning. 

Kei takes his blacklight pen from a pocket on his vest and lifts the prisoner’s left arm a bit, he moves aside the scraps of the prisoner's shirt and reveals a small cat paw tattoo. Kei shines the light on it and reveals the number one, he touches his finger to it. He wonders how he missed it, he lifts his glasses up for a moment and realizes that the paw print is small enough that it turns into just a black spot when he can’t see. The prisoner relaxes and lets out a sigh of relief. 

“You’re here for me then? Do you have a phone? I need to make a call,” he’s been imprisoned for days, probably tortured and the first thing he asks for when he’s rescued is for a phone. Kei changes his voice, he speaks Korean because it had said in Pita’s file that he spoke Korean. 

“No phone, I’m going to take care of your wounds while we wait for Beam Weapon,” Kei pulls the first aid bag closer and unzips it. It’s hard to see how bad his injuries were when there was so much blood and dirt. He takes a pair of scissors out first and cuts away the remains of the shirt. 

“Wouldn’t mind the bag coming off my head, or you know, my hands-free,” The prisoner says in a carefree way. “I’m not gonna lie I probably can’t see much now anyway so the bag is pretty um… shit I forgot the word.” 

“You can’t see?” Kei almost forgets to disguise his voice in his panic. He manages to catch it though, and then he removes the pillowcase. He has to cover his mouth to keep from making any sounds. The prisoner’s face is badly beaten, one eye completely swollen shut and the other is only partially opened but can’t seem to focus. “Close your eyes. I’ll take care of it.” The prisoner closes his eye and nods weakly.

Kei moves on autopilot. He frees the prisoner’s hands and helps him to lay down carefully. He puts a cold pack over the prisoner's eyes to help with the swelling and then works to clean and dress some of the wounds. His hands are shaking. He needs to keep it together. 

“Can you walk?” Kei asks.

“Not sure. Did you bring a stretcher?” The prisoner moves his legs and even with half his face covered Kei can see him wince in pain. 

“Of course we did.” 

“Hey don’t get defensive, Beam Weapon’s an idiot… I don’t know you so I don’t know what you’d do,” the prisoner tries to smile. Kei has to focus to keep his breathing normal.

“I’m a crow. I started around two years ago.” 

“What do they call you then?”

“Megane-kun,” Kei takes out the pieces of the stretcher and starts to assemble it. 

“You wear glasses?” 

“I’m going to move you onto the stretcher, It’s going to hurt,” Kei lays the stretcher out beside the prisoner. He waits til he sees his small nod then slides him onto it. The prisoner bites down on his lip to keep from crying out. Kei pulls out a blanket and wraps it around him. The prisoner reaches for the cold packs over his eyes. Kei catches his hand before he can move it. He lifts Kuroo’s hand and presses it against his own cheek. When he speaks it's in his own voice.

“You don’t need to make that phone call,” he whispers. Kuroo’s thumb strokes across his cheek brushes against his glasses then moves down and traces gently over his lips. Kei nods just a bit. 

“Fucking Oikawa.” 

“Yeah,” Kei turns his head and presses a kiss to Kuroo’s palm. Kuroo starts to sit up then, the cold pack falling from his face. Kei puts a hand on his chest and forces him back down. “Don’t move.” He tucks the blanket back around him carefully. 

“Kei.”

“Megane-kun.”

“Megane-kun… What are you doing here?” Kuroo opens his one eye and watches Kei. 

“Because my boyfriend didn’t come home. Again,” Kei packs everything back into the first aid kit. They can’t leave any trace that they were here other than the obviously missing prisoner. 

“I trie-”

“It’s not the time or the place for this discussion, beam weapon will be here soon and then we need to get out.” 

“Who else is here?” 

“Yokai-senpai and Titan. Kodzuken is on coms,” Kei zips up the bags and throws the straps back over his shoulders. “We’ll talk about all of this when we get back.” He turns to talk to Kuroo again and finds that the other man has fallen unconscious. Maybe it’s better. It will be easier to get him out like this. He won’t notice the pain as much when he’s being jostled on their way out. Kei gently wipes away some blood and dirt from Kuroo’s face. 

Kuroo left him. Kuroo left for two years. He cleared his things out of their shared apartment and he left without a word. He left Kei without a word. He got the eyebrow scar at Oktoberfest when he slipped in beer. Kuroo left him. He got sick in South America and he wanted to call Kei but he didn’t because he was afraid that he wouldn’t show. Kei keeps his gaze on the ring that hangs around Kuroo’s neck. He was going to propose again when he got back from his business trip. 

_“If you sign this contract then you agree to turn your life over to us. You must never tell anyone your true job. It doesn’t matter if you get married and adopt a bunch of brats. It doesn’t matter if your family reaches out. This job stays secret.”_

_Kei comes home to their apartment after an exam. Kuroo’s eight pairs of tennis shoes are gone from the doorway, his clothes are gone from their closet and dresser, his toiletries are gone from the bathroom, his files are gone from his office._

_“Our lead agent is coming back.”_

_“Yokai-senpai?”_

_“No, Yokai is second in command. Pita is our boss. He’s been undercover.”_

_“Pita? Talk about a shitty codename. I’ve never heard of him.”_

_“He’s been gone a long time. That’s why we’re celebrating.”_

_“Well, have fun with that.”_

_“You could come.”_

_“Why did you wait so long?”_ _  
_ _“Because I was weak. I was too weak to… Come back and face what an idiot I’d been,”_

_“No lies Kei. I was sick for five weeks. I was hospitalized and bedridden for most of it. It took me a while to get my strength back. I fell when I first got sick and it caused the dislocated shoulder.”_

_What about if he died on a mission? Fukurodani would send a cleanup crew to his apartment. They’d pack away all his belongings and lie to his job. No one would ever know the truth. Kuroo would never know the truth._

_“Jesus Tsukki that looks… That’s your tattoo?”_

_“Kuroo Tetsurou, my... He's the closest thing I have to family.”_ _  
_ _The Voice looks at him almost curiously._ _  
_ _“Kuroo Tetsurou. I’ll add it to your file.”_

_“Who’s Kuroo?” Omi asks._ _  
_ _“I thought you were dating a normie,” Thing one says._

_“What about the other kids? The Golden Owl and The Black Cat?”_

_“They’re both still agents. Their code names have changed. The Black Cat is Pita now.”_

_“I was a foster kid. Lived in a group home for most of my childhood.”_

_“Do you like your job?” Kuroo’s fingers trace over the tattoo again._

_“He wasn’t ready to go back out. He’s stubborn though, doesn’t listen to me.”_

_“You said what you said on the phone and I thought that you probably knew and now apparently you don’t but it’s too late to make changes to the mission so we’re just going to have to handle things as they come. You’re going to have to handle things.”_

**_“You’re panicking and I need you to breathe. Just breathe for me, babe.”_ **

Kei breathes deep and lets it go slow. The door creaks open behind him and he turns quickly with his gun raised, ready to fight. 


	15. Chapter 15

They took too long. Kei should have tried to get out of the building with Kuroo instead of sitting there waiting for Bokuto. He’s managed to chain the door shut using the chains that had restrained Kuroo but it won’t hold forever. Kuroo is still unconscious, Kei has moved him into a corner of the room out of sight of the small window. The air reeks of blood and gunsmoke. A body lays near the door, blood pooling around it. Kei crouches beside Kuroo, his gun in his hand. He’s just reloaded. He’ll fight, he’ll fight for as long as it takes to keep Kuroo safe, to finish the mission, and get home.

Kei’s leg hurts. There’s a bullet in his thigh, his pants wet with his own blood. It’s not too bad right now but he might have to tie it off soon if he loses too much blood. He wonders what’s taking so long, why hasn’t Bokuto come for them yet? 

“Moonshine,” Kuroo says softly. Kei holds out one hand and Kuroo takes it. 

“Can’t remember my codename?” He asks. Kuroo chuckles and gives his hand a squeeze. 

“I like Moonshine better. Usually makes you blush,” Kuroo’s gaze drops to his leg. “You’re losing too much blood now though, you’re pale. Give me your first aid kit.”

“We don’t have time,” Kei can hear them working on the door. He has to keep fighting. Has to protect Kuroo. 

“Kei give me some damn bandages before you bleed out. Stop being stubborn,” Kuroo grabs the first aid bag that still hangs from Kei’s shoulder, he pulls it open and pulls out a bandage. 

“We wouldn’t be here right now if you hadn’t been too stubborn to admit you needed more time to recover.” Kei snaps at him. 

“How long have you known?” Kuroo tugs Kei’s leg closer and examines it. “There’s no exit wound.” He tears away more of Kei’s pant leg and pours some water on the wound to see it better. Kei tries not to let the pain show on his face, he looks at the time on his watch. 

“Almost an hour,” Kuroo moves his leg again and Kei has to put a hand on his shoulder to keep his balance. He worries that he’s hurting him but Kuroo doesn’t move away from the touch at all. 

“Almost an hour since what?”

“That’s how long I’ve known. I think… I suspected something but I didn’t want to think about it before,” has it really been such a short amount of time? Kuroo’s hands pause and he lifts his head to look into Kei’s eyes.

“They sent you in here blind?” He’s angry. 

“Beam Weapon didn’t know until the mission briefing, I figured out who he was because of The Voice.” 

“Are you alright Moonshine?” Kuroo goes to touch his cheek but stops when he sees that his hands are covered in Kei’s blood. 

“You’re half dead, stop worrying about me.” 

“I’ve had worse. I’m going to leave the bullet in for now. I’d probably do more damage digging it out here. I like your legs so I’d rather not cause a bigger scar.” 

“How are you flirting right now?” Kei feels both exasperated and fond at the same time as he so often does when Kuroo is involved. 

“Because you’re pretty hot right now. Seriously have you seen yourself? You should definitely wear that outfit at-” Kei cuts him off with a kiss. He keeps it light and short, he’s sure that even that must hurt. 

“Be quiet,” He orders. 

“Give me a gun.” 

“You can’t even see.”

“I bet I’m still a better shot than you.”

“Stop flirting.”

“Who says that was flirting?” Kuroo’s lips turn up in a pathetic attempt at his Cheshire grin. 

“I know you,” Kei wonders if that’s actually true. He’d had all the clues right in front of him and he’d missed them all, or maybe it’s less that he’d missed it and more that he hadn’t wanted to see it. If he’d seen it then he would have had to acknowledge that Kuroo hadn’t left him. Kuroo never wanted to leave him. The agent Pita had been captured on a mission. A rescue wasn’t possible then. Pita had been held prisoner for a year and a half. He’d spent six more months in a hospital recovering, he’d almost been ready to come home when he’d gotten an infection. It took five more weeks for him to recover from that. Kei had read it all in Pita’s file. 

“You know me,” Kuroo affirms. He finishes tying off the bandage then pulls Kei in for another brief kiss. “My face hurts but I really wanna kiss you more.” 

“Save it for when we get home.” 

“Do I still have a home?” 

“You always will,” Kei removes his second gun from his ankle holster and puts it in Kuroo’s hand. “But we have to get there first. Beam Weapon should have been here by now. We need to go. I need you to be alright to walk on your own.” 

“I know Moonshine. But my left leg is probably broken, fractured at least. My right foot is definitely broken. I won’t be walking for a few months probably,” Kuroo familiarizes himself with the gun and makes sure it’s loaded. 

“Does this mean you won’t be cooking dinner then?” Kei needs to keep things light, need to not think about the inevitable fight to escape. He’s going to have to carry Kuroo out. The stretcher is useless with just himself, he hasn’t heard anything from the radio in a while. He’s pretty sure that something has happened to their communications. 

“I’ll order. We’d die of starvation if I left our meals to you,” Kuroo teases. Kei wishes he could kiss him again because despite the immense pain he must be in he’s acting like everything's fine. Kei knows he’s doing it to keep him calm. 

“There are pain killers in my bag. You should take them,” Kei reaches for the pocket they’re kept in but Kuroo stops him. 

“They’ll make me too loopy. I need to be able to fight.” 

“I’ll protect you Kuroo. I’ll get us out of here,” Kei says, he’s determined not to lose Kuroo again. 

“Then let me fight to protect you too,” Kuroo shifts himself a bit to prepare. 

“I hate to interrupt while you guys are having a moment but we should probably head out before Titan accidentally blows us all up or something,” Bokuto is standing in front of the now open door. His guns are gone and he holds a knife in his hand, his golden eyes are dark. There’s a streak of blood across his cheek that he doesn’t seem to even notice. Kei wonders how this could be the same carefree man that he’d played video games with. 

“About damn time,” Kuroo says, his voice flooded with relief as he hands the gun back to Kei. He feels a little jealous at that. Kuroo is perfectly willing to let Bokuto take things over but he’d felt the need to fight alongside Kei. It makes sense though. Bokuto and Kuroo grew up together, they went through something that Kei himself could never imagine. They have a bond. 

“Let’s get moving, we’ve been here too long,” Kei manages to stand up with little challenge. He can definitely feel the bullet wound in his leg. He’s going to regret walking on it later but it shouldn’t keep him down. Not like Kuroo’s broken foot and leg will. Bokuto holds his knife in his teeth and moves into the room. He helps Kei move Kuroo back onto the stretcher and they both lift him up. Kei refuses to look down as they head for the exit. He doesn’t want to see the bodies that litter the ground, Doesn’t want to think about how Bokuto managed to cause so much chaos with just his knife. Without anyone raising the alarm. 

Getting out is even easier than getting in. The building is practically empty now, there are signs of fighting all around. They get to the pickup zone and find Yokai-senpai, Titan, and Kodzuken waiting for them. Kodzuken has a video game console in his hands and he seems to not care about anything happening around them. He explains that their communication got cut after Bokuto had broken something in the building’s security room. Kuroo scolds him and confiscates the game system. 

A helicopter arrives for them not long after. They load up quickly with all their supplies. Kuroo is moved onto a more sturdy gurney and strapped down. Kei sits beside him and slips his hand into the other man's and holds on tightly. He doesn’t know who he’s trying to comfort more. Now that they’re out of immediate danger the reality of everything is starting to hit him. Kuroo is alert and cheerful, joking with his teammates and Bokuto. He doesn’t let go of Kei’s hand either though. 

Kei rests his elbows on his knees and holds Kuroo’s hand against his own cheek. He lets his eyes close and doesn’t care that the others can see him. He’s got Kuroo back. Kuroo, who never tried to leave him. Kuroo never left him. He’s having trouble wrapping his head around that. Kuroo had finally been able to come home and Kei had given him nothing but shit. Kuroo slips his hand out of Kei’s grasp just to card his fingers through his hair instead. 

“You’re too far away,” Kuroo says softly. Kei rolls his eyes but then leans onto the gurney and rests his forehead gently on the other man’s shoulder. 

“I thought they didn’t know each other,” Titan whispers, he seems to have forgotten that they’re all wearing headsets.

“Obviously they do,” Yokai-senpai whispers back. 

“They’re engaged!” Bokuto says cheerfully as he scrubs his face with a wet cloth. Kuroo keeps running his fingers through Kei’s hair and it's soothing enough that he wants to fall asleep despite all the noise and the shaking of the helicopter. 

“We’re not engaged yet,” Kuroo corrects. “I’ve got the ring. I need to propose again.”

“You don’t need to propose again, it’s fine.” Kei sits up so he can see Kuroo’s face. 

“You’re bleeding out, tell me that again when you’re not loopy from blood loss. Yakkun can you come look at his leg? I like his legs and I’d really rather he not lose one.” 

“Sure,” Yokai-senpai unbuckles himself from his seat and grabs a first aid kit as he moves to sit beside Kei. 

“It’s fine Yokai-senpai,” Kei wants to move away but he realizes Kuroo’s got a hold of his vest. 

“He’s got a bullet in his thigh he’s not fine,” Kuroo gives Kei a stern look and he slumps back in his seat letting Yokai remove the bandage from his leg. He works to clean the wound out and examines it carefully.

“Yep, definitely a bullet. You’re gonna have a pretty gnarly scar when they get it out of you,” Yokai-senpai says. Kei pulls his leg away and grabs some clean bandages to wrap it back up himself. 

“It doesn’t matter what it looks like. I just want to get home,” Kei sighs. “They should spend their time focusing on this pain in the ass instead of me.”

“Oh yeah!” Bokuto bounces in his seat. “Now you know it fits him right? Kaashi picked it!” 

“The Voice did? I thought The recruiter picked all the codenames,” Kei stretches out his leg and slips his hand into Kuroo’s again. 

“He does but Kaashi is like the boss ya know? So he thought Kuroo was annoying enough that he got Kawa to change his codename.” 

“The Voice is scary,” Titan says. “Pita, how did you manage to anger him?”

“It’s a long story.”

“He’s an expert at annoying people,” Kei says with a small smile. 

“He’s been perfecting annoying Kaashi since we were kids,” Bokuto laughs. It hits Kei then. The Black Cat became Pita. Pita is Kuroo. He was part of the experiment. He was a child raised by Fukurodani. Kuroo had told him he was a foster child, he’d never had a chance to build a blanket fort.

Kei presses a kiss to his hand and pushes down the panic trying to build in his chest. This is not the time or place. They’ll get to headquarters and they’ll all get medical treatment. Once there’s no bullet in his leg Kei will stay with Kuroo until it’s time for him to go home and then Kei will stay with him until Kuroo can walk on his own again. He has to make up for everything he’s put Kuroo through since he’d come home. 

Titan and Bokuto are chatting cheerfully about something inane and Kei tunes them out to focus on the feel of Kuroo’s hand in his own. Kuroo had been held prisoner, tortured and beaten, and barely kept alive until a team could go in and rescue him. The first thing he’d done on his own had been to seek out Kei at the museum and Kei had punched him. He’d cursed him. He’d pushed him away. This time Kuroo had only been held for a few days but even then at the first sign of rescue he’d asked for a phone, Kei has no doubt that Kuroo had been planning on calling him. 

“Come back,” Kuroo says. Kei lifts his eyes and focuses back on the man lying in front of him. “Stay with me. Breathe.” Kei breathes. 

“We’re going to land,” the pilot's voice comes across their headsets. Kei gives Kuroo’s hand one more squeeze then let's go. They’ll be whisked away to the medical wing. They’ll be separated until Kei’s leg is cleared. As much as he wants to stay by Kuroo’s side, fighting against them will only make things worse. 

“Thirty minutes,” Kei says, his gaze locked onto Kuroo’s one good eye. “Then I’ll be with you.” 

“Let them take care of you Moonshine. Don’t risk your health for me. I know you’ll come when it’s time.”

“Isn’t his name Megane-kun?” Titan asks. 

“Don’t call him moonshine,” Kodzuken warns, he’s got his game system back again and Kei wonders when he’d gotten it back from Kuroo without them noticing. 

“Only I get to call him moonshine,” Kuroo says with a grin. 

The helicopter lands and just like Kei had expected there are already medics waiting there for them on the landing pad. Kuroo is whisked away first and then they make Kei get into a wheelchair and bring him to his own room. He tells them not to bother with the painkillers because he doesn’t want to wait the extra time for it to kick in. He needs to get to Kuroo. They remove the bullet from his leg and they get the wound patched up and dressed. Kei’s given a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt to replace his old clothes. They tell him he can’t walk so he wheels himself to Kuroo’s hospital room to wait. The other man isn’t there yet, still being operated on somewhere or something. Kei closes his eyes while he waits. He doesn’t know how long it takes before he falls asleep in his wheelchair. 


	16. Chapter 16

“Wakey wakey,” someone sings way too close to Kei’s face. He raises a hand to swat them away but meets with only air. 

“Leave him alone,” Kuroo warns. His voice is hoarse and everything that’s happened rushes back into Kei’s head. He opens his eyes to reveal a blurry room and squints to try and see better. 

“Where’d my glasses go?” His neck is stiff from sleeping in the wheelchair and his leg is hurting. 

“Kenma do you have them?” Kuroo asks. Someone moves from the other side of the room and holds out the glasses to Kei. They’re his normal glasses, the ones he’d left in a locker at the start of the mission. Kei puts them on and blinks a few times. Kodzuken is standing in front of him and Kei assumes that he’s the one Kuroo had called Kenma. The other guy in the room is one that Kei’s seen around headquarters, he’s got a bleached mohawk and a weird look on his face. Kei’s pretty sure that this guy has the codename Mohawk. 

“You’re feeling okay?” Kei chooses to ignore the other two and rolls his wheelchair closer to the bed. Kuroo reaches out with his good arm and takes Kei's hand. 

“Of course I am,” Kuroo flashes his Cheshire grin. “My boyfriend came and rescued me.”

“You’re cheesy,” Kei squeezes Kuroo's hand and sits back.

“Let’s go, Tora. I need a ride home.” Kodzuken has his game system in his hands again, his hair hanging in his face. 

“Oh right right, try and stay out of trouble for like five minutes yeah Pita?” Mohawk says patting Kuroo on the shoulder. Kuroo winces and waves him away.

“Get lost would you?” he says. Mohawk laughs and puts his hands on Kodzuken’s shoulders to guide him out of the room. Kei watches them go and then turns his gaze back to Kuroo. He looks better than he did before. His hair’s been washed and there’s no more dirt or blood on him. He’s got a soft grey t-shirt on and his arms are wrapped in bandages. There’s a blanket over his legs but it looks like there’s a cast on his one and probably a boot on his other foot. Kei wishes he could lay in the bed with him. 

“Your face looks like shit,” He says. Now that it’s clean he can see the full extent of Kuroo’s injuries. He’s got one eye fully open and the swelling has gone down some so he can partially open the other. His lip is split and Kei’s pretty sure that one of his teeth is chipped. There’s a bandage wrapped around his forehead, Kei remembers that there had been a cut there, he’s probably gotten some stitches. 

“They’ve got me on some pretty hefty painkillers you know,” Kuroo says. “I bet a kiss wouldn’t hurt right now.” Kei rolls his eyes but he wants that just as much. He ignores the pain in his leg as he moves onto the edge of Kuroo’s bed. 

“I don’t know, you look pretty gross. I’m not sure I want to kiss you right now,” he teases. Kuroo hooks a finger in the collar of Kei’s shirt and pulls him in for a kiss. Kei braces his hands on the mattress on either side of Kuroo’s body and kisses him back. Pain shoots down his leg and he loses his balance nearly falling on top of Kuroo. The other man puts his hands on Kei’s arms to steady him. 

“Are you okay? I forgot about your leg,” Kuroo drops a hand to rest it gently over the bullet wound in Kei’s leg. He grits his teeth and waits for the pain to pass before speaking.

“Depends if you want to share those painkillers or not.”

“Get in this bed with me Kei,” Kuroo presses the call button for the nurse and shifts a bit to make more room. Since he’s sitting on the bed already it’s not hard to lay down, though his leg does protest when he lifts it. Kuroo links their fingers together and presses a kiss to his temple. 

The nurse that answers the call scolds them both for moving too much but she doesn’t make Kei leave. She checks on his leg and hooks him up to an IV. The painkillers start working right away. Kei’s surprised that Kuroo was even able to be conscious because he starts to fall asleep quickly.

“What’s wrong with your shoulder?” Kei asks. Kuroo lets go of Kei’s hand to wrap an arm around his shoulders. 

“Nothing now, I’ll sleep better with you there. Being a prisoner again was… It was rough,” Kuroo pulls Kei’s head down onto his shoulder. 

“Glasses,” Kei reminds him. Kuroo smiles and takes the glasses off then drops them onto the table beside the bed. It’s such a stupid thing, but letting Kuroo take his glasses from him has always felt strangely intimate. Kei rests his head on his shoulder and closes his eyes. “I missed you.”

“I’m home,” Kuroo whispers in his ear. Kei smiles as he falls asleep. 

It takes three weeks for Kuroo to be able to leave the hospital. They don’t really talk about anything while they’re there. Kei is sure that their conversations are being monitored and the fact that he’s camped out in Kuroo’s room has probably not gone unnoticed by the higher-ups. But they know already. Kei had turned in his next of kin form with Kuroo’s name on it. That’s what the look on The Voices face had been about when he read it. 

Kuroo has to remain in a wheelchair until either his foot or his leg heals. Their apartment isn’t really suited for it though so Kei ends up carrying Kuroo inside and placing him on the couch. He folds up the wheelchair and moves it into the apartment and then closes the front door and kicks off his shoes. 

“Are you hungry? I can order us something,” He says as he goes back to the living room. There’s probably no more food left in the house. He hadn’t done any shopping since Kuroo had left. 

“Maybe in a bit. Come here and sit with me,” Kuroo holds out his hand and Kei goes to him. He sits on the edge of the couch and links their fingers together. “I think we should probably talk about stuff now.” 

“You should have listed me as the next of kin. When you got captured… they would have told me something. Iwaizumi could have told me something. I thought you’d left me Kuroo. I thought that… that you stopped loving me,’ The bandages are gone from Kuroo’s arms now, there are going to be new scars. Kei traces his fingers lightly over the healing wounds.

“I’ll never stop loving you Kei. I’ll say it however many times you need me to,” Kuroo tugs him closer and rests his forehead against Kei’s. 

“I love you too,” he whispers. He’s been afraid to say it since Kuroo returned, afraid that he couldn’t trust the other man. But he didn’t leave, not willingly. He was doing his job, the same job that Kei does now. It could have happened to either of them. 

“Say that again?” Kuroo asks. 

“I love you,” Kei cups his cheek and kisses him. “I love you.” 

“Please marry me? I was going to plan something big but I just… I just need you to be mine,” Kuroo unhooks the chain from around his neck and offers the ring to Kei. “Marry me so I can stop freaking out about losing you.” 

“Yes,” Kei nods, he should say something more but it’s all he can get out. Kuroo slips the ring onto Kei’s finger and then lifts his hand to press a kiss to it. 

“Say you love me again,” Kuroo grins against his skin. 

“I love you Tetsurou,” Kei holds him close and closes his eyes. Kuroo didn’t leave him, the thought keeps running through his head over and over again. They stay there together for a while, wrapped up in each other and just being allowed to feel. After everything Kei needed this. To have Kuroo’s arms around him, to feel his heartbeat and feel his warmth. 

“How long after I left did Oikawa approach you?” Kuroo’s hand rests on the back of Kei’s head, fingers sliding through his hair. 

“It was a while after, eight months or so maybe. I signed the contract right after my graduation and went straight to the training facility.” Kei moves Kuroo forward a bit so that he can slip behind him and wraps his arms around his waist. Kuroo leans back against his chest.

“How many missions have you been on?” Kuroo plays with the ring on Kei’s finger. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t kept track,” Kei hooks his chin over Kuroo’s shoulder. 

“How long did Bokuto know that you worked for Fukurodani?” 

“I told him a couple of days ago after I’d pieced together who he was.” 

“Of course the first thing he does is drag you along on a mission,” Kuroo sighs. 

“He’s an idiot but it’s not his fault. He assumed I knew. I should have known,” Kei squeezes Kuroo just a bit tighter, being careful of the broken ribs. 

“I... You know I couldn’t tell you before.” 

“You should have made me your next of kin. They would have at least told me a lie about why you were gone but I spent two years thinking that you’d run from me.”

“I’m sorry babe.” 

“I know. I’m not mad anymore. I mean… I’m kind of mad. But not at you, it wasn’t your fault,” Kei brings a hand up to card his fingers through Kuroo’s hair. “I don’t know how I feel about it all actually. I guess I’m confused?” 

“What can I do to help?” 

“Wait until you’re back in proper shape to go on any more missions,” Kei presses a kiss to his temple. 

“Come on, if something goes wrong you can just rescue me again. I thought I was dreaming when I realized you were there. You looked hot. I totally don’t mind being the damsel in distress again if it means you’ll show up to save me,” Kuroo grins. 

“You’ve clearly got brain damage,” Kei pulls his phone out and starts searching through food delivery options. 

“I’ve got a fiance that looks hot in tactical gear.” 

“Yeah well apparently Bokuto also looks hot in tactical gear so it’s not that much of an achievement,” Kei says. Kuroo sits up too quickly and winces, placing a hand over his ribs. Kei pulls him back against his chest gently. “Calm down I’m kidding, mostly.”

“It was the hair, wasn’t it. He doesn’t spike his hair on missions. It’s not my fault you know. I try to control my hair,” Kuroo tilts his head back to look at him. 

“Your hair is ridiculous. but not terrible I guess.” 

“Thanks?” 

“You’re welcome,” Kei picks a restaurant and puts in his order then hands the phone to Kuroo so he can pick his own. 

“You don’t want to ask me anything?” Kuroo scrolls through the menu. 

“I pieced most of it together. I figure you’ll tell me the rest when you’re ready,” Kei takes his phone back after Kuroo places the order. 

“What did you piece together?” 

“Atsumu told me about his childhood. He told me the code names of the original seven kids. I also heard that at some point The Black Cat annoyed The Voice enough to get himself renamed Pain in the ass.”

“You prank a guy a few times and suddenly he’s got an entire agency calling you names,” Kuroo lets out a long sigh. 

“I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner, you did tell me that you were a menace as a child.”

“Bokuto started it.” 

“I’m finishing it.” 

“You’re still going to marry me right?”

“I already said yes, it’d be a pain to take it back now,” Kei sets his phone down and goes back to sliding his hand through Kuroo’s hair. Kuroo hums and leans into the touch. 

“You’re still going to come rescue me if I get captured again right?”

“Depends if you were being stupid or not. If you were I might leave you locked up an extra night or two,” Kei wouldn’t actually do that. Kuroo was imprisoned for a long time and it’s clear that it had an effect on him. Kei doesn't know how he missed it before. The way Kuroo’s sleep had changed and how unexpected sounds made him start. Kei remembered the night he’d left Kuroo on the couch, the way the other man had woken up when Kei knelt beside him. The night that he’d come home early from his mission and Kuroo had jolted awake at the sound of the door opening.

“Hmm, what constitutes being stupid?”

“Going back into the field again before you’re ready. The doctor said at least six months until your legs are ready but that’s not enough time. You’re out of shape and you need a refresher on your training,” 

“I’ve had a lifetime of training Moonshine, I don’t need more.”

“Yes, you do. You were out for two years Kuroo. You’re probably going to be out for another year to get back to where you were. I will help you with your training. I don’t want to have to come rescue you again because I’m pretty sure you’re a lot better at this job than I’ll ever be. You should be the one coming to my rescue.”

“I hate the idea of you doing this job. I taught you to fight to defend yourself not to cause harm to others. I know you, you’re not a violent person.” 

“It’s not like I could just get out of it even if I wanted to Tetsu, besides I’ve got the feeling that you wouldn’t get out either.” 

“It’s all I know. It’s been my whole life. But that’s not the case for you, you could have a chance to go back to a normal life.” 

“If I gave it up then who would rescue you?” 

“I mean Bokuto could probably manage,” Kuroo plays with Kei’s hands.

“I can’t let that happen since apparently, you have a thing for rescuers.” 

“Only if they’re blonde.” 

“I can’t stand you,” Kei brushes his lips against Kuroo’s neck. 

“It’s a good thing we’re sitting then.”

“I hate you and your dumb jokes.” 

“I love you too Moonshine,” Kuroo turns his head and Kei gives him a quick kiss. He kisses him again just because he can then slides out from behind him to go answer the door for their food. Kuroo is home, Kuroo is home and he’s not going to leave. Kuroo never stopped loving him. Kei knows the truth now but it’s still a lot for him to wrap his mind around. All the betrayal and the anger and the hurt it’s still there, it hasn’t just been magically cured but Kei has nowhere to direct it now. He can’t blame it on Kuroo and it’s pointless to try and blame it on Fukurodani, there’s nothing he could do against the agency. So he needs to just figure out how to let it all go and to be happy that he’s got Kuroo back with him. 

He needs to just let it all go and remember to breathe. 


	17. Chapter 17

Kei wakes with a start to the sound of Kuroo’s voice calling out for him. He’s been sleeping on the couch the past few nights in order to keep from bumping any of Kuroo’s injuries while they slept. Kei rolls off the couch and makes his way to the bedroom, slipping his glasses on as he goes. Kuroo is still asleep, just as Kei had expected him to be. The bathroom light is on and the door cracked open to keep the darkness from the room. He can see Kuroo’s body trembling. Kei goes into the room and sits on the edge of the bed. 

“Tetsurou,” He cards his fingers through messy black hair. He has to be gentle, wake Kuroo slowly in order to keep him from lashing out. He hadn’t been careful the first night and had ended up pinned to the bed with Kuroo’s forearm on his throat. Kuroo had been left in pain and feeling guilty. Kei keeps stroking Kuroo’s hair. “It’s alright Tetsu, you’re safe, you’re home with me.” 

“Kei?” Kuroo’s eyes open and the panic is palpable on his face. Kei cups his cheek and presses a kiss to his forehead.

“You’re safe. Deep breaths alright?” Kei instructs him. Kuroo grasps his arm and takes slow even breaths. “That’s it. It was just a nightmare. You’re home with me, we’re both safe.” 

“I hurt you?”

“No, of course not. I was on the couch, remember?” 

“You were on the couch the other time too.”

“I woke you too quickly last time. I know what to expect now,” Kei lays down beside him and pulls Kuroo’s head onto his chest. “I’ve got you, get some more sleep okay?”

“Sorry Moonshine,” Kuroo wraps his arm around Kei’s waist and presses his face into the fabric of his shirt. 

“Stop apologizing already, I’ve had the nightmares too,” he goes back to stroking Kuroo’s hair. “Remember when I called you while I was gone a while back?”

“When you forgot I was on the phone and you had a conversation about your mission?”

“Oh, you did hear that then?” 

“I did,” Kuroo.

“You knew what I was doing?”

“Atsumu’s voice is kinda easy to recognize. I saw your tattoo as well,” Kuroo slips a hand up the back of Kei’s shirt. 

“I had a nightmare that night, I’ve had it a few times since but that was the first night. I woke up with Atsumu and Omi holding me down and covering my mouth. I’ve been cautious about sleeping on missions since.” 

“What was the nightmare about?” 

“I had this mission a while back where we had to go to some fancy party. One of my teammates got shot, that was the mission where I got the shoulder bruise.”

“Not a rubber bullet then?” 

“Regular bullet, bulletproof tux,” Kei rests his head on top of Kuroo’s and closes his eyes. 

“The friend that got mugged?”

“Freckles, got injured on the mission. I saw them shoot him,” He sighs. 

“So your nightmares are about him being shot?”

“No… I dream about you being shot,” Kei admits. Kuroo lifts himself up on his elbows and meets Kei’s gaze. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” He promises.

“Neither of us can promise that,” Kei sighs and pulls Kuroo back down onto his chest. “We can’t predict what will happen on missions. If we get hurt or killed or captured.” 

“If you get captured then I’ll come rescue you. If you get hurt I’ll be there when you wake up in the hospital. If you get killed… I will burn down every single bastard responsible,” There’s a fierce look in Kuroo’s eyes, and Kei wishes that he’d hurry up and heal already. 

“It’s the same for me. I feel the same.” 

“Then that will be our promise,” Kuroo takes Kei’s hand and links their pinkies together. “We’ll fight for each other.”

“We’ll fight,” Kei can’t do anything but agree. That’s what their lives are now. They are both agents. They will always be in danger, they will never know what’s going to happen next or if the other is safe or in danger. They can’t work together often because they’d be too compromised. But at least they both know the truth now. Everything is out in the open. 

“Let’s get married tomorrow,” Kuroo grins up at him. 

“Let’s wait until you can walk,” Kei rolls his eyes. 

“Walking is overrated anyway.”

“Tetsurou we are not getting married with you in a wheelchair, besides we’ll have to travel somewhere and Bokuto is going to bitch if you don’t let him be your best man.” 

“You want a big wedding then?”

“No, I don’t have anyone to invite,” Kei pauses at that, he doesn’t have any blood relatives to invite but he wouldn’t mind having Yamaguchi there. “I guess a small one wouldn’t be bad. You can invite whoever. I’ll invite a couple people.” 

“We’re gonna have a real wedding,” Kuroo presses a kiss to Kei’s shoulder. “Which one of us is going to wear white?” 

“Neither of us has to wear white. I hate wearing suits actually. Can’t we just dress up a little?” 

“Button-ups and slacks?” 

“I’ll even let you wear sneakers.” 

“Marry me.”

“I’m already marrying you.” 

“Marry me again.”

“Let me get through the first one and I’ll think about it.” 

“Should we go back to Hawaii?”

“Too much sand. Paris?”

“Cliche.”

“How about somewhere with mountains?” 

“That could be okay,” Kei checks the time on the clock beside the bed. It’s not even three am yet. “We can figure the rest out in the morning. You need more sleep. The faster you heal the less annoying you are.” 

“You gonna go back to the couch?” The confidence is gone from Kuroo’s voice for just a moment. Kei presses his lips to the top of his head.

“I’ll be here,” He’ll stay awake to make sure that Kuroo can sleep soundly. If either of them moves wrong in their sleep it’ll cause Kuroo pain. Kei will stay in the bed though in the hopes that his presence will keep Kuroo’s nightmares away. 

Going back to work at the museum feels odd for some reason. Kei worries about leaving Kuroo alone at the apartment, he can get around okay on crutches now but he’s always pushing himself too much. Kei tries to sit still through a meeting but finds himself unable to stop tapping his fingers on the table. It’s dull. The whole job seems dull to him for some reason. He has to contain his excitement when he returns to his office afterward and finds The Voice seated in the same chair he’d used the last time.

“Akaashi-san, I wasn’t expecting to see you,” Kei says as he moves around the desk to take his own seat. Atsumu had said that The Voice doesn’t leave headquarters but this was now the second time that Kei had seen him at the museum. 

“I was out running errands and I thought that I should stop by and see how you are doing.” 

“You run errands?” 

“On rare occasions,” The Voice picks a small piece of lint off his sweater. 

“Are you here to see about Kuroo? He’s at the apartment alone today. I'm sure he’d enjoy some company,” He’s never sure what to make of The Voice. His face is always so impassive but every once in a while there’s something in his eyes. He’d renamed Kuroo ‘Pain in the ass’ because apparently, he’d annoyed him so much, which means he has enough of a personality to get annoyed by Kuroo’s jokes. Kei wonders what he’s like when he’s not keeping it all hidden behind that mask. What he was like as a child growing up with those other child agents. 

“Bokuto-san was speaking this morning about paying him a visit. I’m sure they’re perfectly capable of keeping each other entertained,” The Voice says.

“You’re here to see me then?”

“Yes.” 

“How long have you worked for the agency?” Kei’s not sure why he asks, The Voice isn’t supposed to talk about this kind of stuff outside of headquarters. 

“Since before I was born,” He says it simply, his face never giving anything away. “The agency is the reason I was born and one day it will probably be the reason I die.” 

“Would you leave for love?” 

“I have what I need,” He twists his hands on his lap and Kei sees it, like a crack in his calm demeanor.

“You have Bokuto-san,” Kei says. The Voice’s eyes dart up to meet Kei’s and it’s there, all that emotion hidden inside him, clearly visible in his eyes. “Like I have Kuroo.” 

“Is there going to be a wedding?” Just like that, the mask is back. 

“I assume you’ll be invited as well. Bokuto-san will most likely be Kuroo’s best man.” 

“That’s expected. I won’t be able to attend but I will send along an acceptable gift,” The Voice twists his fingers on his lap. 

“You should get out more, a wedding that will probably be full of coworkers is a better place than any.” 

“I went out once. Several years ago. After a disagreement. I went dancing,” Gunmetal eyes meet his gaze. Kei sees it then, he sees The Voice in a totally different setting. Loud music, flashing lights. 

“I danced with you,” Kei realizes. 

“Yes, I apologize for what happened afterward. I saw it on your file.”

“It’s alright. You had no way of knowing and it eventually led to Kuroo paying attention to me.” 

“Kuroo-san was already paying attention to you. Your injuries forced him to act. He was trying to build up the courage to talk to you,” Akaashi relaxes in the chair and plays with a string hanging loose on his sweater. 

“Is that why you approached me at the club?” 

“Bokuto saw you there, he may have mentioned that you were the student Kuroo was crushing on.” 

“You were checking me out,” Kei can’t help but smile a bit. 

“Bokuto-san wanted to do it himself but he was much too excited. He would have messed it up,” Akaashi says fondly. 

“That weird personality changing thing he does only happens on missions then?” 

“We all find our ways to cope. Bokuto has a kind soul, he’s smart and a quick thinker. Sometimes he lets his excitement get the better of him,” Akaashi shrugs. 

“Akaashi-san?” 

“Yes, Tsukishima-san?” 

“You should go out more. Feel free to stop by here or the apartment anytime your errands bring you to the area,” Kei offers. Akaashi looks surprised for a moment and then he nods. 

“That sounds… Pleasant,” He admits. Kei gives him a small smile and then taps his fingers on his desk thoughtfully. “I haven’t had lunch yet. Would you like to join me?” 

“I’m afraid I’ve already detoured from my errands for too long as it is,” Akaashi sighs and stands up. “Thank you for meeting with me Tsukishima-san. Have a good day.” He bows a bit and then heads out of the office. Kei realizes after he’s gone that he had no idea what Akaashi had come for in the first place. 


End file.
